2007-10-06 10:12:11 · 33 answers · asked by Jules UK 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
How long have you lived with him?
< 1 week - RUN
< 1 month - RUN
< 1 year - RUN
< 2 years - should be okay
> 2 years - You should already know exactly what to do.
2007-10-06 10:15:08 · answer #1 · answered by ZCT 7 · 2⤊ 2⤋
In life the only guarantee is death. Everybody dies. Everything is is up for grabs or luck. There is no guarantee that a marriage will last as there is no guarantee that a marriage will fail. Everybody experience commitment ansiety. It is normal. But, it is just a fear of the unknowned. A fear of failure. But isn't through failure that we learn. If everything always goes right there is nothing to be learned right!
Another thing is that marriage is just a piece of paper. Your future husband can cheat on you at nay moment or leave you at any moment. No peiece of paper will prevent anybody from finishing a commitment just as knowing that robbing a cornner store will lead to prison time stops all would be robbers. By that same token even if you don't get married there is no guarantee that a boyfriend will not leave you or cheat on you. It is a personal choice or decision. The paper and the celebration is just tradition and just a way of going through the motions. In as far as a helathy marriage goes is inconsequential. A person who spent $500 on a Vegas wedding has as much chance of marriage failure or success as a person who spents $500,000 on their wedding.
Now that you know this the fear of getting married should had diminished. The reality is that there will never be a good time to get married as there will never be a good time to have kids. You just do it and hope for the best.I mean as long as you are going into a healthy relationship. If the guy is abusive then of course don't get married. But, by now you should have somewhat of an idea of what type of person he is. You should had experince some bad times and should had seen how he reacts to preassure or how you two solve disagreements. Everybody fights. That is natural. But, most people make up and reach some sort of compromise. Just because you have a piece of paper it does not changes anything. The question is yes, you are legally married but are you married in your heart soul and intent. Because that is what counts.
2007-10-06 10:24:17 · answer #2 · answered by mr_gees100_peas 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you are having cold feet and if you only known him for just 6 months or so, then RUN! Get to know him for at least 2-3 years before getting married. If you are not ready, then don't get married.
I would consider reading "10 Stupid Things Women Do To Mess Up Their Lives."
I also want to mention. If you known him for quite some time now and you love him, he loves you and you want to spend your whole entire life with him, plus if he wants to have a family some day, then marry him. If you are seeing 'red flags' on him like if he is controlling, on drugs, abusive, etc.....then don't marry him at all.
If you do marry him, consider reading "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" and "The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage." These are two great books every husband and wife should read to keep their marriage together.
2007-10-06 10:43:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time to sit down and come to odds about it! Really, this is a great time for you. The point of decision. Weighing the pros and cons. Deciding what life will be like with out him. Deciding what life will be like with him. Can you take meddling in-laws, are you proud of your family as his in-laws? Are you mature enough? Are you financially secure enough? Do you have the same goals? Or are you sure that love alone will see you through? (bologna) Do you know right now how to define love? Can you put it into words? Can he? If not.... you are not ready.
2007-10-06 10:33:10 · answer #4 · answered by delux_version 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Run like hell and never look back. This is not cold feet. Your gut knows something you'd rather not admit to yourself. A wedding ceremony lasts 30 to 60 minutes. Marriage to someone your gut instinct is telling you to run from can last long enough to make you regret your very existance. Easy to get into, tough, expensive and complicated to get out of, so don't do it.
2007-10-06 10:40:07 · answer #5 · answered by amazingly intelligent 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you feel you need to run? What is it about him that you love? Why did you agree to marry him? These are things you can ask yourself. You may be feeling jitters and it will probably go away. Don't make any rash decisions either way.
2007-10-06 10:16:05 · answer #6 · answered by momo5j7 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
every1 gets cold feet be4 their wedding day. its normal. do u love the guy? if so then stay. i mean u did say yes to him so u must love him. just take a deep breathe and try to relax. its all worth it and besides ur big day is gonna be here soon so get ready to look beautiful and just have fun!
2007-10-06 10:17:35 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
hey jules!
maybe ur getting married too soon? i dont think ur ready yet! take ur time! have a long engagement! enjoy it together...i think that if u just postpone the wedding for a bit, then maybe u will be able to see the bigger picture here. sit down and talk to him about it before the big day comes!!!!!! u owe it to urself and to ur relationship! if u love him? then let him know before...not after!
good luck sweetie!
2007-10-06 10:17:49 · answer #8 · answered by femz 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you feel like running now, then RUN!!!! It is not right to get married to someone you are feeling that way about. It is unfair to you but mostly very mean and unfair to him.
2007-10-06 10:15:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's probably just cold feet and I'm sure many people experience it before taking the plunge. If you love him stay and don't worry so darn much.
2007-10-06 10:15:40 · answer #10 · answered by robbodabbo2004 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋