2007-10-07 10:15:50 · 9 answers · asked by LUCKY3 6 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Well here goes best answer out the window! My personal definition of "Love" has an sub category. "to care for the esteem of others above, but, not at the expense of my own". You must learn to love your self before you can love others. To relinquish this love just to heighten the love of another, is in my mind, foolish. I will do everything to make my family and friends happy, but, if it destroys me in the process, well, it's just not right. As for my selfless behavior, it's a double edge sword. I get enjoyment in giving others pleasure. (that sounds sexual, but that's not what I am implying!)
2007-10-07 10:53:45 · answer #1 · answered by delux_version 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I used to think that would never be me - but then I had a kid.
Now her needs come before any of my wants for little things that make me happy. SO I work harder to make sure her needs are covered so I can afford the little extras that make my life - and hers- more comfortable and pleasant.
Sometimes finding your own happiness among the everyday goes a long way towards helping create happiness for others, too. Practise finding a zen moment in the simple things life has to offer. Make sure you take time to focus on yourself at least one hour out of the day. And don't let other people's dreams drown out your own. Speak up and let your own voice be heard when there is something going down that isn't right for you. Sometimes it takes compromise to find a balance between what those you love want and what you want. Make sure you are looking at the whole picture and not just the part with you in it. There is nothing wrong with being a strong person who goes out and gets what you want, but you walk a fine line between being strong and being selfish.
2007-10-07 17:42:27 · answer #2 · answered by Insomniac Butterfly 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I understand what you are saying; I have been a people pleaser my whole life and it has about cost me my sanity. I heard a saying once, that one can only be used if one lets himself of herself be used and I believe that is true. I believe that sometimes there are reasons to compromise, but there are some times when one has to put oneself first. I do not know how old you are, but it took me until I was 40 to learn how to stand up for myself and say "No" when I did not want to do something. I always felt as if I said no that the other person or people would not like me, but at this point in my life, I do not care what anyone else thinks about me or what I do. Compromise if there is something good in it for you or if you feel as if you want to do it for the other person, but if it comes to the point where you are not happy, say "No" and do what makes yourself happy.
2007-10-07 18:29:54 · answer #3 · answered by wendywhoosh66 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First determine how much your willing to sacifice. Too much will make you resentful towards that person that you are trying to make happy. Pretty soon you will feel like punishing the ungrateful ingrate.
Everyone makes a little sacrifice for relationships...but too much will just ruin it.
What would I do?? If I feel that I have to give up something that I love, or have to change who I really am, I would just quit the relationship.
2007-10-07 17:39:32 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Depends. Making sacrifices for some people in our lives makes perfect sense. Like children, or elderly parents or other people that cannot care for themselves. Even then, the caregiver needs a "break".
If a spouse or selfish person is making demands upon us and it is affecting our mental health and well-being it is time to take steps to prevent someone from using us.
Good Luck
Peace.
2007-10-07 17:35:26 · answer #5 · answered by -Tequila17 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
In many cases suffer.
In some cases learn to adapt.
In a few cases learn a new happiness I never knew was there.
Everything we know in life could all be wrong.
Or not.
2007-10-07 17:41:07 · answer #6 · answered by LORD Z 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
on the weekend I do the chores and tolerate an interruption every 3 minutes
otherwise its all about my happiness
2007-10-07 17:23:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bail
2007-10-07 17:27:37 · answer #8 · answered by Tonya R 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well hen keeping others happy make you feel happy then you should be happy because their happy
2007-10-07 17:22:26 · answer #9 · answered by usa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋