My bestfriend passed away last year tommorow will be a year. I Am dreading the day,how can I get through it?

Question

what are some speacial ways I can keep her memory alive. I am so upset. I am like superstiuse about the day so much I want to be doing something different. Also she was cremated i dont have her ashes and she has no grave site that I know of her mother is so depressed she wont talk to me what should I do thankyou?

Like what everyone said isnt helping, Sending the mother flowers on a sad day her daughter died I really dont think thats very respecful in my opinion. Plus her mother dosent even want to talk on the phone. I wouldnt go there anyways.

I dont mean to be mean but I cant stand when people copywrite **** on the computer its like a lazy way to answer a question or eles i would research it.lol

I wish I had money to go away.lol and second, I wish I had another friend she was my only friend and thats the gods honest truth. sad isnt it.

Answer 1

Don't fight it. We all have the right to mourn. In fact it's part of the healing process. Spend the day in remembrance but of the good things. Write her a letter, listen to her favorite songs, talk to her about the fun you both had together.

You don't need a grave site or ashes, she's not in them anyway, but in a much better place. If you want to make your own memorial, set up a special place in your bedroom dedicated just to her, but make it about the person she was, why she was your best friend and not about how or why she died. Get your favorite photos or items that you shared as friends, that only you two knew about. She'll be there with you I'm sure and she would want you to remember the good times :)

Answer 2

Personally, I prefer not to talk to dead people, so I talk to God instead. Lord, if I give you a message for my mom, will you give it to her? Then I spend all the time I need catching her up on what's going on in my life, what I'm worried about and what turned out very well. I tell her how much I miss her and then I get a deep sense "Call your Daddy." I forget sometimes that Mom was the connection between me and Daddy, because I always went to Mom with my problems and my triumphs. But Daddy still needs me.

So pray, or write a letter to your friend and pour out everything you're feeling today. And if the two of you had other close friends, maybe today is the day to call. Remember all the funny things that happened--her swimsuit falling off, when she got really embarrassed in front of the cute salesclerk...Remember the birthdays, and the gifts, and the love.

And then tomorrow, the mourning time is over. One thing my mom said before she died was that I could take a little while to cry about her, but that after that I was to put away the tears. She would not have it that her death ruined my life. I was to go on as normal. I'm sure your friend would feel the same.

Take care, honey,

Debbie

Answer 3

Well I think the important part is to let yourself go through the emotions that come up, don't try to stuff them. Let those around you know how hard it is for you, so they can be more understanding. One thing you could do is write her a letter. When you are done it can be burned and your words can be carried up to the heavens. If you are young, make sure to have an adult help you do this. And for sure don't do it in your room, or in the house, do it outside in case any ashes or stuff. As far as the friends mother goes, seeing you probably reminds her of her daughter. If you were about the same age, you are probably kind of like a reminder of what she isn't getting to experience with her daughter. Give it time but don't forget. If you want to be really nice, send her a card that just says "thinking of you" and let her know you care about her, and that she can see you anytime or talk to you if she ever needs to. Give yourself time to grieve, but remember your friend too, do something to make the day a day of remembrance. You can go out and do something too, like a movie because it will take your attention and focus it on something else even if its just for an hour. Don't worry about keeping her memory alive, because it always will live in your heart. Hope something here helps, and I am sorry for your loss.

Answer 4

maybe do something that keeps her memory alive to u, think of all the fun stuff u used to do, look at photos, your going to be sad anyway so just make it a day to remember your friend and all the great memories u shared. Just tell yourself that u can feel as bad as u want on that day but the next day u have to go back to life because your friend would want that.Don't worry about not going to a grave or being around ashes she's not there anyway, u can talk to her anywhere.

Answer 5

I wouldn't send flowers or anything - I have never heard of someone doing that.

As far as you go - acknowledge your friend in your thoughts, which I bet from what you wrote, you do every day.
If I was you I would do something that would be fun to take my mind of of things. Is there something fun you can do like go to a small town for some shopping, or to a port where you can go to a few shops and walk on the pier. Try a flea market, movie, lunch or dinner with a friend.
Hang in there - I know it can be hard.

Answer 6

Okay, the same thing happened to me three years ago. My friend died in a tragic car accident. Every year on the day of his death I spend the day thinking about the memories we made together. Also, I will go to some of the places we went together. I suggest looking at old photographs of you and her and going to some of her favorite places. Spend the day thinking of how much fun you two had together. This might bring back some of the emotional pain that you had when she first passed but that is good. Don't hold your feelings back.

Answer 7

Hi why not try and talk to her mother and then you and you her mum can get go to your cemetary and plant a memorial tree and have a plque by the tree so you and her mum and friends and family can visit. My uncle died 2 years go and they had the ashes scattered under the tree, even if you havent got her ashes you can still put a tree there to remeber her, we did with my nana and grandad we put the tree there a few years ago next to my uncles so they are all together their ashes were scatterd in the garden of remeberance. But the tree is still there, it can be a place for you to go and talk to her.

Answer 8

The first year is the worst. It will get a bit better with time.
Tomorrow, wake up early as the sun rises, take a walk, say some prayers in her memory and reflect on all the wonderful memories you will always have.
The walk, prayers and reminiscing will be great medicine.
Speaking from experience.

Answer 9

Well, I think you shouldn't make a gigantic deal about. What I mean is, you should think of her, and remember her, but people die every day in this world. There is literally nothing you can do to stop it. When someone dies I know, I always go to another friend's house to hang and frankly, get it off my mind. I am truly sorry for your loss.

Answer 10

1st just try to stay busy so that you won't get so down & sad. But, it's okay to be sad also if you choose, just don't try to drag others into that place, go there alone. I'm not a big advocate of celebrating someones death, but their life. So, instead of trying to reach out to her mom now, try calling or going by or sending her something on your friends birthday. It's not easy no matter what, but life & death experiences are a part of life.