My husband and I have been separated for 2 months. We still talk to each other, but it seems more strained the longer we go. He says he "doesn't know" what he wants. We have agreed to try marriage counseling. I'd like to hear if anyone out there had good or bad experiences with it. Thanks.
2007-10-07 17:27:35 · 8 answers · asked by LawComm 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It didn't work for us, but she wasn't willing to try to change. When the counselor got on her about it we quit because she felt like he was "picking on her".
I think if both couples are willing to try I think it could work.
2007-10-07 18:12:37 · answer #1 · answered by Zaferus 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I went through a similiar situation about 1 1/2 years ago with my husband. He, too, said he didn't know what he wanted. He went with me to counseling for one session. So, that didn't really help us very much. But, I continued to go every week for 4 months and then every other week for a while. It helped me out tremendously. I learned a lot of things about myself and why I did some of the things I did. I also learned how to make myself happy instead of relying on someone else to make me happy. This really helped my marriage. In fact, if not for this counseling, I can say that me and my husband would no longer be together. It was the best thing I could have ever done. Give it a try. It couldn't hurt.
2007-10-08 00:38:17 · answer #2 · answered by ncgirl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I went to marriage counseling prior to getting married. When my husband and I started dating, we were into drinking, drugs, partying. After the loss of a friend due to a DUI related accident, we turned our lives around.
We went to marriage counseling to adust to our newly changed lives and to also make sure that we knew what marriage was all about. We learned a lot about each other. I remember one week, our counselor (who is the associate pastor in our church) had us go home and list ten things we loved about the other person...to really search within ourselves to find the answer. We weren't to show the other our answers, and at our next session, we read our answers aloud. It was amazing to hear my husband stating reasons that he loved me and why he was wanting to marry me. It is a memory I will cherish forever.
We also dealt with things we didn't like about each other, opposite views on things, and just really got to know each other on such a deeper level.
I know that we went to counseling for a different reason than what you are considering, but my parents also went as well. They have been married for almost 30 years, and had to go to work out some differences. They also had a very positive experience.
I highly recommend it. It is a great way to find out things about the other, and to have a neutral person who won't judge you help work out solutions to problems you may be having.
I wish you good luck, and hope I helped!
2007-10-08 00:36:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
We had one counselor who was actually making things worse. But then we tried a new counselor who doesn't let us say bad things about one another, but only tells us how to become friends. And it's doing wonders! We've never been happier. We do have our moments where we digress, but we've only been going to this person for a few months. So I can't expect miracles. But I highly suggest it. And if you're separated, why not? You have nothing to lose at this point. Just make sure things are getting better, and if not, find a new counselor until they do. Not all counselors are good. Good luck!
2007-10-08 00:35:25 · answer #4 · answered by trapeze 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I didn't have a good result from the two marriage counselors we saw, but that doesn't mean that there aren't good one's out there. Most important though is whether or not your husband is decided about his committment to you and a willingness to work on problems. If he doesn't know what he wants, then I don't know if a counselor can help. Your husband will likely say what he knows he should say to the counselor, but it might not be what he really feels. What is your husband so unhappy about?
2007-10-08 00:42:17 · answer #5 · answered by lillybreeze 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
HELL NO! Not for me, LOL ! But, I do believe that some couples really do benefit. Best wishes and good luck, either way.
2007-10-08 00:34:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
some it works for but many it dont i hope it does for you really i found out there.s a difference in people and why they went there to start with again i hope it does for you.2. really. my honest opion?
2007-10-08 01:23:00 · answer #7 · answered by the_silverfoxx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it worked for us.. we only went a few times but we worked things out. be sure to get a good one.. ask around or ask your dr about one they would recommend. good luck
2007-10-08 00:34:26 · answer #8 · answered by Kat 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋