She says she's a success and has made something of herself because she has a husband and kids. I wonder if it's worth being her friend anymore. I hate the put-downs! She assumes I'm jealous of her, when I'm not. When I say I feel like a failure, talking about ny job, she says condescendingly, "Don't worry, you'll find a husband someday." ARGHHH!!!!When I have a date, she says, "Maybe you'll wear him down, and get married." What to do?
2007-10-07 16:53:40 · 13 answers · asked by Robin 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
She is not a friend that you need in your life. With friends like her, who needs enemys? I'm also single and feel like I have the world by the ...! Adopt a child if you want one, you don't need a whiny man. Believe me, she is so d... jealous it's funny. You are the Queen of free life, make sure you enjoy yourself daily as I do!
2007-10-07 17:24:35 · answer #1 · answered by loveyouoshinystar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Robin,
I always believe that a "showboat" is an insecured person. A person who always have to remind himself how good he is because deep inside he's still not convinced. The real good ones need not announce anything. The same goes to those person who announce to others "how happy he/she is". Hey, for all you know, she might be having problems at home (her marriage) or at her work. And only by putting you down can she restore some of her confidence back. Don't be deceived by her false show of "success & happiness". Remember the real successful ones & happy ones need not say them at all. You could see them by the way they carry themselves. Hey, I think it's about time she knows what you feel. Why not tell her straight up?? You'll definitely feel better releasing this pent up anger within you. Also you let her know how you really feel. She might put a cool front, but when she goes to bed at night, all those words you said will ring in her ears.
2007-10-07 17:07:58 · answer #2 · answered by BERNARD C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps she rags on you so because she admires you for being what she wishes she could be. Single and loving it. You will decide when the time is right for you to settle down so don't let her comments make you second guess yourself. The next time she says something maybe you could politely say you know just because marriage seems like the perfect plan for you I am not ready to make that commitment but when I do you will definitely be the first to know. Good luck.
2007-10-07 17:18:47 · answer #3 · answered by carrie h 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell her that you do not need a husband and children to be somebody. Tell her that you are somebody. When she says that you will find a husband someday ask her what that has to do with your job. If she says that you will wear your date down ask her if that is what she did. Sometimes you have to be blunt to people. If your remarks do not work just flat out ask her what her problem is. If she continues to put you down it might be easier to get rid of her. Maybe she is jealous of you.
2007-10-07 17:42:00 · answer #4 · answered by kim h 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, listen to what everyone has said here. This friend is insecure. If she was happy with her life, she'd be happy for you, no matter what you chose to do with your life. This woman is envious of you. And you don't need this negative feedback in your life. A good friend supports you and makes you feel good about yourself. I'd try to lessen how much you talk to her, and if you can, get rid of her altogether. But that's sometimes easier said than done. But if you keep her, just remember where her negative remarks come from.
2007-10-07 17:27:30 · answer #5 · answered by trapeze 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her openly and honestly about how she makes you feel when she makes such statements. let her know that you want to take your time when it comes to such a serious lifelong commitment, and that you do not appreciate feeling pressured or her condescending statements. And that worth and value are not solely found in marriage/ parenthood. let her know that you value her as a friend, but if she cannot reciprocate then the friendship cannot continue- however if you say the last statement follow through.
I do agree with another poster who said that her life may not be as perfect or blissfully happy as she portrays.
Best wishes!
2007-10-07 17:33:38 · answer #6 · answered by rmdybles30 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your married friend is jealous that they have NO restrictions and you dont have to answer to anyone every day all day. good for you get married when you are ready and enjoy this time to yourself. you need to stop saying negative stuff to her what do you expect for her to say if you are being negative about yourself what do you expect from her. misery love company. stop being so negative. be more positive and more positive things will happen. and if she dont stop than tell her to be quiet cause her happy husband is probably having an affair with the receptionist : ) joking. stand up for yourself or stop spending so much time with her and get a life. GodBless
2007-10-07 17:07:29 · answer #7 · answered by Crystal G 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how insensitive! omg....what good is a friend if they can't provide a postive ear for you to vent. i'm happily married and yes i would like all my bitter single female friends to be as happily married as i am. but not like that! having a husband doesn't make the whole world easier. in fact it's way easier being single. there's only one person you have to make happy. when you are married, you have to make everyone around you happy which is alot harder then it sounds, so yes, being married is wonderful, but it's a hell of a lot harder then being single. it's a happy hard...don't get me wrong. just take her comments with a few grains of salt. sometimes when us women aren't as happy as we try to come off....we have a tendency to rub our "happiness" in everyone's faces to justify ourselves.
2007-10-07 17:46:39 · answer #8 · answered by Isabella S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not much of a friend - sounds like she needs to put others down in order to feel better about herself. Rooted in her own insecurities.
Dump her and move on with your life - you don't deserve to be stuck with her self-loathing.
2007-10-07 17:41:05 · answer #9 · answered by Nandina (Bunny Slipper Goddess) 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps she is envious of your liberal and free lifestyle because the reality is marriage at times has a way of robbing one of their personalities, smiles and laughters. freedom and even happinness.........
When you eventually meet the right guy for you, she will do everything to discourage you from him and will even get to him to tell him what a mess you are or would be as a wife or g/f........From experience, she is not a friend, loosen yourself from her
2007-10-07 17:08:20 · answer #10 · answered by lavagal.com 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋