divorce senario: my friend has been seperated and in the divorce process for 2 years now. it's coming down to the wire here in a couple of weeks. his lawyer asked her to bring all of her financial papers for the past 2 years. so he just found out she quit her job so she would have $0 income when she got to court. she's trying to take him for everything and he's scared. the saddest thing is when they were married he adopted her daughter (which she had previous and the father didn't stay around). he's taken that responsibility and remained in her life and pays non-court ordered child support for her, $600 a month. i feel bad that he's been so generous and now his ex is trying to take him for everything...have you been through a divorce? if so...how likely is it that he will get "robbed"?
2007-10-07 13:38:41 · 11 answers · asked by Jax 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
she left and came back several times before he changed the locks! now she is shacked up with her new bf which she moved in with right after she left...which caused suspicion of cheating!
2007-10-07 15:12:31 · update #1
That is not how the court works. It doesn't matter if she quit her job. She will be told to find a new one. They are both equally responsible for the children. Iam also going through a divorce, a very ugly one. The courts are there to make sure that no one gets completely screwed, but you als ohave t oremember that there are always two sides to every break-up. My husband had everyone convinced that he was such a good guy, but the truth was that he didn't pay child support for his kids, never comes to see them, tells everyone how much he hated me but my phone is constantly jammed with voicemails begging me to come back. He's a complete headcase. You shouldn't completely believe anything that either of them says because secretly they want everyone to pick sides and that is just ridiculous. Take everything either of them says and take it about 50% truth.
The courts will figure it all out and no one will get screwed, they make everything as fair as they can.
2007-10-07 13:53:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know it too late for pre-nuptials. He needs to hire a private investigator if she has done some other less desirable things. If there is a biological father in the picture and she had deceived this guy then he may be able to prove fraud.
Depends on the courts where you live. This actually happened to me; however I caught her sleeping with the infants fbiological father after adopting him and was able to prove that they planned this all along. He was a deadbeat and I was making the money; therefore they tried to nail me and did. Even though I had tapes, evidence etc she cried that she could not move out of the house and by the time I was allowed back in after almost a year she had caused 45,000 dollars worth of damage to the house alone. If he has done like most of us then he just wants it to go away. Big news for him he is in a street fight and has gone several rounds and doesn't even know it yet. He is going to have to get tough, grow a set and fight back with every means possible. He can still be involved with the child and contribute but he will be miserable the rest of his life if he doesn't get nasty now.
2007-10-07 20:54:47 · answer #2 · answered by joecool 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The answers depend on the laws of the state the divorce is filed in. Child support is determined by the child support laws of that state, usually a standard method of calculations. He will definitely have to pay child support and most judges take past payments into account. Property distribution depends on if the state is community property or not. Most states divide property equitably, not equally. It might help your friend to look up the divorce laws of his state and do some research. I don't think he will be "robbed" if he is well armed with the information he needs. You did not state the grounds for the divorce, which can be a deciding factor in equitable property distribution as well as alimony/spousal support. Good luck and God bless!!
2007-10-07 21:34:26 · answer #3 · answered by bigmom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he adopted the child, he will have to assume full responsibility which includes applicable support payments, etc. A judge will seldom award much spousal support if any to someone who is an able body.Quitting her job looks contrived and will most likely not sit well with him. If she's seeking spousal support, she would have to be in a situation in which she was in need of some education or training. The purpose of spousal support is to enable the other party to become self-sufficient in a reasonable amount of time. Unless she shut down her lucrative business to raise 16 of his offspring for him over the last 20 years or so, the chances of her getting much of anything are slim. The judge may order spousal support on a temporary basis for her to gain training for a career that would earn her more money, thus proving beneficial for the child. Whomever gets the house also gets the house payment. Whomever gets the furniture gets the furniture payment, etc. Whatever is in the bank (any joint accounts) that has been proven as earned during the marriage is deemed marital gain and is divided equally. Anything brought to the marriage is kept by the original party.
2007-10-07 21:18:36 · answer #4 · answered by MWestbrook 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
That is just the way it is. Men have no rights; they are our slaves. Men don't deserve better because they are so easily lead to the slaughter.
He adopted her so it is an open and shut case that he will pay child support. The fact that the wife connived from the beginning to get his money and then divorce him is not relevant to the courts.
The fact that she is not working will not matter much. Child support alone will be 40 to 50 percent of his take home pay and the courts have to leave him enough to live on so they will not award much more whether she is employed or not.
2007-10-07 21:19:28 · answer #5 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sadly, the person who bends over backwards to be fair in a divorce, usually gets the short straw... and get's "robbed". It happened to me... It happened to my current husband...
It's good he found out she dropped her job on purpose to have $0 income. The judge will consider that a strong negative on her side.
Tell him to not be scared, but to make sure the judge knows how she dropped her job to take him to the cleaners.
My husband prepaid all child support. That helped. Then he made his ex mad by setting up savings accounts for the kids with grandma as administrator of them, and mom had NO access to that money and NO SAY in what it was used for. It absolutely went to the kids. Then we put money in it each month.
2007-10-07 21:01:27 · answer #6 · answered by Nedra E 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately for him, the courts (especially in Calif) are very pro women/mothers and anti men/fathers. He's going to get screwed unless he can find a really, really good lawyer who is a shark in the courtroom. I know - I'm going through it all with my husband. His ex, who he left 14 YEARS ago, can't get over the fact that he left her (due to her insane anger & violence), and even though 12 years elasped before he met me, she has tried to make his life a living hell since he met me and got remarried. Actuall she always has, but she stepped it up a bit.
It's common for women to do the "I'm not working and I'm a starving single mom" crap. My husband's ex makes $350,000 a year and STILL does that!!! Even though she lives in a $2 Million house she bought herself recently and owns 2 other fancy homes she gets rent from, plus has a very high paying job in the medical field. She makes way more than my husband and I, but she showed up to court (suing him for yet MORE child support) looking like a bag lady in a torn sweatshirt and old jeans, claiming she was "disabled and earned zero" and the judge believed her!! My husband didn't have a decent lawyer so he got screwed and now we're stuck paying $2000/month in child support, which is driving us to the poorhouse, plus all his daughter's medical & dental. Oh, and the crazy ex poisoned his daughter against him and she hasn't spoken to him in a year and a half except to send emails saying she hates him. My husband is the one who always loved her and spent tons on her. He was the most devoted dad in the world. The courts don't care. They will award everything to your friends ex and your friend is unfortunately very screwed financially until the child turns 18, because he legally adopted her. It's sooooo wrong, but that's the way it is.
2007-10-07 20:55:33 · answer #7 · answered by Wintergirl 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your friend paying child support is a given. The amount will be based on his income not hers. Alimony is not likely, it's harder and harder to get alimony unless there VERY extreme circumstances, like he's a millionare, she gave up her career to raise children etc. Doesn't his lawyer tell him these things?
2007-10-07 20:53:37 · answer #8 · answered by 280320 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
how old is the daughter? maybe she wants to take care of her , maybe it has nothing to do with him. if he was so great why are they getting divorce?
2007-10-07 20:47:24 · answer #9 · answered by calm 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunatly it is very likely. Sorry but woman usually get everything even when they deserve nothing. God this subject makes me mad.
2007-10-07 21:01:56 · answer #10 · answered by soxak 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋