Conversation With A Definite Maybe. Sometimes? Lover
“What’s wrong?
I know something’s wrong.”
Shrug.
“Nothing”
I say with
Standoffish body language
Long drawn out kiss
Before you leave
As my insides scream
Love me…
Why won’t you
Love me?!
Take advantage
Of my body
But my emotions
Can’t deal with this anymore
“Why are you kissing me?”
“You get mad when I don’t”
No I don’t
I just
I just…
Would do anything for you
Anything
To be close to you
I hate these
Conversations
With my
Definite Maybe
Sometimes?
Never
Nope never
Only when he feels like it
Lover
2007-10-06 11:11:44 · 5 answers · asked by Hannah S 1 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
Sounds like someone has gotten under your skin and into your hormones. Great expression.
2007-10-10 08:54:46 · answer #1 · answered by Dondi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It kind of grows on me. At first I was going to say it doesn't have enough detail and poetic rhythm, but I like the "Take advantage of my body but my emotions can't deal with this anymore."
I like how the poem goes from this clingy, needy, wanting voice to one that clearly understands the situation. But I want more as a reader than the realization. Guess I want to know what happens next. Will there be more of these conversations that you hate? Or is this the last one. It may be more powerful if you have this as the last conversation with your definite, maybe, sometimes lover. And instead of ending it on the word Lover, end it on the word "never."
And as a little detail, I'd drop the "nope." It's too casual compared to the rest of it.
2007-10-06 11:19:52 · answer #2 · answered by a3strangequarks 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow! What a great control of the language to describe such a universal feeling.
I give you many kudos for this well-wrought verse!
2007-10-06 13:07:51 · answer #3 · answered by Nathan D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's ok, just not my kind of poetry.
2007-10-06 11:20:45 · answer #4 · answered by Bethany 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats so good
2007-10-10 10:10:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋