when you find someone you really care for, and regard him/her as your young sibling, and you're keen to advise them to what is right and what is wrong............... but still they are not honest with themselves, lie to "themselves" , breaking their hearts with their own hands , and don't want to face the truth and the reality that they will never change the situation and just live in a dream of their own imagination where everything is unbalanced and the end is known............... ?!!
how do you feel ?? and how could i help, when advice is not heard anymore and is escaped ??
i sympathise such people so much, and feel so sorry for being unable to help them, for they destroy themselves by their own hands !!
how do you react towards these people ?!!
2007-10-06 07:50:16 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Travel ➔ Africa & Middle East ➔ Egypt
you do what you can and reality is you can't force them so give yourself credit for sympathizing and trying to help, and let it be known to them that they can always when they want to, turn to you, you never know, sometimes people need time for things to sink in, to think, and if you really care then you should be tolerant and forgiving, that's how you get a real chance at helping them, keep ties and also put in mind that advice especially when given out bluntly and straightforward isn't always welcomed, try different approaches, you can relate stories give examples in a clever indirect way, has to be spontaneous and not too consistent
when you want your child to eat an apple have one yourself chew onto it with pleasure instead of ordering them: eat it, it's good for you! :)
have patience, an open mind and a welcoming heart always, it builds trust
2007-10-06 08:10:13 · answer #1 · answered by Sahar 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
This is a very wise question Nada. It happened to me many times. It's really a bad feeling when you can see and understand the situation clearly and the person you advise may not listen to you and consider you kind of annoying person.
Our duty as humans is to make tell the advice and make it simple and clear for the other to understand it. If you can help later it's fine. Nothing you can do more. It's not obligatory to take the advice, but it's good always to listen to all advices and think.
2007-10-13 14:53:04 · answer #2 · answered by Wise Heart 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I feel sorry for them and try for a second, a third,....... times, but let me tell you, Nada, that unfortunately, sometimes all our efforts to help such people are in vain, I don't want to discourage you but I'm telling you about something happened to me, I found that some people just refuse to help themselves or even let others help them, it looks like they hate themselves. However, every time we should start from the beginning and be full of optimism and hope, this is all what we have and what we should do.
For those, who are like me, and find happiness in helping others, they can't give up for any reason even if the reason is that some don't want others to help them.
NEVER GIVE UP, YOUR EFFORTS ARE UP THERE IN THE HEAVEN, AND WILL BE ALWAYS THERE FOR YOU.
2007-10-06 08:59:46 · answer #3 · answered by Green visitor is back :D 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If that person is young it worth to be more patient and give it another chance.
Sometimes advising and teaching young and immatures is hard task like plowing the earth plant the seeds, give water and hopefully you will see positive results.
That persons whom you care about may not show direct and quick reactions and results and good advice will settle in her mind and if she has a goodwill to learn some day she will get benefit of what you gave to her.
However if that person is persisting on his wrong attitude, then you have to be realistic and stop wasting your time, maybe you can invest it with other persons who are more promising .
2007-10-06 09:12:58 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I can't believe this, but you are describing something I went through with a friend ... and just a few hours ago she told me that I was right all along and that she was heartbroken and hurt.
I believe that all you can do is to be there for your friends when they need you. Don't say "I told you so" and start blaming and nagging. Just be a good friend and help them get over the whole thing. I told her that what happened was really for the best and that it was her gain, not a loss. Painful experiences are best put behind you. Just learn your lesson from them, don't waste time obsessing over what could have been and prolonging your suffering. Rabina yihdeena gamee3an.
2007-10-06 17:26:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
People like to be free and do what they like. What you can do for a friend is to give advice. And give it "one time" only. Anything more than one becomes really annoying.
Then, you need to forget about it. If you really like those people, you have to be their friend no matter what.
One does not befriend people because they are on the right track. Your friendship should be unconditional. You gave your advice once, after that you need to drop it and just be there for support.
Maybe you too do not agree on the defintion of "what is best for them".
Maybe for them, their way of life is the best choice they want to make.
I believe the best friend is the one who is always there, yet the one who gives you personal freedom and does not try to change your personality.
2007-10-06 11:50:05 · answer #6 · answered by Ismaily Rules 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Pray for them and continue to advise them unless you feel that you cannot take it anymore then just pray and pray some more, be an example. You never know, they may turn around one day even if it seems as though it will never happen.
Don't lose hope!
Above is what I try to do but alas...sometimes I just get too upset!
2007-10-06 10:02:47 · answer #7 · answered by Sassafrass 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if this answer will make you feel better walla eeh... I was at your sibling's place unfortunately or fortunately maybe god knows.. and of course I was treating the dear one advising me as she doesn't understand and know anything khales and I continued in the wrong path for sometime, she was praying out loud for me infront of me and men waraya too! Rabbena answered her prayers and I discovered that all are illusions (ba3d ma akhadt darba gamda fo2 rassi) and till now I can't forget what happened and it was one of the best lessons i have ever had in my entire life :) if you really pray for your sibling, Inshallah Rabbena haystagib :) good luck
2007-10-06 14:11:03 · answer #8 · answered by Roush 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think what's most important is to listen to them. Once you've heard her out completely, she'll be more ready and willing to listen to you. And really hear her out, you need to be more understanding about the course of actions she wants to take as well. Maybe when you talk it through, you'll understand her perspective, or you'll be better able to explain your point of view to her. Forcing your opinion on her won't help. Like "Sahar" said, instead of saying "Eat the apple", bite into it...i think that was well-said. Point is talking to her is fine, as long as you're willing to listen and try to understand where she's coming from, why she thinks the way she does...
2007-10-06 09:21:33 · answer #9 · answered by nick-a-name 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i am the girl who break my heart on my own hand, because i am so self-centre and think i can make a different, but one day, i realize that i am just a stupid woman who doesn't see the reality.
you can't change anything unless they want to. just because you want to help them, but it doesn't mean they want your help, somehow you find them to dislike you or find you annoying. it is better to advise them once and leave them alone and let them to handle it.
being hurt is part of life experience that nobody can avoid, at least not you and me as a human being.
2007-10-06 19:05:11 · answer #10 · answered by Tracy But 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋