It's been forever since I've seen my kids, I've written them and sent them presents through the years, I've gotten very little if any response, mostly due to what their mother has taught them, It's been 15 years, what do I do now, walk away, or keep trying? It hurts so much, and I'm so discouraged and tired!!?
2007-10-07 13:44:34 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm sorry, but I didn't mention, my children live in Alaska, I live in Kansas. I don't have the money to go there. I wish I did.
2007-10-07 14:03:30 · update #1
Keep trying , their your kids , she's playing power game's using them as a way to make you suffer , dont let her win , they'll come to you eventually and she'll be the 1 left out in the cold.
How do I know this? my husband's son just came home to him and now wants nothing to do with his mum after he realised we werent the one's causing the pain and that everything she told him was a lie.He's 13.
2007-10-07 13:48:51 · answer #1 · answered by JadeyOz 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry you are going through this. The only thing I can say is to keep trying. Another thing is place an ad in the local paper. Just something like how much you love them and have so much to say if they would only give you a chance. (You shouldn't go into any details about the issue with their mom.) And don't criticize their mom. She has been the one that raised them and it just wouldn't help you any at all. If you can see them please explain that you and their mom have different stories on what happened, but whatever happened, you want to start over with them.
My nephew is going through the same issue. Every year he places a happy birthday ad along with all the holidays.
I think it is so wrong for one parent to discourage their children from having a relationship with the other.
2007-10-07 20:52:07 · answer #2 · answered by Hestia 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would keep trying and be there anytime they need you. one day the kids will come around and see that you really care. if you never give up on them then they will see that you want to be in there life. even though I don't know the whole story. so you my have done something as to make them not want to be apart of your life. this is what has happened to my step kids. and they wish to have nothing to do with there mother after she lied abandoned abused them. and she has tortered them for a year on the phone signed her perental rights off and now is trying to be back in there life. But if you have been there and it realy is your Ex saying things to the kids this is called perental alenation and sometimes it works and sometimes it will back fire on the parent trying this. just keep up right them everyday. call them send them pictures. ask them to come visit in your court orderes you should have been granted visitation and the cost should be split between the parents. good luck.
2007-10-08 03:22:01 · answer #3 · answered by sunshine 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well i think you need to actually go visit your kids. letters and gifts are nice but really don't mean much. 15 years is a long time, from that i must assume your kids are teenagers and thefore are not stupid or unaware. They will see beyond any lies their mother has said IF you are a real presense in their life. if you aren't there how can they know what you are really like. make an effort to physically see your kids at least once a month and you'll get a good reaction.
2007-10-07 20:50:00 · answer #4 · answered by stephanie l 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You have to keep trying. Your kids will know that you love them eventually they will end up resenting HER for keeping them from you. My husband is in the same situation, and hasn't even talked to his kids in over a year (she moved and didn't tell anyone where they went to). I finally found them, now the two oldest want to live with their Dad, and they want nothing to do with the mom except phone calls. My husbands b-day is tomorrow, and he has no idea that I have plane tickets for the kids to come here. I am excited for him. Point is, it has been five years since he left her. In that time, she has done nothing but keep them kids from their father, and NOW they want their dad, and they can't wait to be with him. NEVER GIVE UP these are your kids, and sooner or later they will come around, and they will know that it wasn't you all this time.
GOOD LUCK!!
2007-10-07 20:50:56 · answer #5 · answered by Austins Mom 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Isn't it horribe to go through, and not knowing what to do!? My husband has gone through the same thing. Once his kids started working, that was their excuse for never having time for him anymore. We knew it was their b****y mom turning them against him and so he thought once they were old enough to find out what mom really was like, they would contact him. Nope. They turned out just like her, and since she is the one with more money and material things than us, they still avoid their dad. If he is lucky enough to get ahold of them, they talk fine, but will not make any plans to meet with him. I know it hurts beyond words, but he tries to accept they are adults and have made their own decision. What else can you do except keep sending notes at holidays and birthdays, and let them know your door is always open. Then try to get on with your life, knowing you have tried your best and share your love with someone who appreciates you! AND keep praying for them, that they are safe and happy and someday will open their minds and hearts to you!
2007-10-07 20:58:04 · answer #6 · answered by dawnUSA 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There your children. You should keep trying because you should never give up on your children.
Just prepare yourself for the very real possibility that they have giving up on you for good.
And while you are at it, stop blaming the mother. You know what you did or did not do that has you in this situation. Own up and admit to yourself the reality of your selfish, abusive past. You may never be able to make amends, but that does not mean you should not try and keep trying.
Good luck. i will pray for you.
2007-10-07 20:50:15 · answer #7 · answered by box of rain 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Send ur kids cards and gifts on on special occasions... and be sure ur return address and phone number is in there...
send it certified mail..
so u know they rec'd it.. and if they ever want to contact u they can..
how comes u don't get visitation by the courts..?????
if u haven't been paying ur child support all these years.. that explains it...
2007-10-07 20:50:02 · answer #8 · answered by ♥ Blondie ♥ 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think if you quit it would be worse. You just may end up being one of those parents who get along better with adult children than the younger ones. Its not over just because of the time..you may just need them to be adults to see if from both angles
2007-10-07 20:58:00 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Never stop trying. Try going to see them, keep calling, sending letters. Let them know you want to be part of their lives.
2007-10-07 22:34:54 · answer #10 · answered by lily_siren 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋