I'm in a small town in the middle of the bible belt, and I'm immensely curious about the bdsm culture. I think it would be right for me and very interesting, but I'm not totally sure as I've never been around it.
How would I gain experience with bdsm and have the freedom and *safety* to experiment? There are is one bdsm group in my city, but it's full of folks with years, often decades, of experience.
I feel that joining up while knowing next to nothing would be like a toddler joining a footrace. Am I wrong? Would they be fairly understanding of a complete greenhorn, or would this be like going back to high school with all the cliques?
Help!
2007-10-06 10:14:05 · 6 answers · asked by akblake1 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
everyone started out as a beginner, talk to them and im sure you'll find alot of people you would like to have as neighbors,
im also sure there are jerks out there also, but you will find them anywhere. have fun and play safe and remember the most important thing is communication
tc
2007-10-09 07:45:25 · answer #1 · answered by tencar 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well I'm happy to see that you are exploring this world of BDSM. It is exciting and fun, but yes you must be careful.
A couple of websites you can look into:
www.castlerealm.com
www.bound.com
www.collarme.com
Now the castle realm site is an awesome site to learn more about the world of bdsm
Both the others are more geared to posting profiles to meet someone, however there are great bulletin boards there.
I am on collarme myself.
Most people will be very understanding and accomodating to someone as new as you are, however there will also be quite a few that will want to take advantage of you too. Use a lot of common sense. Never meet up with anyone unless it's in a public place with someone who knows your whereabouts and exact time you will be back. This might mean you have to tell someone you trust about your interests. But It can keep you safe. If you do meet someone and it goes to "play" then you should always use a safe word.
And you will find that there will be cliques. They are in every kind of group. One reaason tho is the people in this lifestyle want to be with people who are INTO the lifestyle and not just players. be open and honest of your intentions and you will find that these people can be the nicest and warmest people you have ever met.
If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me directly, I'd be happy to answer your questions.
2007-10-06 20:33:30 · answer #2 · answered by kerin 6 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Alot of people in the lifestyle and in it for just play are more than willing to help out a new person find thier niche in bdsm. Bdsm for the most part is all about open communication, and making each other feel comfortbale, contradiction in terms I know, but get out there and talk with these people, if they don't accept you move on to someone who will, hope this helps.
2007-10-08 04:38:15 · answer #3 · answered by emt_dragon339 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Most people involved in this are the same people we see at the grocery store, Pizza Hut, Petsmart, or wherever. They're ordinary people. They just have a different sexual preference.
There must be websites that you can visit. But, like the poster above mentioned, be careful. I would imagine that there are a lot of sickos who hang around those websites looking for people like you.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xnup6fBthQE
2007-10-06 19:19:21 · answer #4 · answered by WildOne 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most people in the lifestyle are pretty understanding about new people. I'd try talking to them, along with continuing to read about the lifestyle.
Just remember not to participate in anything without a safe word, and only participate with those that you trust.
2007-10-06 17:18:37 · answer #5 · answered by Pirate AM™ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They would be understanding
2007-10-07 13:22:05 · answer #6 · answered by Wayne 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋