About 4 months ago i started talking to guy from work. Simple flirting at first and then as we got to know each other better we started to get more serious. We are perfect for eachother in every way...except he has been married for 12 years and I am in the middle of a divorce. We do believe that we were ment for eachother and that we were supossed to meet and fall in love. His wife found out that we were seeing eachother and now we have called it quits. I am completely heart broken, i have never in my life felt the way that i feel for him. He is so torn between she and i. He doesn't know what to do. Let me add that he is in no way leading me on. We are truely in love, but at the same time didnt mean to let things get this far and we didnt intend to hurt anybody. My question is, do we follow our hearts and find a way to be together, or should we deny ourselves this love and move on with our lives?
2007-10-07 06:34:38 · 45 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Have some self respect and some respect for his marriage, and move on, forget about him, get a better life, & realize that a person deserve better than that kind of treatment.
Always complete one relationship, before starting another.
2007-10-07 06:47:41 · answer #1 · answered by nwnativeprincess 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If another woman was to ask this same question about your husband while you were still married, what would your answer be. This "love" he has for you now, I'm quite sure he had (or still has) for his wife when they got married. How did his wife happen to "find" out is beyond me. For someone to be torn between his wife of 12 yrs and his jump off of 4 months is delusional. I say move on, you deserve better. Don't make him your priority when you're just his option. I know you say you love him but try loving yourself a little more.
2007-10-07 06:47:30 · answer #2 · answered by ~So Official~ 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I feel as though he may not leave his wife he has been with her for 12 years that's a long time and you know from experience that divorce is hard and involves a lot of details and patience. Also i think that on a sub-conscience level you only love him like him infatuated with him because its kind of appealing to like or love or want something that you can't have. Everyone's well most people have wanted something or someone that they can't have. Really sit down be honest with yourself and weigh the pros can cons of being with him. I mean do you really want to put up with the drama of being the "other women" and if he did it to his wife what makes you think that if you did get together that he would not do it to you. I say leave it along, I know you love him and he may or does love you but do you really want the drama is it really worth the drama..and if that is the person you are "suppose" to be with do you really think that a higher power (God) would send you someone that is already married...that's not fair.
2007-10-07 06:46:28 · answer #3 · answered by Danielle 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You can either follow your hearts, which you must know that if you follow your heart just remember that you two are destroying others along the way. Is he a rebound from your divorce? But if you don;t follow your hearts you will always keep wondering. The best advice if he is really happy with his marriage or doesn't want to get out of it, there is not much you can do. Find another job, or go on with your life, BC you two have already caused infidelity
2007-10-07 06:45:54 · answer #4 · answered by amberjake1 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He made a commitment to another woman 12 years ago. If he does not feel that commitment is valid, he still owes it to her to discuss that with her first, before he even starts something with someone else. These are things you need to consider before developing feelings for someone. Now that you have the feelings, I think taking a step back and evaluating the situation would be best. Give him space to evaluate his marriage and put no pressure on him to make a decision. He has to decide if his relationship with his wife is over. In the mean time, focus on your divorce and if this is as serious as you say, then be patient. Love that is meant to be is patient.
2007-10-07 06:45:46 · answer #5 · answered by jvc123 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
First of all the man your involved with is married and your in the middle of divoice how do you began one chapeter without closing the other thats what i would lke to no. in love or not you knew this man was married and should have kept on running the other way, now you claim your both in love but had to end the realtionship once the wife found out. Wake up get hold of your self and deal with one day at a time.
best of luck
2007-10-07 06:43:02 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
wow how could you even do this to someone, think how you would feel if you were her and you found out your hubby was cheating on you.
And you said that he called it quits well then he's probily not going to leave his wife. You should move on and find some one that is single. You are distroing a family here. Thats not good. Do they have kids? That's even worse.
You should turn around and go the other way, stay away from him no contact what so ever.
2007-10-07 07:40:58 · answer #7 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Having been in a very similar situation I can tell you how difficult it was for me. I was going though a real bad time in my relationship with my wife. I met a girl at the gym and as we got to know each other discovered we were both in a similar situation. She didn't know if she still loved her husband and vise versa for me. The more we talked the more we liked each other and eventually fell in love. It seemed so perfect, same desires, dreams, goal, etc. I truly fell deeply and madly in love for the first time in my life. I'm not sure of all the circumstances in your relationship but I'll say this. We ended up trying to make our relationships work, but I regret not following my heart. I'll never know if she was my one true love.
2007-10-07 08:59:46 · answer #8 · answered by discrete1009 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
why not try and work on your marriage like he has chosen to do. It's truly a nasty thing to steal another woman's man out from under her. Crossing boundaries is a very selfish thing to do. Love is only an emotion. And as far as I'm concerned you don't love him or you wouldn't be trying to rip his world apart. I think this is nothing more than lust. All this uprooting for a few good months is totally not worth it if you ask me. Find your way back to your husband so you have someone to grow old with and reminisce about the past with.
2007-10-07 06:41:33 · answer #9 · answered by sweet 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
So you two have called it quits because his wife found out? That seems a bit questionable to me because if you two were "meant" to be together, then you would be regardless of whether his wife found out or not. You should probably be wondering if what he's telling you and what he's telling his wife are the same things. Getting involved with married men is risky business, as they seldom leave their wives. In my opinion, if he truly believed you both were meant for each other, he wouldn't be torn between you and his wife. I say leave him alone and let him figure things out for himself. Give him time and space.
2007-10-07 06:39:57 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋