When should a woman consider abortion?

Question

My best friend I grew up with up called me today and told me she is pregnant. I am really surprised and at the same time concern for her. She's Asian-American, 21, and has a job. Her boyfriend is 22, also Asian-American, and has a job, but together combine, they don't make enough to have a place of their own. They are both still living with their family, but their family has enough on their plate, so having a baby wouldn't make anything easier for her. She also told me she knows she still want to travel, enjoy life in her twenties and not rush things. The boyfriend says he kind of want to have the baby, but he has never really think things out thoroughly. I am curious what everyone else think? If you are okay with abortion, when and how should a woman like my friend go about doing it? What are some suggestions? Should she make an appointment with Planned-Parenthood? She doesn't want her family to know yet, should she let them know? Any advice would be much appreciated.

Answer 1

If a woman wants to have an abortion, the reasons why should not matter. It is her decision.
Getting an abortion should be done as soon as possible because the longer a woman waits the more it costs.
http://www.abortion.com (a list of clinics)

Answer 2

First of all she shouldn't listen to what anyone else says about it...it is her body- her choice- and her life. On a different note: abortion should not be just a quick and easy way to prevent babies though...if she doesn't want kids now then she and her BF should consider other options of birth control.

Now I think that abortion at this time for her would probably be the best option...simply it's too late to change the fact that she got pregnant. Now you will hear about that's it's wrong and the baby deserves to live and it sounds very nice...but when it comes down to it you have to do what's best for the baby. If she and her BF are not financially or mentally ready for a baby then NO it's not the right time. A baby is a full life time commitment and if both of them are not sure or haven't thought about it - they will not be prepared for the responsibility. She should go to planned parenthood and make an appointment to see the doctor and a counselor. An abortion is a very heavy burden to carry and she will have mixed emotions about it. If she feels comfortable with talking about it to her mother or good friends...she should, she will need to have those forms of support during and after the operation if she does it. They are both young and have their whole life to plan more children if that's what path they take...but a child is a blessing at the right time. Do not make it something she regrets for the rest of her life...either way she chooses.

Answer 3

First of all, I want to say that I am all for women's rights. Based on the information provided, I don't think that she should have an abortion. These are my reasons:
1. Most people have children in their 20's.
2. She is still with the father.
3. She has a supportive family.

Many families do not have the financial means to support a child, but I don't think that that reason alone should be enough to get an abortion. There are many programs available for pregnant women and mothers with young children. Your friend wants to travel and enjoy life, but she cannot currently support herself. Either way, she's going to have a wait a while before she'll be able to have the money to travel.

Answer 4

She can go in to planned parenthood and meet with a counselor, and should do so right away. The vast majority of what planned parenthood does is not abortion (only 8% of their services are abortion) - they provide medical care, birth control counseling and birth control, pregnancy testing and counseling and can help your friend gather all the facts. They make no suggestion one way or the other as to what choice the client makes -- unlike alot of so called 'pregnancy counseling centers' that basically lie, manipulate and confuse patients all to avoid abortion.

this will always be a heated (and sometimes violent) line of conversation as people have very strong beliefs about this topic. While everyone is absolutely entitled to their beliefs, it is ultimately your friends choice, and under no circumstances is it an easy one. The best thing your friend can do is talk to a counselor and get all the facts so she can make an informed decision free of other people's personal opinions.
blessings.

Answer 5

I had my first baby just after my 22nd birthday, my husband did not even have a real job yet we lived off of savings and when he did get a job it was right before she was born .He is older and has more work experience than a 22 year old but he got a good paying job where most people who work there do well with what they earn. If she does decide to have her baby I would say that a baby brings not just set backs but lots of love and happiness. It brings family and closeness.Tell her take care of her self what ever she does and that people will still be there for her if she keeps her child.Just be there for her no matter what because pregnant woman need support.

Answer 6

I was 22 years old when i first got pregnant i had been married for a month when i found out. I was not happy at first I was not working my husband only works part time for just above minimum wage we could barely afford the roof over our head and I knew we could never afford a baby. I never considered abortion! I ended up losing the child to a miscarriage 6 weeks later and I have been wrought with guilt for not really wanting the pregnancy at first. Even thought it was nothing i did that caused the miscarriage I still get upset sometimes. If i had an abortion i don't even want to think about the guilt and sadness i would be feeling but if you going to have sex you need to except all responsibly that comes with the territory including pregnancy. It has been a year since the lost and I am due to have a induction for my current pregnancy on the 12th. Children are a blessing because so many good people would love to have children and are unable to conceive. Your friend should get on her knees and thank god she is able to be blessed with children. She needs to grow up and except responsibility

Answer 7

I 100% echo what Bubble said....my husband and I have also been ttc for over 2 years now, since I came off of contraceptives.

I also don't believe it's right to abort in 'just any' situation..if you don't want to get pregnant, don't have sex...if you're having sex, do everything in your power to prevent it and if you get pregnant anyways after all that, then deal with it! (and not by abortion! it is so over-used when someone makes a careless mistake in a moment of weakness and it's inexcusable, imo.). She wasn't raped and is in a stable relationship where the father is more than happy to take on the challenges of raising a child on a lower income...it happens every day! The heartache and emptiness left behind after an abortion can hit a woman hard afterwards, whether she is pro-choice or not! Also, why wouldn't she be able to travel, just because she has a child? I've moved countries since having a child...it hasn't stopped me! A baby may put a strain on the income, but it will add so much to her heart...something you can't get anywhere else! BTW, I was also 21 (almost 22) when I had my baby, though I was already married, but just barely, when we conceived first time around.
If they do decide to keep the baby (whether through lack of abortion or deciding against adoption) and they are in the US, they can go to their local DHHR (Department of Health and Human Resources) and apply for housing, she can sign up to WIC which will continue until the child is 5, she'll get free health care during and just after pregnancy, the baby will have medical care through the state for as long as needed (either until they manage to get health care through a job or until a certain age is reached)....also, they can apply for financial aid to help them out until they can get more on their feet.

Basically what I'm saying is that if it's 100% the money thing (or at least mostly) that shouldn't stop them as there are a million and one things they can do to bring more money in, whether they decide to get state help or find new, better paying jobs, etc..there are so many more options than just having the baby growing inside her ripped out and destroyed.

Answer 8

I think she should have had this discussion before she got pregnant. Was she trying not to get pregnant? Was this an accident? I think she should weigh whether her relationship is stable enough to raise a child, whether the can do it financially. If she's ready to marry this guy and settle down and give a child a home, then have it. If she thinks this relationship won't last and he'll be gone in a year or two, then don't have it, or don't raise it and give it up for adoption. You can still travel with one child, although it's much harder. "Kind of wants to have a baby" isn't going to get him through the months of not sleeping at night or the days of having to work to put food on the table. Instead of making an appointment with Planned Parenthood, she should make it with a counselor who can help her work through her decision.

Answer 9

Maybe she could arrange an open adoption. That way she could visit the child anytime and still be actively involved in its life. But she needs to make clear that she wants to be actively involved to the adopting parents.
But abortion is certainly NOT the answer. If she didn't want adult responsibilities she shouldn't have made an adult decision.
Someone in my family had an abortion when they were 16 and she said she will regret that until the day she dies.
I was 20 when I had my son and my father had disowned me due to religious reasons (I wasn't married at the time) and my mother lived overseas. It was tough the first year but there is so much help out there. There's WIC, Medicaid, and the Grandma Program will pay for daycare if she wants to keep working. Also, if the father doesn't want anything to do with the baby there is housing based solely on your income. My friend payed $75/month for her rent. But if he doesn't want to help with the baby I would tell your friend to have a judge make him at least pay child support. He owes her that much.

Answer 10

abortion should be considered only by one person.....ie the pregnant women. A child is not about money or issues. If you feel that she might benefit from some more information on abortion urge her to see a doctor and they will be able to help.
An abortion must be performed before 12 weeks into the pregnancy and usually before 8 weeks. I also think as her friend you should consider talking more to her and not yahoo as it will ultimately be her decision and abortion is not a light subject as some people that go thru with it feel guilty and very depressed for years afterward.
Concentrate on her and not the issues you think are a problem.
I would definately not abort a baby but then I dont hav a problem with those that choose that path....it's a womens body and a womens choice!

Answer 11

NEVER! That is a little girl or boy inside your body! Unless there's a life threatening medical reason, abortion should never be used as a method of birth control. The time to think about that was before you had sex..... By the time you knew you were pregnant, that little baby girl had her own heartbeat and her own blood, and her own little body. Abortions do have physical and psychological consequences for the woman and the man. This is fact is often overlooked by planned parenthood, because they"re in the business of "selling abortions". This might sound like an uncaring answer, but please think seriously about this.
Situations like this are why God's designed plan is to wait until marriage before you have sex. Just because abortion is legal doesn't make it the moral or right answer. Instead of killing a perfectly innocent boy or girl, please consider adoption. There are thousands of married couples that would be more than willing and financially able to take care of your baby and raise her/him for you.
By all means, please DO tell your family. They should be your biggest source of support and guidance. If they aren't, please find a church (even if you don't go to church, please look for one that will offer you some support).
Look for a crisis pregnancy center that will offer you non judge mental help and support.
And please remember there is help available so that you don't have to go through this all by yourself.