Help? I dont want to end my marriage over childish bull!?

Question

If their is a topic that i am very serious about: example: (My husband who still emails his ex highschool sweetheart. who he claims he will always love forever.. and it was SO serious..blah blah) How do i let him know it bothers me so much!? I dont want to say choose me or her because im afraid he will say ok good bye! I dont know what to say to him to let him know i mean business!? Any suggestions?

- Sorry if this question might be confusing but its really a loooong story to type. I feel this good end our marriage one day and he has no idea this is such a big problem!

Answer 1

Hi friend,
I think the simplest way is always the most effective solution. Tell your husband what you're telling us right now. Definitely it's better than repressing all the worries. But tell it to him without being confrontational. Assure him that you understand his affection for his ex & that you're not putting him in a position of choosing "either you or her". But let him know that as much as you understand him, he has to understand that you're hurt & jealous as well (which is only natural, you being the wife). He needs to know the truth & nothing less. Then continue to be the loving, caring & devoted wife that you've always been. Honestly after you do all these, it's out of your hands now. But atleast this way, you have a much much better chance to preserve your marriage than let's say throwing jealous fits or tantrums.

Answer 2

is marriage going to end? With the next generation. Since the children of today do not take marriage seriously, is the marriage going to become no existent ? I have seen the divorce rate grow over the past few years, and I have noticed that the new generation seams to be infatuated with the cheating and multiple partners. Does this mean that marriage is now gone and that the family is now going to be non existent? Is this signs of the end of the world? Ors it just childish rebellion and they will realize that it will become a lonely life in there aged years ? brickie If we base it in your observation, then marriage will be lost also the values of the family. But even though how big is the percentage of evil over that of good in this world, there will always be a good. I call marriage divorce or of any kind that destroy marriage evil because it will destroy also the family and the young of the next generation. The good family is where the good values are formed. So destroying the family then the good value are also destroyed. As the Chinese Philosophy said there will be no bad without the existence of good. The two are always hand in hand. So as my conclusion I may say that although divorce is growing more stronger but it will never eradicate or eliminate the people who believe in marriage and stay married all though out there lives.. End of the World? I don't know!! Perhaps the beginning of the end. hope this enlighten Remember that Jesus loves you. Know Him in His words the Bible. God Bless Lim♥E

Answer 3

He is doing it because he knows he has you wrapped around his little finger and he can do what he wants your not going anywhere. Your husband does not respect you enough to care what you think and you are letting him get away with it. I have been married 28 ahalf years not to mention the two years we were together before we were married. 31 years with my husband so i think i have learned a thing or two about marriage so what i say to you I'm only trying to help. In order to get your husband to take you serious you are going to need to put your foot down. You think your husband would tell you to leave and mean it, no way if he every said that to you and you started for the door he would stop you so fast. You need to stop being so afraid of losing him,he knows this and is using it against you. Tell him sense it's ok for him to text his ex girlfriend you have been texting your ex watch what he does. He might act like he don't care and bring it up in talking and say,so you been talking to your ex,you can come back with well so have you. Take it from there and get everything you have been feeling out in the open tell him how hurt you been by his uncaring behavior.

Answer 4

How much faith do you have in your husband if you can't even express yourself without worrying about him leaving you.?! you have to be able to express your thoughts and feelings. A normal person with any kind of common sense should know keepin in touch with an ex will somehow affect the current person in your life and I am sure he knows that but because you are not saying anything, he's just gonna roll with it. Approach him in a relaxed and gentle way and explain to him that it affects you and hurts your feelings but don't accuse him of anything and see what he says. If he disregard your feelings and keep that up, that pretty much tells you how much he cares and if you are going to be so scared of losing him to the point you are willing to put up with it that's on you but you wont be happy and in the long run u will get a divorce! Just talk and see. I hope that he wont be stupid enough to let you go over an ex!

Answer 5

I dont know the entire story but just reading your example about how your afraid he will say bye bye if you tell him you are not comfortable emailing his ex love is very wrong to me, if you loves you then he should not be able to say bye so easy, especially over someone he is emailing, especially an ex, something is wrong there. I would sit down with him and tell him that you dont want your marriage to end but there are a few things that a really bothering you and you would really like to talk about them. Just tell him what is bothering you, but I guess say it in a nice way, not a fighting way and make sure to tell him you love him and you want to be in the marriage and dont want anything to ruin it. I would for sure though confront him about talking to an ex love, that would just kill me, I would not let that happen, you dont have to say choose me or her but just let him know that you are very upset and offended over it and that you are his wife now and how would he like it if you started to talk to an ex boyfriend all the time and see what he says.
If he is not willing to talk things through or willing to stop emailing the girl, then just let him know that its effecting your marriage and how you feel about him
good luck

Answer 6

Jeez! He TELLS you he'll always love another woman?? What kinda junk is that?! Honestly sweetie, don't take that lying down. You have the right to feel that way, and there's nothing wrong with it. Straight up tell him that it really bothers you. I'm pretty vocal when it comes to other chicks to my husband, so he knows what crosses the line. It actually HELPS the situation. He married YOU, so he should eb able to let go of some high school puppy-love crap.

I promise, telling him you're not comfortable with it gwill help. Keeping it quiet and letting your negative feelings bottled up will do more damage later on.

Answer 7

First of all for future reference if something bothers you nip it in the bud. This is why. If you say something now and it has been "ok" for a while he is not going to understand. However, you can't live like this and if he is soooo in love with her then that is where he needs to be. Anytime you give an ultimatum you need to make 100% sure that you are going to be ok with the outcome regardless of what it is. In that respect you clearly are not , so that was a smart move not to give it. He does need to realize that it is not fair to you. You are his wife and you should not have to share his heart with ANYONE. He needs to let that go. If he was still this hung up on his ex he should have never married you. Basically you are getting short changed and you have to decide if you can live with it or not. If not (and there is no shame in that) then you need to move on. You deserve better than what your getting.

Answer 8

Just be honest! Maybe just tell him that you feel uncomfortable when he emails his high school sweetheart and it just not seem right for him to be doing so. Tell him that even though you guys are married it still makes you feel as though he might have feelings for her because he has said so. and see where that takes you just don't get into an argument about it it is not worth it. If he really loves he will hear what you are saying. Good luck

Answer 9

I wouldn't let it go too far with out telling his exactly how you feel and what you think about it. I would tell my husband, we all have problems, mine is with a lunatic ex wife who keeps interfering...however he knows that if he started emailing a woman, calling a woman or had feelings like this for another woman that I wouldn't want to spend my life in that situation. I wouldn't and he would have the ultimatum because I know I am worth more than that. I am sure that you are also. Treat yourself the way you treat others, if someone were being mean to your husband - wouldn't you stand up for him. Communicating with this woman is hurting you, stand up for yourself.

Answer 10

well first he should show you more respect than that.. i would let him know that him talking to her all the time or anytime bothers you and you would like him to stop.. and if he does say no well then you know where you stand in the marriage.. and that is alone. even if your afraid he will say that you surely dont want a man that wants someone else do you.. asking him should let him know how you stand on this and you will know how he stands on it..thats when you have to make the dicision about what to do.. good luck and you can do this...