We (I) still have a mortgage around $95000 to pay off and there is more money going out than coming despite my best efforts to curtail spending. I allow myself $10 per week after doing a 45 hour week. Quite frankly I am ready to sell up and walk away.
2007-10-07 21:24:38 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
She can only spend what you give her (if she's not working). I would take her name off the Bank Accounts and take away all the Credit Cards. Then seek budget counseling for both of you. At the rate you going she's going to work you to death. If your monthly bills can not be paid on a 40 hour a week check you are living above your means.
You should also find out where the bills are paid too, and how much they are.
You didn't say how long you and your wife have been married, however don't walk away without trying to get help first.
P.S: Don't make any babies in this relationship (you can't afford them), especially if y'all get divorced.
2007-10-07 22:00:14 · answer #1 · answered by Daddy Big Dawg 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think you give her an ultimatum, either she gets a job or you sell up and walk away. There may be a reason why she wont work, but Im sure she would feel better if she was contributing as well as you. Dont get taken advantage of, marriage is a sharing of responsibility and she needs to get out there and earn money to help you. You will end up very bitter if this continues.
2007-10-07 21:37:00 · answer #2 · answered by dances 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If she's not depressed or anything else that may prevent her from working, just tell her if she doesn't get a job soon, that you're going to divorce her, if you have to get the money from joint accounts if you have any, cancel all credit cards in her possession and then move out. Withhold all the money you earned from her until you are ordered by the courts to give money. Oh and by the way, even if you did have kids at home, your wife still needs to get off her lazy butt and work for a living. It's not fair for partners not to contribute.
2007-10-07 21:30:18 · answer #3 · answered by some female 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Sometimes landing a job is a lot harder then it seems. She might have had bad experiences in the past with jobs being abusive. One of the best ways to land a job lately, is to start at a temporary agency. Temps can pick and chose what types of jobs they think they might like and because the employers needing temps are usually in such a desperate situation, they treat temporaries pretty well. Finances are the number one problem in most relationships and it seems like there is probably help available to people who have a partner that have different financial habits then you.
2007-10-07 21:38:01 · answer #4 · answered by hilarys_skillery 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Some people have naturally lazy. They dont want to work and it is hard to chang them become hard working. In this case you should try to explain with the financial you are facing right now.If she is a considerate person she will work for helping you. After talking with her few time but she still dont want to work, i think you deserve someone else before you have children.For the long run, we still not sure if you still can work or not, what happen if one day you become sick and cant work ? Who will pay the mortgage and how to support your life and her ? Think about this before you have children. You can just forget about it in case you have a very big income every years.....
2007-10-07 21:38:39 · answer #5 · answered by Sinatha 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Especially with no kids in the house she needs to get a job, it sn't your job to just support her she needs to contribute. This isn't the 1950's she needs to work or she needs to leave, take the money away she uses for wants, makeup and etc, not the money for food and gas for the vehicle, tell her you will help her with money for the needs but she won't get the stuff she wants unless she get gets a job.
2007-10-08 02:00:13 · answer #6 · answered by chiefs fan 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Thank God there are no children. If she won't be a part of the team then perhaps it's time to split up the team. You two should be partners and she should be helping. If she isn't give her an ultimatum and stick to it.
She's your wife, she should be more than happy to help.
2007-10-07 23:34:00 · answer #7 · answered by az_mommma 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You might try putting her in the picture as far as your total financial situation is concerned. Cancel the credit cards and see what you can live without. I'm living without manicures and pedicures and the latest fashions and shoes. Since I'm at home, where would I wear them? If you can communicate to her that it would be helpful if she could contribute (doing it in a loving manner) she might see what she could do.
If you're just laying down the law and trying to bully her into working, you'll get the opposite result.
There is financial counseling available if you're really serious.
2007-10-07 21:30:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
if you haven't already, just talk with her like a person and although you don't necessarily feel like it, your equal. I'm not sure the ultimatum route is best. if she is rational she will understand the money in, money out ratio is not working out. if she doesn't then I'd say take other options ... whatever they may be.
2007-10-07 23:43:26 · answer #9 · answered by me 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why won't she work? maybe she's preoccupied with something else. Try asking her. If she refuses, remind her how hard you work and how she needs a job in order for the two of you to survive.
2007-10-07 21:30:36 · answer #10 · answered by airforcewolf 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋