After 23 yrs. of marriage, doesn't my husband owe me more than rent money, before our court date.?

Question

I was married for 23 yrs. I was a stay at home mom.When things went bad we decided to divorce.
My husband and I own a business since 1995. Our house was his families for 90 yrs. My husband contacted a lawyer be for he talked to me. When he came home, he told me I had to move. He also said that I have no rights when it comes to the business. I was a " Silent Partner". He claims that the only thing he has to do is pay my rent. It's been 8 mo. We still haven't had a court date. His lawyer keeps changing the dates. He has given me a few bucks here and there.
I suffer from bi-polar. I can't afford the meds. Now I am at the bottom of the biggest hole ever. Some days I can't even get out of bed. Then there are the days I wish I was dead. He keeps telling me to get a job. I've explained to him that I can't funtion enough to hold down a job.
Doesn't he owe me more than that. I worked 23 yrs, 24/7. We had four kids together. I did everything for him. I need help in so many ways.

Answer 1

you need a good lawyer. After 23 years half of everything in that marriage is yours. That includes the business and the house. If he won't sell the house and split the profits then he needs to pay you out. He can't kick you out without a court order and you need a court order to stop him from liquifying everything before you go to court. If you don't have a good lawyer go to legal aid they can appoint you one. When you finally go to court ask the judge about him paying the costs of your fees, since he was the breadwinner. If divorce was a mutual decision this may not work but its worth a shot.

Answer 2

So, this is pretty much how my marriage is too. I've been married 18 years and my husband hasn't been a part of the relationship for 17 years. He says he's perfectly happy living in a non-marriage. He gets his needs met, he does all the same activities that he did before we married, what's not to like? But as women, we want more from a marriage, i.e.: an actual relationship with our partner. I've thought a lot about this and consulted a marriage counselor on my own, and here's the deal. You need to make up your mind about what YOU want. If you leave the marriage, you may lose your financial security but you may gain a whole new and happy life. It's not too late. You could start by getting a job, which will boost your confidence and give you your own life. Then consult a lawyer to find out how much of the marital assets you'll get if you divorce or legally separate. Hopefully you have some good friends; spend time w/ them, go out, have some fun. Enjoy your hobbies and creative outlets. Make your life as full as possible with things you enjoy. Then you'll be in a position to tell your husband that either things change, or the marriage is over. Do it without bitterness, just say that you both deserve to live a happy life, and you're not happy in the marriage. Give him a list of exactly what it would take to make you stay (for example, you might say,: I want you (husband) to say hello to me when you come home, I want to share an activity w/ you once a month (play golf, go to a movie, go dancing, whatever), I want to go on one vacation and one weekend away together every year, I want you to discuss major decisions with me before acting on them). If he's not willing to engage, then you have to accept that nothing will change and it's time to re-start your life. Think of it as an opportunity. It's scary but you don't want to look back in another 15 years and regret wasting those precious years of your life. Good luck.

Answer 3

I don't know what lawyer he went to see, but you own half of anything you guys owned, business included, unless it was his inheritance. You can't touch his inheritance. The house is pretty much his since it was passed to him by family. But you own half of everything else not family-related. He owes you alimony and child support, if your kids are young enough to get it. And he owes you half of everything you guys owned. Get a lawyer of your own; most lawyers will do a consultation visit for free. Talk to divorced friends and go to one of their lawyers, the one who got them the best deal. And make sure the divorce makes your husband pay the legal fees as well as the other things he owes you. If necessary, take a lump sum that's half of everything, plus alimony for the rest of your life. That way you won't have to be in contact with him for any reason, and even if you marry again, you'll already have the money. Don't let him fool you; you get half, plus alimony, plus legal fees. Trust me. I have been through this twice.

Answer 4

Seems to me that you've never had a job & never wanted one - still don't!

Hubby ran the business & has been doing all the work. No wonder he is getting fed up & wants out.

Some women mistakenly think that just because they've had kids or been a housewife means that they don't have to contribute anything else towards a relationship. Then they want to screw the guy for as much as they can when they separate - when men finally achieve equality with women, men will be far better off.

Answer 5

You have several good answers here but one thing you need to consider. He keeps changing the date because you haven't hired an attorney and responded to the petition for dissolution of marriage, if this is truly the case the divorce will be granted in his favor and he will get everything. he is betting on your health issues to overwhelm you and walk away Scot free.

Answer 6

first of all, get your own lawyer, so that you are protected, because you can get alimony, part of the business, etc if you have a good lawyer.

For your meds and everything, you need to go to the welfare office and sign up for medicaid, that will cover your therapy sessions and meds, and can sign up for food stamps at the same time, so that you can eat.

Get everything you can in the divorce. You are right. you worked 24/7 while the kids were at home. Even if its something you don't need, take whatever you can get, because if all else fails, possesions can be sold for money to get the things you need.

Answer 7

you need to get an attorney as soon as possible. what you get depends upon the state you live in but you may end up with half of all he has and the house as well. The only reason he has been able to get the court dates changes is because you don't have an attorney to fight for you but once you do your life will suddenly be much better, I; assure you.

Answer 8

So have you not gotten your own job now that you have chosen not to keep your vows? If you are divorcing him, why does he owe you anything? He paid your rent, utilities, food, maintenance, clothes,...everything, for 23 years. Why do you think he still owes you something now that you do not want to be part of his life? Are you going to go over to his house to clean it and cook dinner for him?

Answer 9

Take him to court, get alimony, and yes, you get half his business.

The biggest court settlement in a divorce case in Chicago this summer, was when a wife divorced her husband after 30 years, they came to this country together with $50 to their name.. she was a housewife.. while her husband built a multimillion dollar business.

They divorced, and she got awrded the biggest settlement in divorce history.. 180 million dollars, and she never worked, except being a fulltime mom and taking care of life's issues. (I'm not saying thats not a fulltime job, but what im saying is that you're entitled to part of his business regardless of what he is feeding you).

Answer 10

**** yeah! You better believe he owes You!!! GIRL you better get educated about what your state permits- I know for sure in wisconsin you get HALF!!!!! Dont just take their word for it....