I mean it's not that bad, I have been married for two months and I know both my husband and I need our own space, but the thing is that we were supposed to do something together one night, and he suddenly changed plans and invited all of his buddies to our house to have a few beers. I know it is not a big deal, this is something that helps him get stress out of his system. But I can't help feeling a bit angry and jealous about it. Am I being to selfish?
2007-10-06 16:28:59 · 12 answers · asked by supi25 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think it is not unfair for you to say to him how much you were looking forward to spedning the night together with him on your "date" but was very disappointed with him in that he invited all of his buddies.
Moving forward, he needs to honor his committment to the plans that you both have together just like you need to honor those plans as well.
If he wants to invite a group of guys over, he should have done it on another night.
If he was streesed he should be talking to you about it. Communication is very important and there is no one else that will be there to listen to him then you.
So yes, you have every right to feel angry and jealous and you have every right to address it with him s that the miscommunication doesn't happen again.
I say miscommunication because then this gives him an out this time, like "I forgot" or something. I would hate to think he broke the date on purpose this short into your marriage.
Good luck.
2007-10-06 16:53:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you're being selfish if you had plans to be together alone and he chose to have his buddies over instead. He really should have given you an explanation and then promised you a special night the next day or something rather than just doing what he did. It's a little immature of him and not very good for the relationship if he does things like that. So you're not being selfish and you should tell him how you feel so it doesn't happen again.
2007-10-07 01:59:45 · answer #2 · answered by abrennan01 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No sweetie you are not being selfish. The majority of men are just naturally self centered and they don't even realize when they commit a relationship faux pas.
I will say that you will have to straighten this out before it becomes a major issue. If you have to keep carrying around resentments for his behavior you will only become an angry person while he goes around feeling like he has the world by the b*lls because he is able to do as he pleases, when he pleases.
Good luck.
2007-10-06 16:59:19 · answer #3 · answered by Chikadee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Couples plan and plan, sometimes for over a year, for the wedding and honeymoon. But they do not plan for the day they get home and have to re-enter the real world. It's a shock sometimes. It takes a while to adjust to each other's needs and feelings. Let him know you were disappointed, but don't make a huge deal about. (There will be bigger things to make a big deal out of.) But let him know what he missed out on. Now you are a couple, but you don't want to lose your contact with your buddies. Let him meet with his buddies, and you have a girls nite with your buddies. But make sure you have your nights together and make them special.
2007-10-06 16:41:11 · answer #4 · answered by old beatnik 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The first question is how old is he? If he is in his early 20's get used to it. For some reason guys do this around this age and they don't even realize he is hurting your feelings. If he is older than try suggesting if he wanted to switch days around. The more understanding you are the more he will understand you. But once again if he is in his early 20's I promise you it will get better as long as you act like the supportive understanding wife. Trust me it will pay off in the long run. My hubby did the same thing. One thing that my husband did want to say in this situation is if your nagging at him, that's why he wants his buddies around they don't nag. Good Luck!
2007-10-06 16:43:47 · answer #5 · answered by Lordes Skye 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He should have asked you before he changed the plans the two of you had. But, you're right, in the grand scheme of things, it's not really a big deal. Let it go this time, but let him know how it made you feel. If it happens again, then you need to have a serious talk with him about his priorities.
You have to pick your battles carefully!
2007-10-06 16:41:31 · answer #6 · answered by ncgirl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Selfishness is involved with this situation...but I honestly don't think it's on your end.
However you choose to deal with this situation, keep in mind that there WILL be more important things to be upset about. He certainly shouldn't have had his buddies over when you had alternate plans...as inconvenient and frustrating as it was, be glad he had the guys over to your place rather than taking off with them and making you wonder where he was and/or who he was with.
2007-10-06 16:56:05 · answer #7 · answered by Sassy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not being selfish. He's being an asshole. It will happen from time to time. We're men and we have different priorities than women sometimes. As long as he puts you ahead of his friends consistently and doesn't always neglect you for them, let it slide this time. Be cool. If you guys love each other and are honest, it'll work out. good luck.
2007-10-06 16:54:10 · answer #8 · answered by B. Nowlin 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Only two months and he's wanting to hang out with buddies all the time! Girl, he should be all over you!!! You need to straighten him out. Be strong!
2007-10-06 16:41:40 · answer #9 · answered by Erin 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Honey get your balls out of the jar he is trying to put them in...that is your house, your husband and your life. Do NOT let him think he can do that or he will keep trying to do it. Stop it now or it will get worse.
2007-10-06 16:36:26 · answer #10 · answered by soulmate_n_nc 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋