My BF's son has had emotional and behavioral problems his whole life, he is now 13. He also reads and writes at about a 2nd grade level, but BF now insists he does not have a learning disability, he is just VERY lazy.He has recently begun seeing a psychiatrist. The problem is, as he done with about 8 other therapists, is that he sits there and refuses to talk. He answers"I don't know" to everything, or just looks out the window.They have tried a few different antidepressants, so far he hasnt really responded to any of them very much, but then he lies about having taken his medicine. Yes I realize his mother should make sure he takes it but she is at the end of her rope with him.He also gorges himself with food, and is double his ideal weight.He locks himself in his bedroom and eats 5000 calories at once!! I am scared to have him come to our house, he also has a history of physical aggression.If I ask BF whats going on, I am looking for trouble, if I dont ask I'm not showing interest.
2007-10-07 02:45:29 · 9 answers · asked by eastcoastdebra 3 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
this kid sounds like a candidate for an inpatient assessment and treatment program. it would really be a good idea.
2007-10-07 03:38:57 · answer #1 · answered by Mon-chu' 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is difficult to tell exactly what is going on, if you have other children in your household, I would recommend you do not have this child in your house. If sounds to me like both his mother and father do not have a clue about what to do with or for their son. At the age of 13 if he has chronic behavioral problems that he has had for years and years, someone, somewhere must have an idea what his issues are. Therapists do not always have "the solution" through drug therapy or talk therapy. At 13 years parental input may be somewhat late or this child is so developmentally delayed real parental input can accomplish a lot. I imagine the child is angry, (I imagine he has lots to be angry about), I imagine he has terrific emotions that he has no way to handle,(exercise, school activities, boy scouts, hobbies, friends, religion), I imagine he experiences little discipline (meaning NOT punishment but being taught how to act), and I imagine parental pride is preventing his parents from seeing what is going on. When a child enters the teen years it is really difficult, though not impossible, to intervene. There are therapeutic, non drug, providers who may provide assistance to him but only if all parties are willing to try and are willing to pay for it. Until he gets into huge trouble parents will need to pay for this kind of assistance. There are places that are residential that provide "tap" therapy, "horse" therapy etc. that are not survival camps, but are therapeutic residences for children who have lost their way. Frequently parents need some training as well, but in the mean time, if you have a family of your own, children? Keeping them separate is a good idea, maybe you should reconsider your BF, but also remember his ego is involved with his son, and he is at a loss too.
2007-10-07 03:07:44 · answer #2 · answered by b w 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My son did the same thing with most therapists. We eventually found one psychiatrist and one counselor that he would open up to...but only if I wasn't in the room. That might be an option for your BF and his son. The doctor will still tell dad everything that was discussed, but sometimes kids just don't want to talk about their emotions in front of their parents.
2007-10-07 02:50:24 · answer #3 · answered by RayeKaye 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He obviously has serious problems that his parents are not able to deal with. If your boyfriend has coverage for it, I would suggest an inpatient stay at a psych hospital for evaluation. To just say that he is "lazy" is not at all appropriate for the symptoms you describe. Something traumatized him.
2007-10-07 02:50:19 · answer #4 · answered by Kimberly B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to be patient help doesn't happen over night. Maybe he needs a friend, why don't you try to be that friend in his life, and not be against him. The best way to do that is listen to him, to his problems, what's bothering him....Good Luck...
2007-10-07 03:00:52 · answer #5 · answered by Dianne L 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a huge problem, and its going to get worse. However, if your boyfriend and the kids mom aren't dealing with it properly, there isnt much you can do. Even if you found someone who this kid would talk to, it would take months or years of digging to solve the puzzle. If this kid weighs twice as much as he should, then someone is buying the extra food and making it available to him. They need to stop giving him access to the extra food, and start making him take his meds in front of them. If he cries and complains then someone needs to take charge and force him to comply.
2007-10-07 02:52:58 · answer #6 · answered by Andrew 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
the boy needs discipline, take away privileges (TV, computer, game system etc...) and why is he allowed to bring food to his room. the parents need to take an active roll and not expect a psychiatrist to do it all
2007-10-07 02:58:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think his problem is more than just agression or laziness or distraction. Why don't you advice her to try a child psychoanalyst?
2007-10-07 03:10:10 · answer #8 · answered by Psychological Moment 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you have to display a "no demand attitude". let it be for a while if he is not talking. it will not be forever that he will do that. just be patient enough and it will pay off in time.
2007-10-07 02:58:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋