How can I suggest my wife lose weight without offending her or ending up in the dog house.?

Question

She gave birth to our daughter 16 months ago and has retained the baby weight. I still love her and think she is beautiful, but I just want her to get back to the weight she was before the baby.

I know it's tough physically having a baby, and we both work a lot, but I have offered to go with her and she won't. I work for the city and we can use the gym for free, She admits to wanting to lose the weight too, but always finds an exscuse not too. What to do?

Answer 1

She needs to want too, for whatever reasons and she doesn't now for whatever reasons. She may be tired, taking care of babies is not easy! Whatever she is dealing with, just give her support and love her for being who she is.

If your worried about her health try explaining this with her and tell her you are willing to support her in every way including helping with the baby, housework or the meals. Whatever she needs your help with. But do not ever leave her thinking you are just not happy with her looks! She will always need to know you love her deeply no matter how she looks. If she doesn't think so ask her if something happened to you and your looks would she stop loving you?

Answer 2

Give her time and don't force the issue. Some woman never get back to their prepregnancy weight, that is just the reality of it. She may never be like she was and that is ok. She will lose the weight when she is ready. Having a baby does so much to a womans body that we can't always lose all that weight. Celebrities just give false expectations for people and weight loss after having a baby. Just give it time. Let her know that you would like to get into shape and could really use a workout buddy and it would give you some time together. Remember though that after giving birth our hormones are worse than before lol so she may take what you say the wrong way no matter what you say. Good luck

Answer 3

Mine had the same problem and her doctor has been on her for years to lose weight. What I did was start walking and I lost several pounds and toned up so she started walking with me. She could barely walk down the driveway and back and 2 months later she's doing 4 miles a day. Start eating right and taking vitamins. Get rid of red meat. Eat chicken, turkey and pork and all the veggies you want. If you fry, don't bread the meat and use olive oil. It still tastes good believe me. I grill alot so get a good grill. We also got rid of sugar and went to Splenda. You can't tell the difference except for the price tag. My wife was so excited about losing weight and inches, she went and bought her an excercise ball and weights and works out every other day with those. She's only been doing all this a month and a half and has lost 20 lbs and 3-1/2 inches. I started out at 180 at the end of May and now I'm down to 155. This is without starving yourself so you eat and still lose weight.

Answer 4

There is no good way to suggest that she lose weight without offending her. She will feel that you don't accept her as she is. She's probably already down on herself but she won't lose weight until she's motivated to do so. Try to find out if she has a girlfriend who also wants to work out. She may feel more comfortable going to an all women gym. Would she be willing to work out at home on a treadmill, etc., dvd? You can also go walking or biking together.

Answer 5

I will say this very s-l-o-w-l-y. No there is no WAY for you to say YOUR FAT without hurting her feelings. LET IT GO ALREADY . GET OVER IT. IT IS HER BODY NOT YOURS. Let her know that she is sexy just the way she is,that you love her JUST THE WAY SHE IS. If you want her to lose the weight,help her feel good about herself. Don't push exercise at her. Find something FUN to do as a couple,take her dancing,bowling,what did you two do together before the baby? Find a sitter and have a weekly date night.Show her off.Let her hear YOU BRAG ABOUT HER. TO SOMEONE ELSE she has a great ..........I love it when she........I get so HOT when she..........if money is a problem,dance with her in the kitchen,take her to a free anything out of the house,trade baby-sitting with someone.Draw her a bauble-bath,and "kidnap" your baby so she can soak-uninterrupted for an hour........when SHE feels secure and loved,that you still think she is at the top of your list-the weight will come off.

Answer 6

Maybe you could make it sound like you want to lose weight yourself, and ask her to help you by making some changes in your (joint) lifestyle. Even small steps, like (a) walking a mile everyday together after dinner, (b) cutting out all soda from your diet, or (c) not eating anything after 7 p.m. can make a big difference--you could suggest trying something like that first. Or you could ask her to go to the gym with you twice a week, or to attend a class with you (like kickboxing or something). If you make changes together, they are more likely to last, and if they last, they're more likely to result in weight loss and an overall improvement in both of your bodies (i.e., more muscle, less fat, etc.). I hope you find something that works--whatever you do, just try to be tactful--nobody likes to be reminded that they need to lose weight.

Answer 7

Try something less public. I went to the gym when I was a scrawny teen all the time and years later sought to go back to lose my baby weight. when i got there I was embarrassed by all the anorexic, ummm fit/healthy people there. I felt like they were secretly criticizing me. Your wife could also be tired and just want to laze around after work instead of excercising. I am guilty of this trait also. Try suggesting that you want to get fit and think that a romantic walk everyday might give some needed time for the two of you to talk and hang out. Also try telling her that you want to try to eat healthier foods and cut out the soda because you want to teach your daughter healthy eating habits or because you are trying to get fit and suggest she join you to help you out. I did these tricks to my husband while I was losing my baby weight to motivate him to lose the spare tire (beer belly) and to help me.

Answer 8

i need to lose that weight too. What I would LOVE for my DH to do is come to me and say. "Honey, I've changed my schedule on Mondays and WEdnesdays. I'll be home by 4 to hang with the baby so you can go work out. Then I'll go on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Cool huh?"

Since you get free gym use, you can budget for some healthy take out for when noone wants to cook after working out!-)

Answer 9

There isn't real nice way to look at someone and say "Hey I want you back at the weight you were before, wanna go to the gym with me?" It doesn't ever come out right and it always hurts someone's feelings. Give her some time. When she decides what she wants to do, support her in that, don't try and push her into anything just yet.

Answer 10

i'm sorry but there probably isn't anything that you can say that won't offend her and/or hurt her feelings.....I mean, how would you feel if she was trying to get you to take male enhancement drugs or something like that? You'd probably be hurt and feel like she didn't love you......my advice is to just support her whatever she wants to do. Stop pressuring her to go to the gym because it's probably have the reverse affects and thats why she's not wanting to go. When she's ready she'll do, if she wants to.