I have to admit I'm codependent and definitely display all the typical codependency signs. I don't know what has made me this way, or what brought about this "disorder" or whatever you'd like to label it. I need help solving this problem within myself though! I do not want to go to a counselor right off the bat. I want to know if there is anything I CAN DO myself, to help with my codependency. A lot of my relationships have been destroyed because of this behavior. I think the first step would be to make some serious changes within myself and my daily life, before I talk with any counselor. Any suggestions, ideas, input? Thanks.
2007-10-07 18:07:06 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I think first you need to realize change is not instant. The only way to change is to do something different each day. So try to work on an aspect of the codependency each day. Say you like to call a lot. Well today you would focus on not calling and finding ways to not call.
A therapist is a good solution and nothing to be ashamed about.
2007-10-07 18:18:37 · answer #1 · answered by sjsharks3921 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try writing down a list of the type of person you want to be. write what you believe it means to be independent and what your ideal behavior would be. save this then make a list of the things you do that you believe classify you as codependent. think about why you do these things and ways to keep from doing it.
you need to learn to trust yourself. so if you tell yourself you are going to do something then do it. the worse person to lie to is ;you.
once you start feeling the freedom of indepence it will get easier. self reliance can eventually take you as far as you want to go. no one else can bring you down if you are always holding you up
2007-10-08 01:28:01 · answer #2 · answered by Shanae A 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear Brandi,
Codependency, is an emotional syndrome, i.e., emotional programming, with many attributes, of a particular set of attributes. It starts in early childhood, and continues throughout our lives, unless we intervene.
Intervention, must take place at a cognitive level. Decisions must be made, i.e., boundaries set on a cognitive level. Once we make these choices, we must adhere to them, regardless of our feelings.
You keep an appointment, you made with your dentist, out of prior commitment with yourself and your dentist. You don't go, because you feel like going. Who feels like going to the dentist?
Very often, you may not feel like going to work in the morning. However, you do because you are responsible, and aware of the consequences of not going.
When you are socializing, and know you will be driving home. You stop consuming alcoholic beverages, when you reached a predetermined level. However, most likely, you feel like having more.
A good cognitive choice to make, i.e., a boundary to set, is prohibition of disrespect. When someone treats you disrespectfully in your home, order them to leave, elsewhere you leave. Do not be run by how you feel, or the consequences of your actions.
2007-10-09 11:56:16 · answer #3 · answered by Larry 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Co-dependency is usually a normal adaptation to living with someone who behaves abnormally (such as an alcoholic, drug addict or someone with a personality disorder). There are several excellent books on co-dependency if you want to know more check out your library.
2007-10-08 02:32:11 · answer #4 · answered by Delphi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
take up boxing?
2007-10-08 01:15:33 · answer #5 · answered by Goychie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋