have one daughter not married,separated and the mother has another family but still have a communication because of the child and hes older you of 12yrs.would you stay?or let go?
2007-10-07 02:42:52 · 12 answers · asked by mariecris 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He will always be the father and connected to his daughter for the rest of his life and nothing could or should change that. He comes as a package deal and that has got to be accepted and always figured in. Women and men can come and go in our lives but our children remain forever. If you love this man and want to be in his life that means she will be there to. She could be an added bonus in your life or not depending how much you put into it. On the other hand you could still put everything into it and for reasons of her own may not even like you? In a situation like this you have to understand to take the bad with the good and not let her have power over your relationship with Dad. You need to communicate with this man and talk with him about the things that are on your mind....it would probably be wise to talk with people that have stepchildren or read some books on it to see what you are up against to help you weigh out this decision. Good luck and best wishes.
2007-10-07 03:50:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would depend on you. Are you willing to accept that he has another person in his life who will always come before you (his child)? Can you accept the fact that he has to talk to ex, and they have to make serious choices about their child, and more often than not, it will not involve you? You will also have to find a way to get along with his daughter. When you get into a relationship with someone with a child you have to accept the child as well. If you are not ready for something like that, then, back out.
2007-10-07 02:54:47 · answer #2 · answered by Lovebug123 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay if you want or leave. That is your choice and not ours. Just know that the child's needs should always come first... even over the needs of you.
Also know that the baby's mother is now, and always will be a huge part of his life. If you are able to deal with this reality, and set aside any feelings of jealousy, then enjoy the relationship. If not, do everyone involved a favor and end it sooner rather than later.
Good luck.
2007-10-07 02:51:51 · answer #3 · answered by box of rain 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's up to you. only you know what kind of circumstances you are willing to deal with. for me, at 26, i wouldn't date a man with children. however, if i were in my 40s, it would be rare to meet another 40 yr old without children and a previous marriage so i would likely have to relax my standards.
right now, i'm not ready to deal with the drama of the kid visiting every other weekend, plus part of my family income going toward child support, or any issues dealing with the mother. i would be more open to the idea if i was older and the kids were out of the house so that i wouldn't have to deal with all their teenage angst. why? because the stepparent is rarely allowed to discipline the stepchild. plus, during the teen years, the stepchild always uses the "you're not my mother" insult to invalidate the stepparent.
2007-10-07 03:37:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he's very tied up with his past and will have little time, energy, financial resources to spend with you. If your goal is to eventually get married, your BF right now is not a great candidate - you will have a shared spot with the mother of his child... over time, you may grow to resent that and it will affect your relationship in a negative way.
Walk away and be open to someone with a lot less baggage and complications to have the best possible start of a long life together.
If you just want to play around and are not into long-term and marriage, continue dating him...
Hope this helps...
2007-10-07 02:50:34 · answer #5 · answered by Gatubella 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
if i were you, i will continue to stay. people say, love has no boundaries. if you two really loves each other, it doesn't matter if he's too old for you. anyway, it's not like he's still married, so why not? but do you get along with his daughter? it might be a bit too hard for her to accept you as her stepmother, so things might be a little hard for you if that's the case. but the saying goes, when there's a will, there's a way...i'm sure you'll do all right!
2007-10-07 02:53:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can't handle it, then move on. But if he's taking care of his kid and his relationship with the child's mother is not full of drama, then I would say go for it, but understand that you can't always be first with a man who has a kid.
2007-10-07 03:06:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well alot of people r single parents,which mean a connection to the mother.it is a choice u r going to have to make..can u handle it? honstly sit down and weigh it out.,just cause he has a kid should not matter,the can u deal with the situation does.do u love him.do u love the kid?...hope this helps...
2007-10-07 06:43:42 · answer #8 · answered by fancyface4u70 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I might stay, but it depends on how much baggage YOU can take. The age difference is not that great, but the ex-wife and kids will make it difficult for you.
2007-10-07 02:54:38 · answer #9 · answered by nurse ratchet 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I agree if you can handle it because no matter what the child is the most important thing.
2007-10-07 03:00:55 · answer #10 · answered by MrS.WilSoN 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋