Two old ladies were rocking in their chairs on the nursing home porch. One says "Martha, do you remember the minuet?" Martha answers "Heck, I don't even remember the ones I slept with."
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Sadie wakes up and says to her husband, "Jake, I'm dead". Jake responds. What's the matter with you, Sadie, you aren't dead. You're talking to me." "No, Jake, I'm definitely dead". "Sadie, you are not dead. Why do you think you're dead" Sadie responds, "Because nothing hurts"
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A very healthy, spry-looking 95-year-old man moves into a nursing home. He walks up to a frail looking man walking down the hall with a walker, and says: "How old do you think I am?" The man answers: "I'd say 60." "Nope, I'm 95!" the man boasts. Down the hall, he sees a woman in a room watching TV from a wheelchair & walks up to her and asks her to guess his age. Right away she unzips his fly & fondles him for a few minutes, then looks at him and says: "You're 95." The man looks at her incredulously and asks: "How did you know that?" She shrugs and says: "I heard you tell the fellow in the hall."
2007-10-06 05:30:38 · 15 answers · asked by Croeso 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Senior Citizens
I CANNOT PICK A BEST ANSWER, I'M LEAVING UP TO YOU GUYS,THEY'RE ALL REALLY GREAT ANSWERS.I WISH I COULD GIVE YOU ALL 10.
THANKS GUYS
2007-10-06 09:50:18 · update #1
PM ; I have an hour long gig available on Saturday Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday at McTealc Towers for a comic of your genius - the pay aint good but the company is fantastic!
And if you could just help the Aussie lass in the morning with the room cleaning that would be just dandy!
2007-10-06 05:50:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
i could could merely say no, I propose, if a man or woman can't take hairspray or a bottle of shampoo on board at the instant i could could think of that a metallic merchandise does not be allowed the two. Grrrr! (((Go8tm))) Dangit! I used all my brains cells interior the final question, i'm clueless! Yeah, i comprehend, enormous ask your self, lol! : / enable me take yet yet another wager, is it lead from a pencil? Lol, this little pencil is gazing me in this container conversing approximately "Oops! It looks such as you have 4 misspelling(s). HA! No i don't,..do I? question,...Can it mirror something like easy or despite the fact that?
2016-11-07 10:39:31 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They are all good but the third one had me creased up.I'll book into that nursing home when I'm 95 and hope that lady is still there.
2007-10-06 05:44:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Loved them......How about this one?.......An elderly man walks into a confessional. The following conversation ensues:
Man: "I am 92 years old. I have a wonderful wife of 70 years, children, grandchildren & great-grandchildren. Yesterday I picked up 2 college girls hitchhiking We went to a motel where I had sex with each of them 3 times!"
The priest said, "Are you sorry for your sins?"
Man, "What sins?"
Priest, "What kind of a Catholic are you?"
Man, "I'm Jewish."
Priest: "Why are you telling me all this?"
Man:" I'm 92 years old.....I'm telling everybody!!!!"
2007-10-06 06:16:35 · answer #4 · answered by shermynewstart 7 · 7⤊ 0⤋
Ssssssshhhhh, I was the 95 year old.
2007-10-06 06:47:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
That number three appeals to me What is the address of the nursing home and do you know the room number?
2007-10-06 05:51:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
PeeMee! You shock me!!
You must be trying to rack up a few violation notices from Yahoo, eh?
2007-10-06 05:44:25 · answer #7 · answered by Susie Q 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I hadn't heard the third one before - very funny!
2007-10-06 05:37:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Cute.
2007-10-06 06:04:34 · answer #9 · answered by curious connie 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hilarious!!!!
2007-10-06 09:06:03 · answer #10 · answered by ndnquah 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋