I dated a man about 12 years ago who I fell head over hills in love with. We were together for about 7 years...off and on. The circumstances were never right for us to get married or to stay together for an extended period of time. But, when I was with him it was the best time of my life. About 5 years ago, I finally tried to call it quits for good. I still loved him, but I knew it would never go anywhere. I met someone else and we got married, but I still have a place in my heart for this other man. He started calling me occassionally about 2 years ago. We haven't seen each other or been together, but when we talk, he tells me that he misses me and wishes we were still together. I would never cheat on my husband, but it breaks my heart a little more each time I talk to him. I know I should change my number or not answer when he calls, but I guess deep down, I miss him too. I don't think I ever got over him. How do I get him out of my heart and mind and focus on my husband?
2007-10-07 17:15:30 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You are cheating and hurting yourself by continuing to talk to him and let him play with your emotions. It's like pulling a scab off a wound everytime it tries to heal. Think about how stupid that is and resolve to move on before you damage your marrage.
2007-10-07 17:29:40 · answer #1 · answered by notyou311 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I feel sorry for your husband.
With that being said, you need to let this man know that you are now married, he didn't want you when he had multiple opportunities, and he needs to get on with his life and stay out of yours. Let him know that you do not want to speak to him again.
You say you miss him...What do you miss? You also say that the circumstances weren't right for you to get married. If you truly loved each other and it was meant ot be, you would be together. The truth of the matter is that you are not together, you are with someone else, and it is extremely unfair to the man that you married to continue on like this.
Cut off all contact with this man and get yourself some counseling. Work through the issues you have and focus on your husband. Your husband deserves to have a loving wife who devotes her heart completely to him and ONLY him.
2007-10-08 00:29:17 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Seven years is too long in someones life.
Somehow, you 2 had many chances to continue but it came to an end after a stormy long relationship.
This other guy seems to have no morals and keeps bugging you even though he knows you are no more available (and maybe even more attractive to him now?)
Whatever the case is, you have to let your past be behind you and focus on people you love and deserve your love and attention.
That door is closed for good now, let a small part of you think form time to time and count your blessings that you are out of that stormy relationship and with a husband who makes you happy.
And you lived happily ever after.
End of story
2007-10-08 00:31:19 · answer #3 · answered by The_last_Amazona 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't really love you. If he did, he would let you go. Don't talk to him any more. The only thing you're getting out of that relationship is that it feels good to hear him say he loves you. But know in your heart, that you are worth loving. And don't rely on him to validate that. Your husband is the one who has been with you through all the good and bad times. Not this other guy.
2007-10-08 00:24:16 · answer #4 · answered by trapeze 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Stop taking his calls and cut off all communication. If you were meant to have a relationship with this man, you would have one. Obviously something has kept you from it. Get counseling, you need to find out why you are so self destructive.
2007-10-08 00:20:58 · answer #5 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Quit talking to that guy immediately. It's highly toxic to your marriage. This is especially a bad thing to do if you have kids, and you are putting their happiness at risk here. The old boyfriend had his chance, he blew it. Life goes on. Don't screw up here.
Kent in SD
2007-10-08 01:02:34 · answer #6 · answered by duckgrabber 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
it very simple you need to deal with the present not the past.
he was playing game regardless of what was going on, it
over let it be . and focus on the love of a good man and
leave him where he need to be in the past.
2007-10-08 00:21:43 · answer #7 · answered by luckystar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you were addicted to him......your relationship with him is sick........he is your fantasy....you are living in the reality of your life......let it go....you miss what might have been what could have been ...you miss what you have dreamed you missed......in reality...you have missed nothing......love and hug and snuggle your hubby!
2007-10-08 00:20:23 · answer #8 · answered by abc 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋