I was in a not very nice relationship,i gave my husband so many chances but he never change its all to do with drink,his abusive and violent,last thing he done was still money from my mum when she was here on holidays,he is inside and court is tomorrow one part of me dont want him back,but if he does not serve time and turn up what should i do???????Please help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-10-07 09:42:02 · 16 answers · asked by teresa 68 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The pattern is set. Either you put up with it, or end it. Your choice.
2007-10-07 09:50:03 · answer #1 · answered by Crispy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi,
If he turns up tomorrow you tell him that you need some space from him to think about things as a lot has gone on and too many people hurt and that you all need some time to overcome things.
I love Drivers advice ... change the locks before he due to come out of court and install a panic button to police station if you haven't got one installed already!
In that time really reflect on the relationship ... he has hurt you and now members of your family.
Is this really the happy marriage you dreamt off?!
I feel you should separate personally as you obviously not happy and he isn't making any effort to be a good husband as he being violent.
Good luck!
Lx
2007-10-07 09:49:31 · answer #2 · answered by SunshineApple 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your partners dependency on alcohol will create a multitude of problems.He has to reach out himself for professional treatment.You both have go for guidance and counselling at a family and marriage society.You have quite an explosive relationship which has reached rock bottom...perhaps the biggest is to stay in the relationship with hope that it will get better! At the moment you are a victim but dont become a volunteer in this broken life relationship.Believe in yourself,abilities and strengths to counteract and find the courage to walk away...
2007-10-07 17:44:09 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are worth more than this. Now that he has been inside you have made the break. Nothing can be done unless he wants to do it himself. Dont take any promisses from him, only start to rebuild your relationship if he actually does something about his problems and has proved himself over time. By which time you will most probably see you dont need him and you have a life.
2007-10-07 10:19:50 · answer #4 · answered by Angel F 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
People gave you some really good advice here, follow it.
The only thing I didn't see (missed it?) .... is get yourself a good friend and confidant that's not too far away that you can "dump" on. Someone you can share your fears and concerns with, and won't mind if you have feel you need to come over and talk at odd hours, or to even spend the night.
Don't take advantage of them and wear them out, but you need that support blanket. I don't believe that a hundred of us on yahoo can do the same for you, no matter how much we care.
Hope it all works out well for you.... we're rooting for ya!
2007-10-07 10:04:51 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I will help clear your head for you.
DON'T let a lying, thieving, abusive and violent man back in your home. He is not worth the time, stress or effort.
Don't tell us you still love him, only the foolish say that about a man who has the above tendancies.
Live a better and happier life without him.
2007-10-07 09:49:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call the police if he shows up. But the more important question now is how are you going to heal and deal with all of this?
The answer is you are going to find an Al-Anon meeting. You are going to find a sponsor at that meeting, follow her suggestions and work the steps.
Good luck. I will pray for you.
2007-10-07 09:49:52 · answer #7 · answered by box of rain 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you don't say what he is inside for sweetie? ok first things first. does he own your house? if not then he has no right to enter unless you say he can. even if he does own the house he has no right to enter if he is inside for hitting you. the police are the best people to talk to as they will advise you on your rights. failing that any domestic violence site wil be able to advise you too. please contact them sweetie....you are not alone and people will help. let us know how you get on.
good luck
2007-10-07 09:55:59 · answer #8 · answered by jayne beal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a restraining order(order of protection) and enforce it. First and formost, you must protect yourself from his abuse. Each time he violates the order, you must report him. Good luck
2007-10-07 09:46:35 · answer #9 · answered by WVPV07 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hon, don't waste ur life on some one like this.. U deserve more..
Run.... don't walk...
and don't look back...
u are being abused.. and can't see it... take off the blinders..
good luck...
2007-10-07 09:59:38 · answer #10 · answered by ♥ Blondie ♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋