Guys you know what? i feel i need talk to him about this issue. This morning he ask me to borrow money to him for gasoline, it wasn't lot money, but i don't feel right. Later i found out his bank statement shows 11 times over-drafted charges, two out of his 4 credit cards are charging over-limite and late fees. Plus together he got about $600 just for those penalty fees. He is screwing up!!we being living together about 3 months, is that too early to talk about these? or consider that is all his money and problems, should i just stop worrying too much and leave it alone. He is about 11 years older than me, i thought he knew about those better than i do. Bills should be paid on time, otherwise don't spend money to invite friends come to a expensive lunch, get a Iphone and purchase a $500 game station craps he never ever use. I am sure he will be in debt soon if he don't stop. How should i talk to him, will it embarance him?
2007-10-06 06:39:28 · 6 answers · asked by silentpath2003 2 in Business & Finance ➔ Personal Finance
First, stop loaning him money. Don't let him have your credit card or a cell phone on your account. And don't co-sign with him for anything.
If you're living together, are both names on the lease? And can you afford the rent without him? Chances are he will be short for rent and utilities and you will be footing the whole bill. Even if you throw him out, you will still be responsible for the lease.
Oh and don't have any kids with him. You'll be raising them alone and chasing him for child support.
Since it sounds like you want to keep him, although he sounds like a loser to me, be direct with him about his finances. Offer to help him set up a budget and work on paying off his bills. Give him a book on budgets. If he takes offense, I don't think you've lost much.
2007-10-06 07:37:40 · answer #1 · answered by bdancer222 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, this is a bit of a tricky situation since you are not married. When you are only bf/gf and you don't actually have your finances combined, it makes it a little bit more difficult to comment on the other person's spending habits. However, there are some things that I believe you can do.
When you talk to him, it needs to come across the right way. This means it should not be done in a condescending or even angry manner. He should see that your motive behind talking to him is that you are worried about him and you love him. Start off by saying that although you are younger than him, you have made your fair share of financial mistakes. Everyone has, just some more and worse than others. Tell him about any struggles you have had in the past and how you overcame them. It will then be apparent that you are not being condescending or looking down on him. Sit in front of him, take his hands in yours, look him in the eye and tell him how important this is to you. Let him know that you feel that the happy future you have together is threatened by this issue. Once he sees that you aren't being condescending and are talking to him because you love him, it should register him that his behavior is desctructive.
Although I am not sure about the level of your relationship, keep these things in mind.
I hope this helps!
2007-10-06 06:50:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Even smart people get into problems with money. He may not realize the extent of the debt. l would suggest you simply "ask" about the bills. Part of living together is learning about each others habits. If your planing on making this a long term relationship or marriage, it is in your best interest to learn about this now. l would suggest that you take over the job of paying the bills and let him put together a budget that you both can live with.
2007-10-06 07:47:32 · answer #3 · answered by rpf5 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
News flash honey....he is already in debt, and he's going to start taking you down with him. If you're not comfortable enough to tell him to stop acting like a child and start handling money responsibly like an adult, then you shouldn't be playing house with him.
By the way, creditors can take their money he owes them directly out of his paycheck if they win a judgment against him. This means you will be out the money he is earning. Also, if he is writing bad checks, eventually he can go to jail for that. Then youll be alone, and have to work 2 jobs to support yourself because hes not earning anymore.
I had the same exact issue with my ex husb who was 7 yrs older than me. He pulled me into debt little by little without me even realizing it, and I went from having perfect credit to filing bankruptcy within 2 years. Now he's long gone, I kicked his *** to the curb, and I can't get a car loan to save my life. Don't make the same mistake I did.
Tell him to shape up or gtfo.
2007-10-06 06:51:26 · answer #4 · answered by boots6 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Having common financial goals is at least as important as children and more so than sex. Do yourself a favor. Kick the bum out or you're headed to a life in a trailer park living paycheck to paycheck. Title loan companies and pawn brokers will become your saviors.
Don't believe the loser when he swears that he will change. Grow a spine.
2007-10-06 07:01:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
this guy dont know how to handle money. he needs help.
http://www.daveramsey.com
for free help.
2007-10-06 06:47:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋