I married a man that doesn't love me back. We have two beautiful children ages 3 and 4. He works part time but doesn't tell me where. He's been in and out of jail and provides no income for our family. He comes and goes as he pleases but he's not all that bad. There are days where he'll come and tell me loves me. He does love our children even though he doesn't like to be left alone with them for more then two hours. I understand because they can be a handful but he loves them I just know it.
He doesn't always come home but I understand how much he needs to be with his friends. He won't go on family vacations with us, if he does he usually bails in the middle of it. I love him to much to let him go what should I do? The children need a father and in the end I'd be alone raising them if I do leave. What should I do? he won't go to family or marriage therapy of any sort. I know he's got issues of his own but his pride stands in the way.
2007-10-07 06:18:43 · 15 answers · asked by wildflow34 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Girl quit making excuses for him you deserve to be treated with love and respect in this marriage it is his job as a husband to you. You need to let him know that he needs to wake up and start respecting you , and become the man you and your kids need or he might lose you. Seriously life is too short do you want to be unhappy and unappreciated for the rest of your life? I don't think so. If there is nothing at stake he will always think he can keep being a selfish man.cheers
2007-10-07 06:27:17 · answer #1 · answered by Versacetica 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you don't want to do anything. And, what makes you think he works part-time when he provides no income to the family. He probably has at least one other woman that he sees on a regular basis, and maybe he even has another family that he goes to when he doesn't come home. I think you are the one who should go to therapy. By staying with your husband, you are showing your children that men can walk all over women, can come and go as they please, without being accountable, don't have to be responsible fathers or husbands, etc. Your sons will grow up just like him, and your daughters will marry similar men, unless YOU do something different. Actions speak louder than words. What you are modeling for your children (and teaching them) about marriage and family is totally inappropriate.
2007-10-07 13:31:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are married to an inconsiderate jack *ss! You can understand why he doesn't like watching his own children? You can understand why he doesn't come home because he needs to be with his friends? You really don't have any self esteem or respect do you? He is not a father....he is only a father when it is convenient to him....You and your children would be much better off without him....who needs an absentee husband and father? Get some pride for yourself and leave the jerk...quit being so dependent and settling for just any man!
2007-10-07 13:27:03 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Stay with him for now, but warn him if he doesn't shape up soon, that you are going to leave and try to find someone else. Even if you don't mean it, tell him thjat anyways because he'll think your seriouos. But not offense and all, he kinda' sound like he's lazy and doesn't want to provide for the children as much as he should. It is always better to have children grow up with a father, but this guy sounds like he needs to step up more as a dad, and start making some income for himself and the rest of your family.
2007-10-07 13:25:56 · answer #4 · answered by Ballin! 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nice job. Not only did you mess up your own life, but you have seriously messed up the lives of your children. Just what we need, two more criminals or strippers in 14 to 15 years.
It is time that you take responsibility for your own life. Quit living on hopes, and make some of your dreams come true. Nobody will fix this but you.
Leave this man, and do not date anyone until you have several years of therapy behind you, and you have learned how to love yourself.
In the meantime, make the focus of your life the caring and well being of those children.
You are now an adult. What that means is some mistakes you make now will effect you forever. It also means nobody will fix your mistakes but yourself.
Good luck. I will pray for you and your children.
2007-10-07 13:26:18 · answer #5 · answered by box of rain 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds as though you are raising them alone for the most part...
No one can make this decision but you...If he isn't supporting his children then he isn't being a real father. If he is in and out of jail he can't possible be a father figure....
I would tell him what is will take to keep you and his kids in his life...if he doesn't I would walk away and start over.
2007-10-07 13:24:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well he is a non contributing factor to your household income, and he comes and goes as he pleases, so I say Leave and then get a lawyer and set up some child support payments and visitation rights with family court, it doesn't sound like he would want to see them much anyway so he might not contest
2007-10-07 13:23:25 · answer #7 · answered by bells 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stop making excuses for him. You understand how much he needs to be with his friends? Are you serious? How much does he need to be with you and his children?
Sounds like you are getting NOTHING from him but heartache. Raising kids alone isn't as bad and never knowing when your not going to be raising them alone. kids are smart, they pick up on your uneasiness. Cut your losses!
2007-10-07 13:28:11 · answer #8 · answered by slv02 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
since your children are very young, they wont have as hard of a time dealing with you and your husband splitting up, if that's what you choose to do. in my opinion, it sounds like you're married to a loser. for all you know he could be off with another woman when he's suppose to be working. i think you should leave.
2007-10-07 13:26:13 · answer #9 · answered by terpschik202 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A real man wouldn't want his woman making excuses for his bad behavior. However, this man is a boy. Ween him off your tit and give him an ultimatum. It sounds like he needs you more than you need him anyway. Please stop making babying him, it's not helping him help you at all.
2007-10-07 13:32:50 · answer #10 · answered by peggy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋