what would you do?

Question

I have been with my husband for 4 years we have one child. I have some money saved up that he doesn't know about and my family just gave me $6000 to spend on myself and son. My husband is broke right now he quit his job 2 months ago and has been broke since but will start his own business soon. When he was working at his old job he was giving me money. now he needs to buy equipments and tools to start his own business and he is thinking about asking his parents to lend him money . if you were me would you tell your husband about the savings account and help him out? i want to help but don't want to regret it later on if marriage doesn't work out

Answer 1

you are thinking " if the marriage doesn't work out" there is a reason for that thought? with that and the fact that you are asking this question- i would say keep the money a secret.

Answer 2

It sounds to me like you don't have very high expectations of your marriage. Are you saving the money and not telling him about it in case you need it if you have to leave some day and you got something to fall on? When he was working, he gave you money, so why not the other way around? Marriage is a bond where you are to share everything and help each other. If this business works out and you didn't give him anything to help, then what right do you have to any of the money he will make from his business? If I were you, yes, I would tell my husband about the money and help, it's only fair, but then again, it's your money and your choice, but think more highly of your marriage, if you don't have a positive attitude that, "till death do us part," then why did you bother getting married in the first place?

Answer 3

keep your money hidden! He can ask his parent for the money but if he has decent credit at all and the business idea is sound, he can perhaps make up a sheet showing how much it will cost to set up the business, what it will cost for supplies and wages as well as any other expenses he will have and what the return should be on that money and ask a bank for a business loan.
the whole story is long but basically when Bricklon had his idea for the Bricklon Automobile, he took his sheets similar to what I mentioned to a bank and was given a loan of a million dollars based upon the paperwork alone. actually, to finish that story, the idea for the car was perfect and one analyst I saw talking about that said that Bricklon had run out of money before the car was mass produced and therefore went bankrupt but had he asked for 10 million he would have been loaned that and we would be seeing that car on the road today. I tell you that so that you will know that if he can get the paperwork together and can get a business loan to start that business, make sure that your husband asks for enough money to get a good start in the business.
By keeping your money hidden, if the business does not make it and you need money to eat on, or the point comes when a divorce is necessary, you will have the money there for that.

Answer 4

if it is a savings account you shouldn't touch it because that money should be used for emergencies. Your husband made a choice in quitting his job and pursuing his business endeavor and although it may have been for bettering the life of you and your son...you should still let him find a way to take care of it. I think while he is struggling to do this, maybe you should take on the task of handling "maintenance" such as keeping up with food and other various things as far as the house and your son is concerned. By no means do I think you should touch your money that you are saving though. You never know...you might end up needing that money to start a savings for your child's future also. Supporting your husband's endeavor and being his optimist will help him a lot...be his driving force. If he asks for help, then try considering some options like searching for a reasonable business loan...for that he is going to have to have a business plan made out.

Answer 5

A women always has to take care of her self, don't give him the money. Let him do it on his own, he was prepared to do it that way so let him. If you have doubts that the marriage will works the add to your savings and never let him know. I've been there left high and dry with a child when the marriage went bad. For your own peace of mind don't do it. That fact that you are asking makes me think you just need someone to tell you you don't have to tell him about the money and sweety you don't have to tell him. Didn't your momma ever tell you that you should never give money to an unemployed man LOL.

Answer 6

Gosh, ain't you a little bit selfish here?? He gave you money that you needed but now he is broke and in need and you cannot spare?? You don't have to tell him exactly how much you have, and there is no need to give all money away... but he is your husband and you promised to love him for the better and for worse. What happened to the part of "worse"?

If you are happily married, the divorce would be the last thing on your mind.

Answer 7

I used to have a little money saved up too, because our marriage wasn't looking so good and I didn't want to be stuck if he just up and left me. But then we hit a rough patch and I realized that I said "for better or for worse" and that this man struggling for us to make ends meet was my husband who I love beyond words. So I got over myself and took the money out, confessed that I'd been afraid I'd be stuck alone if we divorced and wanted to secure myself just incase, and admitted that it was wrong of me to go behind his back and not trust that he wouldn't just leave me. I put the money into our mutual account, closed out mine, and I feel a lot better now. In marriage there should be no secrets, no matter how big or small they may be.

Answer 8

That is no way to be thinking. When you get married you should be thinking you will grow old together. Has he given you any reason to think the marriage will not survive? Is he a good husband, does he treat you well? Do you love him and he loves you? If the answer to those questions is "yes", then you should be helping him out....hes your partner in life. What if his business makes it big.....would you expect to get something out of it? If you love him and he has given you no reason to think that the marriage wont survive, then you need to be partners in this venture. Any marriage could end...but if he has given you no reason to think it will, then you really have to support your husband both financially and emotionally. As far as I am concerned when you love someone, you help them out. Money will come and go....but true love is something you need to cherish. Do you trully love your husband......does he trully love you? If its yes, then you should share everything you have....including your money.

Answer 9

In distress Patience, Religion, Friend and Wife are put up to test. So give up ill will against your husband and help him as you are helping yourself.

Answer 10

sounds like you are selfish unless you have a problem in your marriage that you failed to mention