My friend's gay and his parents are super-strict Roman Catholics. They hate gay people and he knows this because they've said homophobic stuff before.
So anyway, we were round at his and his dad came into his room and caught him with his boyfriend. He was grounded for a week and they made him promise he would never do it again. But then last week they caught him again, this time it was in the park and they were driving past. They went absolutely crazy and said if he couldn't stop he couldn't live with them. So he's spent the last week staying at friends houses. They said he could come back when he's "come to his senses".
So basically, they just won't accept that he's gay at all. And it's really dumb, because he's still going to the school that they're paying for. My parents are catholic as well, but I'm sure they wouldn't do that to me.
So what should he do? Apologise and try to live with them (I don't really see any way that he can), or just leave home? He's only 16. Any advice?
2007-10-06 08:49:17 · 21 answers · asked by Emma :) 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Here in the UK you can live on your own at 16. So technically he's not a minor
2007-10-06 09:02:05 · update #1
If he's gay, he's gay.
If his parents can't accept and appreciate him the way he is then they won't be able to live together. If he apologises, then he's denying himself and he has to live through years of suppression.
If he feels that he could suppress his sexuality until he can find a way to not rely on his parents for substinence and that he could live comfortably by himself, then he should suppress his urges (I admit this is not the most integral way of doing things but then again he's only 16).
If he feels strongly about his sexuality (I applause for his efforts if he does so), then he should move out and find support from homeless organisations unless his mates are willing to support him until he can support himself.
Good luck
2007-10-06 09:35:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-21 06:17:19 · answer #2 · answered by Erika 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would advise him to start getting the EMA (Education Matainace Allowance) as living on his own and in full time education, he could get £30 a week plus bonus'. I think it is unlikely his parents will accept him whilst he's gay so, I would advise him to live there until he's got enough money saved to get his own place and live on. I would advise him to get a part time job as well - not a saturday job as he just won't earn enough. I do cleaning 2 hours after school in the school and get £232 pounds a week which isn't bad but I don't get EMA. I don't think people should start calling them bad parents - they aren't they are just so into their religion, they follow it word by word. I am Roman Catholic too but i wouldn't kick my son out if he was gay. I really do think he should apply for a job asap because there's only so long he can stay on friends floors. All the best!
2007-10-07 04:22:21 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As I was reading your question I'm thinking my Mother of 83 isn't like that she would accept it only the further I read I'm thinking that there is something not right and I'm right. He is at school so he is a minor and sorry but as an open minded catholic parent I'm not surprised his parents are like what they are it's their child doing things in their house and then catching him in the park, forget about the catholic any parent would be concerned when he is a child cause that's what he is, my son is 29 and has 2 children if he came to me at 20 and told me he was gay I'd accept it, they are parents just doing their best for their child.
In fact I think if you check at 16 a gay relationship is illegal
2007-10-06 09:00:04 · answer #4 · answered by Bernie c 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wow, how religious of them to be so judgemental and "hate" homosexuals..(note the sarcasm) if I were your friend I would go to the police bc it's against the law to kick your child out under the age of 18. He is still their responsibility by law whether they like it or not!
Good luck to your friend.
**EDITED TO ADD MORE INFO**
Well then, I stand corrected, I did not know of the laws in the UK, I thought you were in the states, but now that I know I'd say that it will be his parents loss for disowning their own flesh and blood over something that clearly he cannot control. I really hope this doesn't mess him up, once again good luck!
2007-10-06 08:55:24 · answer #5 · answered by chichibaby 5 · 7⤊ 0⤋
Its not his fault. Many gay people can't help it. He can't help his sexuality. Im 14 so understand where you are comming from. His parents should be the most sopportive. not the least. I think he should talk to them and if his parents don't want to understand then ignore then. Tell then that he'll just move out. Some parents need just to understand. Tell your friend im sorry. I hope this helps!
♥ blair
2007-10-06 09:01:04 · answer #6 · answered by Blair W ♥ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
or They seem very small minded people who need educating.
It might be that your friend could find support from his GP one of the organisations that help young people. I knew of some people who turned off their TV when a black face came on. There are some ignorant and narrow minded people in this world. I suppose we should feel sorry for them, but it is difficult when others get hurt.
2007-10-06 08:59:59 · answer #7 · answered by Spiny Norman 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow. I know people that are gay. Actually I happen to be in a gay-straight alliance club at my school. I support gay people, and he can't help being gay, he was born like that. Mabey he just has to have a talk with them.
2007-10-07 01:49:57 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
that happened to my friend only he was a little older so this may not help but moving out on his own is harsh so maybe a relitive may take him in? or his boyfriend's parents?
he has no reason to appologise, so no i dont think he should because his parents would take that as him admitting to being wrong and he's not
2007-10-07 03:05:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
jeez... im gay myself and thats the very reason why i havent come out to my parents. if i were him i would just apolagize and pretend i "came to my senses" i think thats all he CAN do unless he A either wants to live on the streets and B if a friend or family member will take him in
2007-10-06 09:41:14 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋