I think everyone can find something to say to this. Any advice will be most welcome.?

Question

I'm 22, naturally shy and awkward, a hopeless romantic and extremely sensitive. I fell in love and got dumped (it was my fault) and the pain just doesnt go away - even after one year. I still miss him. It's horrible. I cant focus, i've lost my ambition and drive, i'm doing miserably at college (which is a first) and cannot bring myself to care about the future. I hate being on my own at the best of times - now, I cant study because then its just me and my thoughts.
Is this depression? Im sad all the time. Even when i'm with friends laughing!! Should I do something about it? Or should I just wait and see?
There are so many people out there who are struggling and wishing they'd worked harder when the time was right and here I am knowing i'm going to be one of them and still not doing anything about it...
Theoretically, I want to be successful and have a great job. But right now, my emotions have taken over.

Answer 1

Take the time to recognize now that real life and emotional life are two different things. Most humans don't realize this but emotions have nothing to do with the way that the world really is. The world is completely neutral. The world seems so unapologetic and unforgiving because emotions have no innate value! The universe is indifferent because all values are equal in this world. Whether the world blows up or becomes complete Utopia is completely irrelevant and the more we as humans we can come to recognize this the more we can really see what's going on here and what's to be done. You're not wrong for your emotions but you must realize that everything we're going through in life is just our perspective. Emotions are our specific take on a situation. Have you ever thought about life before you met him? How come you were so calm then? How come you were so normal then? Why weren't you depressed then? He made an impact on your perspective, yes. But nothing he is, did it. It was the things that you allowed yourself to think, feel, and believe due to the proof that you thought he gave you. It's the same reason why hypnosis works. And it happens like this with everyone. What you thought objective reality was was what you acted upon. When really no one can do anything to us, but they can cue us to do things to ourselves. No one can embarass us or make us feel good, but rather than can do things that inspire an inclination for us to feel that for ourselves. This is why people can fall in love and yet not have that love reciprocated. The direction of your thoughts determines where you're aiming in this life. This will make sure that you're aiming in the correct direction. I see a lot of questions posted around and many of them are the same. It has to do with a few topics. The first mistake I often see being made is IDEALIZING. This is where people say things must be this way or else "I can't be happy". They won't allow themselves to be happy if a certain situation they feel is ideal is present. Happiness comes from going with the flow of life rather than trying to hold on to any one specific feeling, person, or thing. And the more you can accept and trust in yourself, and find yourself valuable, the more you will not need anything else but yourself, your dreams and ambitions and life work in order to be happy. The steps to refinding your perfection. Starts with one most important step. It's the decision that nothing is more important than that you're happy. When this priority is out of order, you'd see that life would become a very hard and difficult place to be. And many people live life on that level in this day and age, but the point is they need not do so. It usually goes something like this. The decision is made to be happy as first and foremost. Then you're nicer to people, then you make friends, then you get help and contacts and access to people you otherwise wouldn't have, then you're getting more self confident and happier with yourself due to the self-esteem of all these wonderful friends you now have. And now you have the courage to pursue your dreams and turned whatever you enjoy most into your business as a product or maybe a service and now you're getting paid to do what you love to. So basically the pay skyrockets cause you're happy and giving out quality work. You have tons of friends, and somewhere in the midst of all this amazing success, and confidence - which are very attractive traits - you'll probably end up finding the perfect person for you. But you won't need them. You'll have everything you need simply by knowing that the most important thing and best thing for you is to find joy in the natural flow of life. And not to idealize it with your own thoughts and opinions. When you have that, and are doing what you love as your life's work, you'll already have a full time and satisfying job. And everything else will be an added bonus to the wonderful life you now have. And it all starts with the acceptance of what is. Hope has a place in the lover's heart. and I guarantee when you start cheering up and just following the purpose of life. You'll be happy and everything will become right for you.

Answer 2

You aren't alone, i promise you that, but in no way am i calling you pathetic, because to call you pathetic would be to insult myself for feeling the same way that you do at the moment.
How often do you see this person? Cos i try not to see the person that im trying to get over at all nowadays. I'm also getting myself involved in a lot of extra-curricular activites and after school clubs now, to try and take my mind off him, and have some fun instead. I suggest the same for you, just try and get yourself involved in some activities. yes im aware of how clichéd this advice sounds, but keeping yourself busy really does help you.

I hope you feel better soon, i really do, cos i know how painful things can be.
The breakup of the relationship was not your fault, whatever split you up, if he loved you enough and if it was meant to be, then he would have stuck by you in the end.
There is not point obsessing in the past, cos you will always wish that you had done things differently. the thing is, by looking back and wishing that things were different, you will miss your life now. You're obviously a very thoughtful, sensitive person, if you are thinking about this even now, as you blatently feel atleast some guilt if you think that the break-up was your fault. I can also tell from your writing, that, apart from the two attributes just mentioned, you are also very ambitious, and keen to learn, better yourself, and do your best, which is good. the thing is though, you dont need all this abuse from yourself, about how this was your fault (and how anything else was your fault)

You are smart, strong, beautiful and independant. Say it, and say it again until you believe it, cos its the truth. I promise.
Cos guess what? I never lie, and i never break promises.

If you need to talk, email me =)
I promise that I shall listen

Xx

Answer 3

No, I personally dont think that you are depressed. You just had your heart proken, Not a fun thing by any means. What you need to do is own up to your feelings. When you got dumped ( you say it was your fault) it was not. It just wasnt ment to be! You say you want to be successful? Once you are out of college and you have a good job then you are on your own. Is that bad? Absolutely not. Then you are allowing your self to be your own person and do your own things. Whats going to happen then? A great guy *wink* *wink* the one is going to appear in your life and everything is hopelessly romantic! Try to think possitivly and yah I think i watch WAY to many romance movies *sigh* but yah enjoy life!

Answer 4

You have answered your own question > your emotions have taken over > God has given us all emotions > it is our choice how and when to us them they are a good thing if used correctly and that is one of life's lessons along our journey > there is absolutely nothing wrong with you > we all go through things > it is how we finish before the next opportunity arises > we are all conquerors and shall not be defeated as long as we accept Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior > we will know victory > A song comes to mind > through it all we learn to trust in Jesus Christ we learn to trust in God. Much love and peace to you > and remember you are not alone and you are not confused unless you have confused yourself > yet when one read that you are going to college and from that statement lead one to believe you have a handle on things and have not given up > now as we all must do > make as many right choices as possible and learn from the wrong choices made knowing and praying that we will and shall continue and > along life's journey help others as we have been helped by others and by our Triune God.

Answer 5

10. Mad Tea Party (gentle on mom, unless getting dizzy bothers her) 9. Splash Mountain (very scary drop, scared my husband) 8. Soarin' (gentle, unless she is afraid of heights...even then tell a cast member to place on the bottom row and you would be barely off the ground) 7. Space Mountain (not advised to ride, caused my father to stop riding rides at all amusement parks...the dark is what is so bad about it...makes it seem worse than it is) 6. Test Track (fun!!!! not scary) 5. Kali River Rapids (hmm...this is not so scary; just really really wet) 4. Mission: SPACE (ride the tame version) 3. Rock n' Roller Coaster(a big nope...i think it loops or feels like it) 2. Expidition Everest (doesn't go upside down, but has steep drops and goes backwards) 1. Twilight Tower of Terror ( many random drops, your bottom will come up off the seat, probably the scariest of all)

Answer 6

I'm still in love with my highschool sweethart ,, she's married ,, she'll never know I love her but thats Ok she's happy what more could I ask for , she's probably happier then I could have ever made her ,, I may die some day ,, it will be along time from now , years and years ,, If our love was ment to be I'll see her again in heaven , otherwise , I wasn't ment to be with her ,. but I'll find my true love,, there,, in heaven ,,,,!! so I got to get back to work,, catch you later !

Answer 7

yes thats depression.you need to see a doctor before it gets any worse.PLEASE GET TO A DOCTOR ASAP. i'm truly sorry for your loss and what your going thru.

Answer 8

I am not a Dr. but I would say you are most certainly depressed.

Answer 9

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