has anyone been, treated so bad by someone you loved so much,that you no longer trust men,or have a dislike for them,he made me trust him,and he hurt me why do men have to make my life hell.
2007-10-07 09:12:45 · 11 answers · asked by micky 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
my uncel raped me when I was eight,my family covered it up,it happened again so many times after no one seemed to care,left home at 16, then met a guy when i was 22 and he made me feel like i was worth something, then we married the last two years he's beaten me up, im just so torn up.....
2007-10-07 09:21:36 · update #1
im 35, at the moment, and feeling lost
2007-10-07 09:23:45 · update #2
Hopefully this will only happen to you one time and as long as you see the signs you will know when to avoid a relationship....Please don't feel all men are the same as i am sure many men have been hurt by women.....the most important thing is to not see yourself as a victim more a survivor........Look at what went wrong in the relationship and ensure that it doesn't happen again.....It will take a long time to trust someone but it will happen just repair your self esteem and become stronger with the experience as to domestic violence no one should have to suffer at the hands of anyone. If the verbal abuse starts get out of the relationship straight away as you deserve better.....as to your last statement why do men have to make my life hell.....they will if you let them....look at the choices you are making because if this is happening over and over again then i am sorry you may need to look at your behaviour as a starting point....sometimes if you expect someone to be abusive you instigate it to prove your assumptions are correct.....Just enjoy your life and learn to love yourself before getting into another relationship.....
Edit: You cannot change the past but you can the present and future.....If he is beating you contact Womens Aid as they will help you with accomodation and safety.....If you have children for yours and their sakes leave....Women are the great pretenders they think everything will be ok or that they can change the man....they can't and they won't as the abuser is the only one who can stop the abuse.....You may not think it but you are worth so much more. What happened to you as a child you had no control over your family should hang their heads in shame for not protecting you but you must protect yourself. Do not take abuse yes he is probably telling you that you caused it or it was your fault he hit you this is all not true it is his decisions to raise his fists not yours......So when you can get a plan together where you can go...what money you need...If you go to a hostel they will help you get any benefits and advice of solicitors, accomodation etc They can even help with councilling etc.......But please make that break before its to late.....your health and life depends on it and if you have children their lives depend on it....Because don't be fooled they will know what is happeneing...isn't it better to have a happy homelife with 1 parent than a war zone with 2.....
2007-10-07 09:28:56 · answer #1 · answered by valf 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Hun,
(((Big Hugs)))
That is terrible what has happened to you and no one has the right to hurt you like this.
What happened when you were younger is bound to have an affect on you and I feel that you may need some intensive counselling to help you deal with that happened and to get all that emotion and anger out.
Also this marriage you are in is no good ... it harming you and stripping you of who you really are. It taking very ounce of your confidence and making you feel worthless and that no one deserves to be trusted.
I too have been raped ... when I was 18 by a older man whom I thought respected me. I also have been in an abusive relationship so I know how hard it is just to leave and break the cycle but once you do it babe it is the best thing.
You will always have problems trusting ... I did... but now I am happy and free.
You need to leave the relationship you are in ... being alone is scary I know, but it feels tons better than in a marriage where you feel so scared and alone anyhow.
Get onto women's refuge and leave this man...they will protect you.
Please leave this man and grab your freedom and survival.
All the very best and thinking of you
Lx
2007-10-07 09:29:03 · answer #2 · answered by SunshineApple 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
men don't sweetie........you just alowed him to treat you like ****. if he treated you so badly...why did you put up with it. this ain't the 60's babe. you're a modern girlie. grow a spine and some humility. some men are really sweet. believe me hunny...i've been kicked around by all sorts for years but i still have trust in people because most people are pretty moral creatures, men included. don't let one guy colour your judgement on everyone else. pick yourself up and dust yourself off and get back in there. you have your whole life ahead of you sweetie.......smile, be good to yourself and concentrate on you. you are not responsable for others hurting you. if it's deliberate they choose to do it. pity is better than being embittered. my dad has this great saying......every choice in life has a price....life is this big table and you choose what you want to take from it and however your choice intentionally effects some one else you will end up paying for it. if some one hurts you for gain then they will ultimately pay for it some where down the line. i don't know if that's true but hey...it's not a bad way to think huh?
good luck
2007-10-07 09:27:38 · answer #3 · answered by jayne beal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should realy Leave him. If he is beating you up this means your life is in danger. You are the most important person and if you have kids you have to get them out of there. There are many womens shelters you can go to. They will help you get on your feet. And make you feel like the strong woman that you are. What has been happening to you in your life is sin and morally wrong. You are worth more than words miss. Be strong you can do better than this jerk this is wrong have him arrested. I know its hard belive me I know. You can do this. Pull together and get the hell out of there.
2007-10-07 10:40:30 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i know how you feel but you'll never get anywhere if you dont let go and stop letting this loser control your life as that is what he is still doing without you realising it. Get over him and move on hun, there are some nice men out there, or so I'm told lol mines has still to find me!! xx
2007-10-07 09:18:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
unfortunately it's just about been sucked in by wrong people, same boat myself.
Very sorry to hear that, been in similiar situations myself you need to get out of that, there are better out there, have friends who are happy with no abuse. Just unlucky! keep your sanity and gain more confidence in yourself its' hard but you have only one life and you only you have to look after that.
Be strong! Good luck xx
2007-10-07 09:18:08 · answer #6 · answered by Sasha 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No. iv'e been hurt but it does'nt make me distrust all men. Just like when a woman has upset me I don't distrust all women.
Don't judge them all in the same way.
2007-10-07 09:17:33 · answer #7 · answered by Catherine1 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes.
At first by the only guy i thought i could trust - my father. Obviously not.
When I could start getting close to someone, it all fell through. Now I feel i cant trust anyone anymore.
What happened with you?
2007-10-07 09:17:05 · answer #8 · answered by lolwut 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think we all have been through what you are going through right now. Hopefully, you will meet that special guys and overcome these fears. There are a few decent guys out there.
2007-10-07 09:17:24 · answer #9 · answered by Jodi 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, because I know that not every person is the exact same and I don't punish new people with old baggage.
2007-10-07 09:14:58 · answer #10 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋