to respect diversity and others no matter of their orientation that all changed. Before this change in thinking my friends and I used to make fun of this girl who we thought was less femme than us. We started to hate up on her and make super bad comments about her as a dike. The sad part was this girl thought we were her friends so she would try to hang out with us. We would all decide to not pick up her phone calls and not invite her anywhere. This girl ended up going to college with us and our behavior continued. I realized what I was doing was wrong but i went with the crowd. Occasionally i would hang out with her and one night i invited her to sleep over. At that time she hinted that she was not straight. She didnt confess but said stuff that strongly supported her gay orientation. She also said that she loved having me as a friend and i was one of the few ppl that understood her. This made me feel guilty and i was kind grossed out. I told my friends the next day and they of course
2007-10-07 15:30:51 · 9 answers · asked by Sappho's Nymph 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
expressed their disgust about this girl. Later on I felt that I should never told them. Anyways they convinced me to make this girl confess her orientation openly. I strongly believe this girl is not straight because she really implied it when we were talking that night. I tried to get this girl to confess but along the way I realized what an amazing person she was. She really cares about me and is always looking out for me. One time I joked around and told her it was ok if I died because after all I was just 1 person. She got pissed at this statement and took a long time to calm down.Now we hang out but I have to ditch her when Im w/ my friends. I quietly meet her in the library and we share our silent moments together enjoying each other’s company. When I was with her y-day, I just wanted to hold her and kiss her neck. But I couldn’t do it because she thinks Im straight and I didn’t know for sure if she would like it. I really like her more than normal & I drive myself crazy thinking
2007-10-07 15:32:03 · update #1
about her. Its weird how I used to hate on this girl but now I feel that I cant live a day without her crossing my mind. I had crushes on guys b4 but they dont compare to what I have for her. I want to invite her to sleep over in my bed one night & make <3 to her but I dunno how she’ll react. What should I do about this situation? Am I crazy? Am I betraying her?
2007-10-07 15:32:35 · update #2
**** I dont know if this girl is not straight for sure but there is strong evidence that she might not be straight.
2007-10-07 15:35:04 · update #3
It may seem that i dont care about this girl but i really do now. Its hard to see that despite all the past damage i've done but i do care for her. People do change.
2007-10-07 16:02:02 · update #4
I'm a virgin and a freshman in college.
2007-10-07 16:05:03 · update #5
First of all, chalk up all this previous silliness to immaturity. Many of us did things which were mean and two-faced when we were younger. It's nothing to be proud of, but it's past history and we learn from it and move forward.
The reason you were so mean to this girl is because you were fighting the same-sex attraction within yourself. I did the same kind of thing before I really admitted completely that I was gay and came out.
What matters is now. Start with this moment. She cares about you and you care about her. At some point, you have to stop worrying about what others think. If you care for this girl, tell her. Write her or tell her in person. Let her know how you feel. Then see what happens. See if it develops into true love between the two of you.
In life, the chances for real love are few. It gets harder as you get older. If you care about her and she cares about you, go for it. Stop worrying what others think. Grab the chance for love. At the end of your life, the only regrets you will have are the things you did not do.
Good luck and God bless you.
2007-10-07 15:41:48 · answer #1 · answered by Michael B - Prop. 8 Repealed! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to lose a good friend over what the 'in' crowd thinks is right then you are not only wrong, you are ignorant. You could be the first to break the hatred you know - just the next time they say something about it say something like "is it really that bad?" and hold your ground. You dont have to admit that you have an attraction to her and you dont have to stick up for her. If they abandon you because of this you know they werent your real friends after all. Also, you already betrayed this girl - she told you something in confidence and you went to a group that you knew suspected her sexuality and did not support her and shared her secret with them. That makes you even lower than your friends. You need to decide now what you want to stand for - bigotry, hatred, and homophobia or love, caring, and acceptance - be aware that this decision you will have to live with for the rest of your life - you might lose 10 - 20 friends but you will gain many friends for making your stance - and if they accuse you of being a lesbian you can always openly deny it. Do not lose a friend because you feel that you have to live up to your other friends standards - that is highschool drama. Grow up and become an individual.
2007-10-07 22:41:55 · answer #2 · answered by Mr. Nobody 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everything you have said and done to that poor girl, your "friend", could be done to you; how would you feel? Are you ashamed? Are you responsible enough to really change and compensate for apparent years of hypocrasy and cruelty?
If you are sexually attracted to someone of your own gender you are at least bi-curious. But whether you are bi-curious, bi, or lesbian, that doesn't mean your friend or any lesbian or bi woman has to indulge your curiousity. Sex between people is not masturbating with a live human sex toy; there is another person there, not just you.
She may really just love you as a friend, even if she is a dyke. Can you handle that?
I suggest you talk with a therapist, your guilt, love, embarrassment, lust all seem mixed up together; before you hurt yourself or her or someone, learn about yourself. Honesty and taking responsibility for oneself may be hard - but it is truly admirable, and worth it.
2007-10-07 22:42:10 · answer #3 · answered by SC 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your behaviour towards her was digusting, I used to be like you, ***** about lesbains but I NEVER bullied one. BUT you changed and realised it's wrong, you need to be stronger now! your in college, not high school and remember freinds come and go. You can make new freinds and do you really want bullies as your freinds? even more so if you grown up and realised it's wrong and pathetic?
On the girl, find out if she's gay. You must do that first, maybe even try and kiss her, do you two drink together? pretend your drunk/tipsy and kiss her, if she respounds its all good, if not blame it on the alchol.
2007-10-08 06:22:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yea, I saw a TV show where this couple was hiring a young lady to watch their home while they were on vacation. They told the girl they were going to spend some time with a tribe on a south pacific island to practice cannibalism with them
She said what other people did was ok with her, because it was wrong for her to judge others. Imagine that.
2007-10-07 22:40:48 · answer #5 · answered by Dr Jello 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hate the persons actions not the person. Give people a chance or reason to make you hate them
2007-10-07 22:36:29 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Since you somewhat did not ask a question, I will.
Which college did you go to?
2007-10-07 23:56:52 · answer #7 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You obviously didn't learn what a question is in college.
2007-10-07 22:37:46 · answer #8 · answered by Dan 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
go ahead and do it! if you like her, then just go with it... it'll probably work out since she's gay. good luck! =]
i'm glad that you changed btw
2007-10-07 22:38:50 · answer #9 · answered by ☼ kayla ☼ 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋