I recently found a picture of my newlywed wife and her ex-boyfriend laying together in an embrace and kissing. What should i do? Should I expect her to get rid of it, or should i bring it up at all?
2007-10-07 20:31:53 · 10 answers · asked by Casey M 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
yeah, but it was in a box where she keeps all her 'important' memory stuff. I got rid of all my ex's photos and gifts durring the year that we were dating. And no, I was not snooping, if she leaves the lid open on the kitchen counter with it laying on top, then of course i'm gonna see it.
By the way, please do not say 'get over it' if people are sufficiently concerned to ask these questions, then they obviously feel strongly about the subject. 'get over it' is an inappropriate answer when peoples feelings are involved.
2007-10-07 20:44:46 · update #1
Aw, heck. My ex husband found photos... I'm the world's worst procrastinator and never develop those disposable cameras. One day I developed a few and there were photos of my previous husband and I on a trip. The develop date stamp read "that year," so my then new husband automatically thought I'd been on some fling with the ex. People keep pictures for all kinds of reasons. It doesn't mean she doesn't love you or still cares for the ex or anything of the sort. It's nothing personal. Girls are notorious for keeping old memory stuff like photos. (My current boyfriend has tons of pictures, letters, etc., from all his old girlfriends and it doesn't bother me one bit.) She will probably throw it in a drawer. Don't let it bug you. Mention it if you like, she will be flattered that you got a bit jealous! Good for the romance!
2007-10-07 20:40:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
If you want to establish a serious, long-term relationship, then you must understand that communication is the main key. Talk to him, in a non aggressive or confrontational way. It's worse to hold in something that really bothers you, and then suddnely snap when things seem to sudden and unexpected. You need to make sure your feelings are known and expressed. Tell him that you would like to know what's on his mind and if he's moved on. What thes epictures mean to him and if there's a reason why he's holding onto them. REMEMBER! You are TALKING, not engaging an arguement. It will make you feel better after you talk, instead of keeping it in and pretending everything is ok.
2016-04-07 21:06:12 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get over it isn't an inappropriate response. You asked a question and they answered it. Everybody has had past experiences, it's what makes us who we are. Maybe the picture was from a happy time in her life, not just with her ex but as a whole. Your selfish if you want to take that away from her. You will ruin your relationship with her if you continue to act like an immature highschooler. Go ahead and make demands and see where it gets you
2007-10-07 20:56:00 · answer #3 · answered by kent v 2 · 4⤊ 1⤋
I feel for you, because my husband had kept all his pictures of his ex's and some of the steamy letters they had written each other....I asked him to get rid of it since he expected that I get rid of my ex's letters and photos. He eventually did trash them. Everyone has a past, but with all due respect, we all have a memory as well and don't need to keep physical momentos of past lovers.
2007-10-08 00:51:46 · answer #4 · answered by swtlilblonde31 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you should not expect her to get rid of it. We all have a past. Girls hang on to things a lot more than men do. It probably does not mean anything to her, it is just part of her past. If it bothers you ask her about it but do not sound accusing. Really listen to what she tells you if you do ask her and take her words at face value.
2007-10-07 20:40:46 · answer #5 · answered by kim h 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
This happen before you were in the picture. I would forget it and not let it bother you.
You know she had a life before you and I am sure she has not cleaned out everything she intends to now that she is married.
2007-10-07 20:38:59 · answer #6 · answered by missyj 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Leave her alone. She still loves you. You know it is different for everyone. Just because you were able to destroy your photos, doesn't make it right for you to expect the exact same from her. Love and marriage is never fair. It is about forgiveness and being there for one another. Not about picking at small things. Your marriage is stronger than that. Right?
2007-10-07 20:52:57 · answer #7 · answered by Bobby K 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You should put it back where you found it and forget about it. She has a past just like you do. Too bad. Get over it.
Edit - Actually no, get over it is an appropriate answer. Just because you got rid of your past mementos does NOT mean she has to. She is allowed her these items weather you like it or not.
2007-10-07 20:38:33 · answer #8 · answered by Poppet 7 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Id talk to her about it- sounds like it bothers you a bit. Don't expect her to trash it, but take the time to evaluate if there's anything that you have like that.
2007-10-07 22:02:07 · answer #9 · answered by kttphoenix 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be cool. It her ex not current. Every body have past life and current, don't bring the past into current life.
2007-10-07 20:46:26 · answer #10 · answered by yogasun2002 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋