Should I tell my parents, who are pastors, that I think I'm a lesbian?

Question

The thing is, is that if I do and people find out it makes my dad look bad. People don't seem to understand that pastor's children are human too. I'm 15, and my whole life they tried to shelter me from the world. I don't know how my parents would react to this.

Answer 1

15 is still young. Talking with your parents may or may not be helpful to you or upsetting to them.

Here are some resources, on Coming Out to parents, and on religious/faith communities and being gay.

Talking to them, when, not talking to them, are all decisions you have to make yourself, and there is no certain right answer. Best wishes.

Answer 2

Only you can decide to tell them or not. you are right in the fact that you have way to much pressure on you because they are both pastors. It is unfair though to deny or hide your true self just because they may get some looks from their congregation. They are old enough to handle this though so do not worry.

As for your parents maybe ask them what their views on gay people are casually as this way you will see their possible reaction to you telling them. Also maybe check out this site before you speak to them if thats what you decide to do. http://christiangays.com it has great stuff and even a section on you think its wrong that explains all those bible verses used against gay people and how they are mis interpreted.

Answer 3

While you may love your parents and wish to be honest with them, it is understandable that you are afraid they will not accept your decision. Since you are 15 and still have a lot of self-discovery ahead of you, it is best to be honest with yourself first. Eventually you will be independent and can live the lifestyle you choose. Wait until you are motivated to tell them because you want to share the details of your life rather than guilt. Once you have that conversation your parents will never forget it, better to wait and be certain.

Answer 4

If i were you I would wait before I told them...Wait untill you are out from under their roof...Because i made the mistake of telling my mother i was bisexual....and she bitched me out for hours, shes dealing with it better now though...My girlfriend and I get to go out now too...

I guess it depends mostly on how well your parents can handle the shock of their child not-being the way they wanted them to be....I donno..

Do what you think is right...and things will fall into place :)

Email me or something if you want to talk about it, mkay

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Answer 5

At 15 you have not had much chance to experience your own sexuality, love, relationships, etc. I would wait until you're older to be sure. No sense causing them all kinds of upset when it might not be true. Lots of girls experiment and play around with each other. It may not mean that a man can never excite you.

Answer 6

You know their politics better than anyone right. if they are understanding people then you should tell them but you should figure it out for sue in my opinion, that way you'll know. But really its no ones business but your own.

I mean look at Vice president Dick Cheney's daughter, she's a lesbian and even though he hates all gay people he still loves and supports his daughter, weird huh?

Answer 7

How long have you been thinking this? If it is under a year I say no. Lots of people are curious/ and or confused at your age. Wait until you are reasonably sure about your feelings for a year.

Answer 8

I would first broach the topic with your mother. (mothers tend to be more lenient). Dont directly tell her you are gay ask her what she would think if one of her children are gay - if you are an only child ask her how she would react if one of her siblings were gay ... This will give you a general view of how your mother would react ... more than likely your mother would discuss it with your father. With time they will figure out that you are a lesbian - no need to shove the topic on them when they can figure it out theirselves (and from my experience with my mother and father it is easier when one finds out on their own than when you tell them, i told my father and he went crazy, he never told my mother though and when she found out she was just like - still my son arent you?)

Answer 9

Nope. You have nothing to gain from it and everything to lose. What are you going to accomplish by telling them something you know will cause problems? Not a thing.

Answer 10

you should just be open with them, they should understand as your parents that you're questioning your sexuality and wanted to tell them how you feel and not lie to them. yeah they won't be ECSTATIC, but from experience being up front with them, and explaining yourself fully before letting them respond goes a long way. try telling them that you need to talk and they really need to listen to you for awhile and not interrupt. or write a letter.