Windows...comments?

Question

Windows.

Upon the gate,
There hangs a note,
Something rote,
Twighlight's fate.

Doors of jade,
Brush the moon,
Daylight soon,
Playmates fade.

Shutters tight,
Tied to tears,
No more fears,
No more night.

Only broken light.

Answer 1

Hi,
Nice rhythm; easy to read. A minimalist yet meaningful use of words. Sensitive yet precise. Doors of ‘jade’ first impression green, read it again and I think of the associations of the gemstone: jade has a balancing and harmonising effect, a beautiful gemstone that brings joy, vivacity and happiness. As daylight comes soon, the broken light might well expand to bring hope after the ‘no more night’.
Pollyanna

Answer 2

<3

Answer 3

My version would be very similar to yours:
Windows

Upon the gate
There hangs a note
Something I wrote
to let them know
what's getting my goat

We shut all our windows
I can't take it much more
all that horrendous noise
from the construction next door

c) 2007 operacats

My version is about these construction workers, who have been breaking through the cement of the parking lot next door
...this has been going on for the last two months and the noise of it makes us just want to run away...they begin at 8:00 am and don't finish till 5:00pm [so I can't take a nap, when I want to during the afternoon.] So I wrote them a note, saying that you guys are disobeying the city's noise free bi-law and you have ruptured some people's and their pets' eardrums. I tied
the note, that I wrote on a large piece of cardboard, to their side of the fence which is adjacent to ours...and to my surprise, the noise volume went down a notch the very next day.
How odd it is that we are experiencing the same kind of poem. Yours' is really good, except it upsets me to read that you are ''Tied to tears''.

Answer 4

I have used both of these programs. first of all open office will not open office2007 documents , as it supports till office 2003. secondly MS excel is very powerful than any other worksheet s/w. But with open office u wont have a problem with most common formulas and functions. It takes a while to switch from Ms office 2007 to open office. now even if u don't have function available in openoffice u can still open a .XLS file in it provided its in 2003/97 office format. I am still experimenting with open office but it is going good after so many days.

Answer 5

This is pretty cool. I love and sometimes write minimalist poetry myself. If done right saying more with less can be a powerful poetic device and this, my friend, is done right.

I wonder how many people writing today realize the complex meaning of the very short word 'rote' and how many would have used 'wrote' instead to have a rhyming word?

Well done!

Answer 6

It's so nice that I have to reply by my own poetry:

My house windows
Spreading out towards the nightmare sky
Were waving to new hope by enraged winds
But were shattering by the mortals' challenge.
Making me hear their banging
At the hand of lassitude abyss
The mystery of my home
Was hidden from passer-by forever.
(I'm sorry about my English mistakes)

Answer 7

Oh I like this one because it sets my imagination a flight.

♥

PS: I posted a Spider Haiku poem recently so if you want to read it etc, feel free to do so.

Answer 8

Nice work!

Its clever the way the words work together, I really like it.

Keep it up!

Answer 9

Yes, It is very Beautiful...

Answer 10

veddy intersting, yahhhh, veeeddy interesting