What happen to..I do until forever until death do us part?

Question

No one takes marriage seriously anymore. Marriage has just become a experience or a show and tell type of thing. Where's the love? real love? Real family? Where did it go and why?

Mean carleen: here's your answer sweety.
I believe in love. I believe love conquers all. No ones perfect. We all make mistakes. I dont really know what I'll do if I caught my husband living a double life. But usually we know what we're getting into before marriage. So if your going to put up with it before I do, put up with it after I do. Or look before you leap. Get to know a person. Make sure that the person is right for you. Marriage shouldn't be taken lightly.

Marriage more than just kissing and making love.

I really like what you wrote thumber. :)
Thats part of what its all about

I really appreciate and enjoyed reading the feed back from all of you. thanks:)

Answer 1

I don't believe that "till death do us part" necessarily always meant happiness, true love, commitment, or intimacy at all. Just because marriages used to last doesn't mean those people were satisfied. I have a lot of older relatives that have been together for 30-50+ years that everyone applauds, and I think it is hilarious because they don't talk, kiss, and I don't ever see them laugh together. And nevermind the history of abuse and infidelity that everyone in my family knows about. In fact, I would go so far as to say that these people ruined each other's lives. I think marriage was always about status and show and tell, everyone just romanticizes it, it disgusts me. I am not saying that monogamy is the problem, either, it's the idea that marriage is somehow more sacred than any other relationship when all I see is married people looking miserable and giving up on new experiences together. Relationships are only as good as what you put into them. Family and societal pressure to conform can't make a relationship incredible, only the two people can. I have been with the same man for 10 years, we are not married, and very happy, even with all our downs in the past. And I know for a fact that we have more fun, intimacy, sacredness, and commitment in our relationship than any of our married friends or family (who I had to go buy a wedding present for, by the way!). We both agree that a wedding would just be a party for us (nothing wrong with that, celebrating is good) and wouldn't change a thing!
I think the problem is too many people get married for the wrong reasons, imagining that it does something magical for their lives that you can already do for yourselves. The bottom line is it's only about status and conformity, and if that's important to people, then go ahead.

Answer 2

You say that no one takes marriage seriously anymore. I have been married for 22 years and I take my marriage vows very seriously. You have to be willing to work on your marriage every single day. It is supposed to be a 50/50 proposition, give and take. Sometimes one partner has to give more than the other but in the long run it all works out. At lot of people enter marriage with unrealistic expectations and when things don't work out the way they want or expect, they are unable to weather out the bad times. It is so easy in this day and age to file for and get a divorce that no one is really willing to go in for the long term. Perhaps they weren't mature enough for the responsibilities, perhaps they lost a child and instead of growing together during that time of sorrow they grew apart. There are any reasons why divorce happens. Back in the "olden days" family was important, but alas that is no longer the case in this day and age of modern technology. Most families are a two income family because the economy has increased so much over the years that one parent can't support a family any longer. So the children are the ones that suffer because they don't have a stay-at-home parent to supervise their activities after school or on the weekends. We are much too permissive society today. If some of the children had to do the things that our parents had to do: work on a farm, walk back and forth to school (5 miles one way), etc., they wouldn't be able to do it. You have society to thank for the way things are today.

Answer 3

I truly meant those words when I got married. I think as others have said that times have changed. People (women) are less dependent upon a man to provide these days. We became roomates and then nothing. Honestly if I had stayed in the relationship I would have died. I had already died emotionally and spiritually. I continued to work on my life and try to better myself, while my ex just existed. It was sad but counseling hadn't done anything, talking was one sided, and he didn't have much to contribute. I realized that I couldn't fix this and had to end it. I am sorry though and never imagined myself divorced. Time heals all wounds or so they say. I have been completely honest with another human being letting them in where I had hidden most of myself away and have been deceived and let down. I doubt that I will ever love anyone that deeply again. Sorry for the downer. I decided to end it so that I could live.

Answer 4

You are absolutely right about that. Where did it go? Well, if you ask me, it's "a race to the bottom". In the United States, everyone seems to want instant pleasure and they want it faster and faster. They also seek self-gratification. We live in a selfish society today. Everyone is only interested in the Superficial...what's on the "outside" matters more than what is on the inside...and that leaves us with no foundation as a society. Our society has Moms and Dads working to support the family...so children are left to figure things out for themselves. This is how the "family unit" starts to breakdown. Moms can't stay at home (unless they are rich) and so children aren't taught the traditional family values that families need to succeed. Parents are just overworked or too busy...eventually, these children grow up to be adults without values and the whole cycle repeats.
Our society is more interested in what Britney Spears is wearing or what Paris Hilton is doing than watching the news to see what is going on in our Country. If our family structure keeps crumbling in the United States we will have a broken Society...and eventually a broken Country.
Instant gratification...it is everywhere...like I said..."a race to the bottom." So sad, but true.

Answer 5

I don't think that marriage isn't taken seriously anymore, but values and culture has changed, and divorce is on the rise globally.

Here's my theory: women used to be more willing to accept a lot of things that they would not (and should not) accept now. Nor should they have accepted it back in the days, but because of the influence of society and the way a divorced woman was regarded, women chose to stay in lousy marriages (in spite of neglect, abuse, affairs, lack of love, etc. etc. etc.) Now that women are more aware of their rights, and society's view of a divorce woman has changed, women aren't afraid to walk out of a bad marriage.

Reason for my theory: I will use the case of my country, Egypt. When they made a new law a few years ago, that made it a lot easier for women to get divorced (it became a lot quicker, but women had to give up quite a bit financially), so many women got divorced (many from older generations too, this is not a case about the young generation). Divorce was always easy for men (in Egypt), but the rate of divorce wasn't high. Once the process was made easy for women, the divorce rate went up.

So to sum up, I think men need to work a lot harder in marriages. Women are less willing to be treated the way they used to, which they have every right to. Historically, it's the role of women that has been changing, not men, and it's going to affect marriages. Instead of looking at it as an increase in divorce, we can look at it as a decrease in unhappy failing marriages.

and there are still many happily married couples, young and old, where both partners are treated with the respect they deserve...

Answer 6

due to the fact that divorces are so easy to get today, and there are no consequences in the court system anymore when one spouse betrays the other and destroys the marriage. its due to a change of belief in god and morals and belief systems. unfortunately love only lasts as long as the honeymoon stage, and than people think that they can base their love on their feelings rather than deciding to stay in the marriage and work out the problems. most people today have no idea how to handle problems and think it is easier to just throw someone away without ever even trying. people are alot more selfish today than they use to be, alot less understanding.most people just don't want to put the hard work into mending a marriage, due to laziness, and selfishness. real families do have problems but some people think everything is suppose to be wonderful all of the time, so when their expectations don't meet their reality they choose to move on rather than deal with it.

Answer 7

society; internet; cell phones; instant gratification; to name a few.
Not everyone gets to know what they were getting before they got married. often the true nature of a marraige is AFTER the wedding when one seems to act as though they have done all they needed to do (to snag a spouse) and resort back to old ways that are not marriage supportive. Choices have expanded, the world is @ our finger tips, people are living longer and not taking as much crap from a spouse. Especially women from men.

Answer 8

I feel that living together without the benefit of marriage has become so commonplace that the sanctity of the together until you die idea of marriage does not exist anymore. The morals have changed. The ideas of the easy, loose living together attitude has changed the past ideal of marriage being happily ever after until you die.

Answer 9

I take marriage seriously, at least, my own. Til death do us part, true love, all of it.
It's just no longer valued by our culture in general, because marriage has nothing to do with instant gratification. That is all we truly seem to value.

Answer 10

Personally that phrase should be remove from vows because those vows mean that NO MATTER what your spouse does, you will remain with them for the rest of your or their life...THATS BULLSH*T and NO ONE in their right mind could or would do that. Your asking the question but let me ask you..if you found our your spouse had a secrect mistress and 2 babies (his) with her across town in a house he paid for for the last 3 years....would and could YOU stay with him.....tell me about til death due us part now???