Me and my fiance have been doing nothing but argue lately because he never wants to spend time with me. He goes to work while I stay home and clean the house and take care of our 10 month old daughter. When he comes home all I want to do is cuddle and spend time with him. But he'd much rather sit and play video games, and by the time he's ready to spend time with me its midnight and I'm getting ready to go to bed. I've been putting up with this for 2 1/2 years now and am fed up. No matter how many times and how many different ways I talk to him about it, he doesn't seem to understand. He thinks that even though he's playing video games as long as we're in the same room, its considered spending time together. I'm on the verge of walking out on him because I'm sick of being deprived of attention and affection and being ignored constantly. But I love and do want to be with him. Please help, what should I do?
2007-10-07 09:51:24 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sometimes men need a wake up call. You may have to take your frustrations to the extreme. Tell him you are no longer engaged and you are leaving him. If he doesn't get it then leave. Video games and t.v. are hard habits to kick. They are addicting. If your threat is not taken seriously you must take it further. I really hope if it comes down to that situation he will have enough sense not to lose a great woman over some dumb games.
Good Luck, Jason G.
2007-10-07 09:57:58 · answer #1 · answered by Jason G. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been with my husband for a total of 15 years. We divorced 10 years ago and ended up marrying again later. He ignores me. He doesn't spend time with me. We sleep in separate rooms. We don't have sex. BUT.. we have 2 teenaged sons. The reason we stay together is for their benefit.
No other man is going to love your child like her real father, so there's no point in leaving him and thinking there will be someone better out there somewhere. There is nobody better than her dad.
Try to learn to be satisfied with the life you have right now. Once your daughter is grown and gone, you can decide if you want to stay with him or not. Right now it's not about you anymore. It's about your little girl.
Trust me. As long as he's just playing video games, and not out running around or beating you, you have a pretty good life. Be content with your life because this is as good as it's ever going to be. Listen to me because...
2007-10-07 17:54:37 · answer #2 · answered by PMS 24-7 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sometimes, a little 'tough love' is the best love of all. For him to be absorbed in a video game is not a good idea of spending time (quality) together even though it's a (quantity) of time. It sounds to me like he has something else on his mind when he comes home from work and wants an escape and uses the video games. Video games are Okay, but in their proper time and proper place, not as a scapegoat.
If he continues to ignore you, tell him you will need to leave. Before he comes home from work someday , put a sticky note or attached message on his video screen: "We need to talk!"
If he ignores that, I think it's high time you found an outlet where you can find a little happiness for yourself and your daughter whether it be an organization within your community, church, club or something
2007-10-07 18:42:14 · answer #3 · answered by Ink Corporate 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your not the only one. I recently been dealing with the same thing but he perfers his computer over video games. He comes home and sits there for a good three hours while I cook and do everything else. And we only "do it" when it suits him best. The best thing i can tell you is do the exact same thing he does. Act like it doesn't annoy you and when he wants to spend time completely do something else. It doesn't bother him as much as you because you are paying attention to him when you have these talks. If you ignore him like he does you he will end just as deprived as you and be willing to compromise.
2007-10-07 17:01:48 · answer #4 · answered by J 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Reality check time!
You do not have one child, you have two- the baby and the father. So now what are you going to do?
You need to begin by facing some unpleasant facts. First, you cannot change him! No matter what you say or do, he will be the same. Change has to come from within.
Now you need to decide if you can marry him the way he is, or not.
Whatever you do, you need to make all your decisions for the next 17 years in the child's best interest.
In the meantime, you need counseling and therapy to discover what it is about yourself that attracted you to a child of a man.
After that issue is settled, feel free to date or marry the father.
If all of this sounds like more than you can handle, invest in getting your tubes tied. We will have a surplus of criminals and strippers in 18 years.
Good luck. I will pray for you all.
2007-10-07 16:59:13 · answer #5 · answered by box of rain 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you have tried to talk to him about it and he doesn't care, it doesn't sound like there is much else that you can do. It also doesn't sound like he is spending much time with your daughter either, if he is playing video games all night.
If you are having these problems now, it will only get worse when you are married. I say maybe give him one more chance and if he still doesn't try to change things get out fast.
2007-10-07 16:55:41 · answer #6 · answered by GoldenButterflyKisses 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ask him if he wants to play video games together.
and when he wants to spend time together your about to go to bed? well have a Vault and stay up with every now and then. plan a family vacation like camping or something where he can't play video games.
2007-10-07 16:58:28 · answer #7 · answered by brianna(: 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Leave him. He'll get sick of playing video games when he's the only one in the room and he'll come crawling back to you. Guys need to be ***** slapped with reality every now and then for them to appreciate what they've got.
2007-10-07 16:55:49 · answer #8 · answered by fatgirlforsale 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unplug his videogame system and hide all of them until he spends a certain amount of time with you, lol. He'll be angry, but I think it'll work.
Either that, or just tell him everything you wrote here, but if he's too busy playing videogames to listen to what you're saying, that might not work.
Ask him what's more important: videogames, or you and his daughter? If it's the first one, leave.
2007-10-07 16:55:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try to sharpen your hidden skills. If you are good at art go for it or if you are good at cooking just make the best dish while he is playing video games. You will not get bored by it. By the time you ll get free from your activity, he will be free from his so you both can share time together.
2007-10-07 17:00:23 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋