I have a best friend who I think is straight and I'm madly in love with him, but he doesn't know I'm gay. Him and his family are huge Christians but I have to have him! Thats all I can think about!
How do I make a move on him, or how do I know he is bi or wants
me??? HELP!!!
2007-10-06 08:07:09 · 36 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I'm gay and have a best friend who might be bi.
i can put my leg up agents his and he doesn't mind and he'll brush his hand agents mine but he
also has a girlfriend. how can i tell if he is bi or gay without out right asking him?
2007-10-06 09:25:02 · update #1
I would think that you, as a homosexual, would have a fairly good instinct about such things. So if you think he´s straight, he probably is. Thus, making a move on him is extremely unwise. So here´s my advice. Tell him your gay. Tell him and see how he reacts. If he´s okay with it, continue on with your friendship and if he has any homsexual tendencies, he´ll make the move.
2007-10-06 08:11:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 0⤋
How do you make a move on him? You don't!
This is just wrong. If he means so much to you, he shouldn't find out you're gay when you suddenly grab his crotch. He'll never trust you again and will be only too ready to believe all the nasty things his church may tell him about gay and lesbian people. You harm yourself and all homosexuals by doing this.
If he's a true friend you have to find the right time to tell him you're gay. And that shouldn't be sometime when you're sleeping over at each other's homes or sharing a hotel room. You've known this for a while, he may need time to process this information, and you need to have a non-threatening situation so it doesn't look like you expect him to put out. But don't make it some place where he could scream out and make a scene.
Gay or straight, if he is your friend treat him with respect. You might get it back. If it turns out he's gay or curious, then maybe you can suggest hooking up, but don't make that part of your coming out.
2007-10-06 08:14:53 · answer #2 · answered by brian s 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Why even bother? I don't understand why gay people have this mission in life to sleep or "turn" a straight person gay. If you know for sure he is gay, then go for it. But if you don't, keep your friendship. If you "have to have him," I would take a step back and look at the big picture- We can't have everything in life and if he isn't gay and you make a move, he could take it the wrong way. Why not just try having a simple conversation with him about sexuality and see where it goes? In the mean time, just chill out and appreciate that he is your friend.
2007-10-06 10:45:13 · answer #3 · answered by RJ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok. Wouldn't you rather have him as a friend that not be around him at all?
You shouldn't do anything that will scare him away. If he really is a huge christian, then he probably won't feel the same way as you. Maybe you should first tell him about yourself, and see what he thinks about it. One of my college friends was gay and his best friend was straight, and they got along fine.
Just speaking from experience....My friends and I were friends with a girl who was very tomboy-ish. We thought that was just the way she was, but didn't think anything of it. Then she started trying to make moves on us! We just didn't feel comfortable around her anymore. I mean, I have no problem being friends with gay people, but it is just hard to be friends with someone when you know they liked you are something more.
2007-10-06 08:14:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he is your best friend then you should tell him you are gay - as long as you think it is safe to do so.
He doesn't know the real you (yet) so how can he be a 'best friend' ?
Why doesn't he know you are gay if you are such good friends?
maybe he knows or suspects you are and doesn't mind? Who knows.
If you come out to him you can take it from there ...
Most straight guys I have come out to have remained friends but automatically make it clear that they are straight and there is your answer. If you want to keep him a a friend then don't make any advance on him unless he shows interest.
i don't think one-way love and friendship can mix.
2007-10-06 08:24:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does he know you're gay? If I were you, I would just bring up the fact that you're gay, and somehow slip in the question if he's gay. If he's gay/bi, make a move just like you would if you were at a gay bar. But if he's straight, just back off, and find another man. I hope it all works out for you (and maybe him). ;)
2007-10-06 08:13:13 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is the great tragedy of being gay. You are attracted to men...but many men and not gay, and would become violent if you made a move on them. Or they would not be your friend anymore. Many straight men are homophobic...this is why gay men get beat up all the time.
You have to discipline yourself and learn to pursue only other gay men. You find them at gay bars and gay hangouts.
It's called cruising.
It is just not safe to cruise straight men.
I know it is fun to fantasize about it. But remember that he is straight, and him having sex with you and feeling good about it is not very likely.
It is a tragic thing, in that respect.
2007-10-06 08:12:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
Okay, for a start. Ignore everyone who has come here to bash you and your life. People that cannot accept homosexuality, that is their problem and not yours and it should not be tolerated or listened to. So don't ;)!
As for your question, I can extremely understand your point of view but sexuality causes problems and creates a horrible boundary line. And I'm sorry to say, you're never going to secretly check to see if he likes you. I fell for a straight guy and in the end it nearly destroyed our friendship. Your friendship is worth more than your desires and so I suggest you tell him if you can, but respect his decision.
If he's not interested, tell him you understand and you will gladly respect his decision and it won't infringe on your friendship. If he says yes, congratulations.
As for everyone else, you should be absolutely disgusted in yourselves. This is a page for helping peoples problems, if you want to preech or throw your biggoted opinions around, do it somewhere else. Reading peoples responses on this page literally made me feel ill.
2007-10-06 08:19:11 · answer #8 · answered by Kiss L 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get ready to loose a friend and feel like a huge fool. Do not do it. Especially they are huge christians..my goodness you are against what good christians believe to be just part of life.Dont you see all the people asking questions pertaining to being gay in the religious section, how they are always trying to cure a gay. Do not do it.
2007-10-06 08:11:18 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
Treat him like you would treat a boyfriend (minus kissing, etc and don't over do it). See how he responds. If he doesn't seem freaked out, try some MINOR physical contact. Go slow, but be a little bit obvious. Look at him a little longer than you normally would to see if he looks away. Give this part of your strategy some time to work before you actually say anything to him .. you don't wanna freak him out before you get him to subconsciously consider it. Trust me, I'm straight but I had a girlfriend, so I'm not just saying this because I think know ... I know. :-)
2007-10-06 08:14:42 · answer #10 · answered by Eagiusti 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋