I have been living with my one and only bf for about 11/2 years. everything is going very well and I love him alot but he has a very high sex drive, much more then I think might be normal. I was wondering how often you have sex with your guys and/or give BJs. He wants sex at lest once a day and/or BJ and I feel bad cause I DONT want to have sex everyday and I HATE giving BJs.. (anyone else hate them too?) He also wants a BJ at least once a week, if not more. He has a problem w/ porn, he tells me he doesnt watch it much anymore, but I know he does cuase I snoop on his computer(anyone else snoop?) It really bugs me that he watch porn and lies to me about it. Anyone else have this problem? I try to give him sex as much as I can, but it never seems to be enough for him...and I really hate that he watches porn.. and sometimes phone sex but I havent caught him on that in a while...he gets made when I tell him I snooped and found out.. bleh.. help!?
2007-10-07 19:20:00 · 3 answers · asked by aqu 1 in Health ➔ Women's Health
Thanks for all your replies, they are intresting. And yeah, we do plan on getting married in the next year or so, other then this problem, we are doing so well, and I know he loves me alot, he is otherwise AWESOME, which is my problem, I dont think I could find another caring guy like this. I really dont think HE knows he has such a problem, maybe he thinks its normal, of course I could just be defending him. Im 21 but he is my one and only BF, so I just wanted to know if this stuff was normal or not. I really dont see an option of leaving him, he is to much my life. Oh and is me wanting to snoop normal? Any other girl do it? Cuase I cant help but do it whenever I can! /sigh
2007-10-08 08:15:31 · update #1
without trying to sound condescending, i feel sorry for you! I know that it is easy for me to tell you just to say no!, but I'm sure that there are alot of other factors at play in your relationship. It sounds however that he has an addiction to sex. My advice would be to find your nearest support group for sex addicts. These are groups that offer support for both him and you, and a founded on the same principles as AA. He does not sound like the type that will willingly go with you and i don't think he will be very supportive (sorry for the negativity, but i have been through this myself), so go the group meeting by yourself for the first few times, and see if this will help you. Even if he never goes, they will equip you to handle the situation in all aspects. Best wishes.
2007-10-07 19:43:33 · answer #1 · answered by Aurora 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're mismatched. You can learn to give bj's -- try reading "The Sensuous Woman" if you can find a copy, or "The Joy of Sex" or "ESO: Extended Sexual Orgasm." Those books might help. Is he interested in making sex pleasurable for you? In that case, things might work out. If he's only interested in his own orgasm, then there's not much hope for the relationship. He probably lies to you because he knows the truth will get him in trouble. He may be sexually addicted: you should learn the signs - try googling it. Otherwise, though, unless there are other reasons to be with him, I don't think your relationship has much chance. If he's not really terrific and caring, I think you should find someone more suitable.
2007-10-07 20:44:28 · answer #2 · answered by Katherine W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well from your description, you seem to be really happy with your Bf. You guys one day will get married right? But here's advice for you... I don't mean to be offensive or something...
From what you describe, this men just wants to have sex with you... i may not know if he truly loves you or not or maybe he has lots of sexual partners... if you don't agree to have sex wit him, he may look for others... these are what girls are most worried about... Love is not Sex and vice versa. I just want to remind you... this is just a gentle reminder...
I don't want to see you getting hurt in the end... I know for someone you love so much you won't want a bad ending... I have a Bf, he don't ask sex... We are quite conservative in the sense that he respect me... But we will smooch.. Of course i won't reject him if we are married... Only if we are married lawfully, i will have sex with him... i won't want to have any unwanted pregnancy...
If your Bf watch porn and he lies to you that he didn't, he's not a trustworthy person. To you, you are blinded by love... you just see him as a person with no flaws at all... But if you were to ask others, they would see him as someone who disrespects you... He LIES to you... how can you count on this men in future?
It happens to many that their Bf just want their sex.. They may or may not love her... But some may think this is a way of communication... Who would like their Bf to watch porn? Watching other woman rather than you? I wouldn't like it too! I would leave that man immediately as i know there won't be happiness... but this is a very hard decision to make...
If the guy really loves you, he must sacrifice for what you need... You ask him not to watch porn, but he still does and lies to you about it... Can you think of any sacrification he made for you?
Well think about it... I don't want to see girls getting hurt in the end... No offence at all..
2007-10-07 20:05:16 · answer #3 · answered by pertinacious-gal 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋