its been 6 months since i got married to yogs...we've been having fights on and off...and v usually end up

Question

hurting eachother...but in d end things turn on me...and im to blame for everything...recently....i had a miscarriage...i really wanted d baby..but the docs said tht it wasnt growing and they advised me to get it terminated...i was left all mentally n physically weak..my parents and my husband supported my recovery....i had a fight over d phone with his sis....cos she was blaming my folks for no reason....and tht was when spotting in my preg took place leading to d termination...i havent been talkin to her since...y'day my hubby planned out an eve at d movies...though i was dead tired with d preparation of dinner etc for v had a 25 ppl get together..i still got ready and v left...we were nearly there when my bubby called his sis and told her to b there..cos she was joining us for a movie too....now y didnt yog prepared me for this b4?? i couldnt have said no...cos i love him....we hada very furious fight in d car...and cancelled everything....i still havent overcome the fight..pls help

i really want things back to normal...but how can things be back to normal if i'll be d only one to initiate the talking wiht his sis...with no res[ponse from the other side??? only if my hubby supports me a little.....i know his siter means d world to him...then where do i stand in his life?? if he has his expectations from me...what about mine?? i love him...i know....but if he fights for his sister with me without even listening to me.....how can my love for him survive...i feel lonbely here staying with his inlaws and suter....especially when we have fight and he calls his parents during d fight....i just want d fight to be between me and him....well he just throws up all d discussion with his parents....were as i dont even discuss any fight my parents.....i need ur help....i reallllly want to survive.......

Answer 1

I am sorry to hear about your loss. One thing is that your husband should have never invited his sister to go to the movies, period. After what she has done. He should have talked it over with you first to see if it was okay to have her come. It seems like he is trying to get you and his sister together so you two can talk once again, but he needs to see that it is not that easy especially after what she has done already.

You should not try to get pregnant if you don't have a healthy marriage. You need to give it some time so you can first work on your marriage before starting a family. Plus, do what your doctor says. Bringing a baby into this world will not make things better in your marriage if things have not been good in the beginning.

I hate to say this, but you cannot go on with holding grudges against your sister-in-law. Even if she hasn't apologized to you, you need to let that go now. Of course you will always remember the bad things that happened, but if you keep all this bitterness inside of you, it will only make your health worse and it will not be fair to your husband if you are always bitter inside or if you are always in a bad mood.

The best thing to do is forgive. You don't have to be around her if she is bitchy or evil. If she is that way, she should never be in your home. So, you need to explain to your husband that if his sister is going to treat you with dis-respect, then she is not invited to the home. Your husband should be protecting you from harm. He should stand up for you because you are his wife. A real man does those things for their wife. He should always let you know about everything rather than letting you know at the last minute so you can plan ahead. You come first in his life, not his family.

To overcome the fight and if you want to feel better, go to your husband and apologize to him for the way things went in the car. Even if you didn't start it, apologize. I can guarantee that things will be better after that. Then give him a great big hug and kiss! You say you love him, then show him! Spend time alone with him only.

I would consider on reading "The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage" and "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands." These are two great books to read for husbands and wives.

Answer 2

I think you need to talk about this with your husband. I think you have many valid points. You might even consider disconnecting the phone so he can't enlist his family members to gang up on you. I agree he should have prepared you for his sister being there and let you choose the time and place. Valid or not your feelings towards her are there and it's between the two of you to work them out. You won't get over this I promise until you guys work through it maybe even get counseling or a mediator there to help. Sorry marriage is hard but it's even harder if you don't communicate. Good Luck

Answer 3

you need to get marriage counseling and he needs to learn to make a choice between you and his family. The two of you were married without enough basis for that marriage - was it because of pregnancy? He either has to grow up and stand on his own two feet, without his family involvement, or you have to realize that this isn't going to work and leave in order to find someone who loves you more than his family in your future.

Answer 4

Don't try to have another baby until you and Yogs are about 70, OK?

Answer 5

Hell, I couldn't even read the question! Learn to spell!

Answer 6

please pray to God about this..