is he a bad husband?

Question

i've been with my husband for 4 years and have one child. My husband is a good man. he doesn't cheat on me, we have sex everyday, he fixes things around the house and cars, he is always home (he goes out once in a while to watch boxing but not a club/bar person), he works and gives me money. the only problem is he smokes marijuana "everyday" in the basement and said he will never quit. it does bother me because we have a child together. he said he would never let our child see it. is he a bad husband?

Answer 1

Whether he lets your child see it or not is not the point here. If he is refusing to quit then he needs to quit smoking in the house and around the family. If someone that knew you and what he does calls CPS then you could get your child taken away even if you do not smoke it yourself. He is putting your family at risk. Bad husband? No. Bad choices? Very much so. Tell him that there is to be no more of that in the house from this point on period. He may not understand the seriousness of the situation at this point and you need to explain it to him. If you get your child taken away for this it could take years to get your child back with lots of court hearings. You do not want that. Take the smoking away from the house.

Answer 2

Well, we can't have it all, but he certainly has a very bad and worrying habbit.
Some people think that this drug is inoffensive and only helps one to relax, but do you know of any such a thing as an inoffensive drug? It's addictive and so obviously bad.
What could happen? Well, he could become paranoid; Schizophrenic, and be a danger to himself or the whole family.
So, what I'd suggest, is for you to take all the information you can gather, at the clinics, on the net and ask him to read it.
Once he has, if he's still not convinced that it's a danger for the family, then you can decide.
It'll be a question of should I stay or should i go.
Basically, the material is nothing when you don't have someone to share it with.
Does he feel that he's doing enough around the house for you to let him indulge his only vice? Maybe, but he did choose one particular one that could affect the whole family.
Good luck.

Answer 3

I'm not going to pass judgement about whether he's a bad husband but I will tell you this. Two years ago I split up with a man who did the same thing (we had been engaged 20 years earlier too) he was divorced and had custody of his 3 children. When he was younger he swore his kids wouldn't know and wouldn't do it. When I split up with him his 16 year old son was smoking on almost a daily basis, quit school, gave up a promising career in Moto Cross and was working in a pizza place living with his girlfriend. And this man worked, did things around the house too, but the bottom line is it's an addiction and can't lead to anything good.

Answer 4

Tough one...

Your hubby is addicted, and addicted people can become unavailable people to those around them...

You have to decide a few things - how badly does this bother you?

If it is a deal-breaker, break it off... keeping in mind that you do have a child and for now, said child does not know about his father's addiction - but how long can you keep it hidden?

If you decide this is annoying and scary but not enough to leave him, you will need to end any kind of nagging or manipulation on your part about this. You will have to accept it as part of the package - does not mean you like it.... so,

You will need help in accepting this - join Al Anon or some other group where you can learn to be free of the worry and disgust you may have over this...

Also, be aware that you will never have the full dosis of respect for him... hard to respect someone who is addicted and does not want to stop...

Take care of yourself and your child, make the best of it, if you decide to stay and get help in staying and being whole while being married to someone with an addiction (pretty big hole, I'd say...).

Good luck!!

Answer 5

I don't think the qestion should be is he a bad husbend. I think it should be does he have a drug problem. And it sounds like yes he does. He needs help.

People say you can't get addicted to weed but I have seen what it can do and i strongly believe people can. And if he has already said that he wont stop smoking it then he is addicted.

I don't think it's something to get a divorce over but I also don't think it's somethin you should just put up with eaither. Frist off if the police or CPS found out he was smoking that in the house. You would be in as must trouble as he would be. You need to get him to stop smoking that period.

Answer 6

Yes he is a bad husband, and a bad father. If he gets caught smoking in the house you will lose your child. Is that worth it? I don't care what he does around the house. All that can come crumbling down. If they decide to drug test him at work he will no longer have a job. What happens when weed isn't enough for him. He will get moody, and will turn to harder drugs. Don't put up with this. you have to think about yourself, and your child. If you don't care then let him continue to do what he is doing. Good Luck

Answer 7

Sometimes in life you have to take the good with the bad and realize no one is perfect. I'm sure he smoked pot when you got married, so you knew what you were in for and chose to ignore it.

The real problem here is what he does is illegal. What he is doing he is at least doing in private, at home, away from the child, and is really fairly harmless in this case.

You should try to kindly explain why you wish he would stop, but I really don't think he will. Probably the more you push the less likely he will too.

I'm not saying this because I support marijuana usage. I don't smoke and neither does my husband. I just have learned that you have to be realistic in life, choose you're battles and try to except people for who they are.

Answer 8

Negligent in terms of doing what is best for him, maybe - but a BAD husband, no.

IF it drastically chances his personality, I would have a problem with it too - if he became listless and useless after smoking that would bother me too - what are his REASONS for doing it everyday? Is he in a lot of pain that cannot be reduced otherwise?

You must weigh his good points against this one bad one - and decide where to go from there. IF this is his only "vice", then I would have to say let it go unless it REALLY causes obvious problems.

Answer 9

you have not have been given a husband, you have a room mate. it type of feels he's not there for you emotionally or bodily. It certainly sounds as though he would not love you. i comprehend on your custom the mothers and dads organize what they assume may well be a happy union. yet as a human, your heart may well be in a various place. because of the fact you're inspired via your occupation and you prefer a house and teenagers, according to threat you may evaluate his kinfolk's wish and only divorce so which you will acquire your objectives in existence. And only because of the fact you divorce would not make you a failure. Your husband isn't precisely giving a hundred% in this relationship.

Answer 10

he s not a bad husband but hes a drug addict, i no some people dnt class this as a heavy drug but it causes a lot of probs later in life, impotence, paranoia, mood swings, ok these thimg arent going on now butthey will, and saying he would never let the kid see him do it is a cop out, she sees him under the influence of it. so if u pop pills r inject heroin and then go play with your kids its okat as long as they dont see u do it. he obviously is a very insecure person who feels he needs to be high to function. cant he just be himself without this drug, do you not want your child to have a normal dad. and it smells your prob immune to the smell by now but i know when i pass soeone on the street if theyve had a smoke of it cos it reeks, ur kid wont always be 4 and she ll catch on sooner r later u must make him see this is very unhealthy for your famliy. him doing all these nice things is ok but hes high otherwise he prob wouldnt.