How do I prevent myself from catching feelings with the guys I date? I almost can't help it seems! Even when I don't even really like the guy, I grow feelings fast!!! I care way too much. How do I learn to care about myself more, become more selfish in a sense...if you will. How do I just NOT CARE for them and have complete disregard, unattachment to the men I date? I get hooked really fast, so I'm very vulnerable to catching feelings. I have this mad maternal instinct or something? lol Help! What can I do? Any suggestions? Thanks!
2007-10-06 17:31:45 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
You want to stop your natural reactions.First,this is really difficult.You have to do this with a lot of practice but it will be difficult.Second,I think this is not a wise idea no matter if you get hurt or something because you will become as cold as a stone and this will affect not only the boys you are dating but also everyone around you and you won't noticed it.Just let it be that way.You you get hurt again just repeat to your self 'it's just the life....he isn't the first nor the last boy in my life so I shouldn't take it so deep'
2007-10-06 17:56:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow! I fall fast too but I have learned to take it slower because sometime love hurts! I would think you would have some like for a person you are dating so that is not unusual but if you feel yourself catching feelings, as you say, take a step back and look at the situation then go from there.
2007-10-06 17:45:49 · answer #2 · answered by chestnutlocs1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I don't think you want to be completely unattached. These are potential relationships, and you should give yourself a chance to be involved, just in case this will turn into a great love match. But the key thing is to try and see them as they really are. Look for signs that they are not "into you" as much as they are themselves or their friends or their favorite sports, etc. If a guy is totally coming on to you, that's not really natural, and once he "gets you" he will cool down and really act like himself. Keep that in mind, and let him know from the start, that you are interested in getting to know one another before you get too serious. Guys really don't want to be serious with girls, they just really want sex. And it's the girl's job to let them know that "serious" and "sex" go together... that he is not getting one without the other. That's how you make sure that you don't get used just for sex and then thrown to the side. Be involved, be interested, but see him as he really IS, and wait until he has proven to be really interested in you as a person, before you give him all you have.
2007-10-06 17:54:33 · answer #3 · answered by mia2kl2002 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear Brandi,
I hate sounding like a broken record. However, the answer to this question, and many of the questions you have asked, is, deal with your codependence, i.e., your emotional programming since early childhood. No doubt, it is far easier said then done. Please, find a competent counselor ! Please do something for yourself, only for yourself !
Larry
2007-10-07 13:24:54 · answer #4 · answered by Larry 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask them not to bath for a few weeks?
2007-10-06 17:36:17 · answer #5 · answered by UnderwaterTomato 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Uh... don't date?
Explore independence.
2007-10-06 17:41:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
do not do anything
2007-10-06 17:40:26 · answer #7 · answered by jessy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋