im married for 10 yrs.but,i met my long lost crush in high school who is also married now. We go on dating & turned into a deeper relationship for 5 months now. We attempted to separate last 3 months ago but we failed.We even asked God's help for us because we cannot help ourselves anymore but to love each other. Lately,he wanted us to live together and leave his wife because as what he said to me that all the qualities he wanted for a wife are in me. The problem is I also love him. I dont want to hurt him? What should i do?
2007-10-06 04:51:04 · 14 answers · asked by elgr 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
How would you feel if it were your husband doing this to you? I think he deserves better than this. Stop sneaking around and either end the affair or bring it out in the open. You can't have both!
2007-10-06 05:01:16 · answer #1 · answered by Badkitty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I was going to say get pissed off at him for trying to break up your marriage, but in reading your whole post, I guess it's a bit late for that.
You have a tough decision to make. Who do you love more, and who do you see yourself with years down the line.
I would caution you that just like any pair of oversexed teenagers thinking the world isn't fair because they can't be together at 15 or 16, a 5 month relationship is not mature enough to base the rest of your life upon. Even if this guy was your crush a decade or better ago, he's not that same guy now, and you both might be seeing each other through those teen age eyes of so many years ago.
So you have to decide. husband? or old crush. Either way act honorably, and set whomever looses free.
2007-10-06 13:21:38 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are any children involved? If so then you can't do this to your husband and his wife. Talk to a counsellor and see if you can work through this without your husband knowing. 5 months isn't really a long time - will it really last past the two year mark when the honeymoon period is over? Stick with what you have now and 10 years is nothing to sneeze at. Your husband doesn't deserve this!
2007-10-06 12:04:27 · answer #3 · answered by curiouscanadian 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you had asked that question 5 months earlier, you would have been warned that you were heading for troubles and to leave well enough alone.
Now, are you sure you want to hear peoples' opinions?
If you have children, are you ready to break thier heart?
Well, only you know what you're leaving behind and what you may be getting into.
For some people it's sometimes the best thing they ever did;
For the majority, it's usually the worst mistake of their life.
Good luck.
2007-10-06 12:00:37 · answer #4 · answered by Kc 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You opened the door to this mess when you reconnected with him and let it lead to more than friendship. It could have been handled in the proper manner; allowing your husband to meet him; all of you becoming friends. But no; you both went over the line and now you are facing the consequences of it all. Are you both willing to hurt your spouses more than anyone can ever be hurt in life? Are you both willing to deal with divorce, separation from any children, dealing with the ex's and all that comes with it? You think you have problems now, well if you both decide you must have each other, no matter who it harms, you will find the grass is not only not greener; it is brown, burnt and withered.
2007-10-06 12:14:23 · answer #5 · answered by pussycat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it not the matter how much you love each other!! now there are others involved. The issue also includes how much your husbad laoves u.. how much u love your husband.. and the same ques for your crush's family!! as he has asked you to live alone with him, he doesnt seem to be so loving towards his wife.. but whats the guarantee that he will not leave you for some other lost crush of his? the most sensible answere would be.. if you love your husband and he loves you.. just dont think about any other guy.. and even your husband doesnt seem to be loving you.. let this guy who is ready to part his long accompalice for you not be the one!!
2007-10-06 11:59:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is different, but you could try it. Your long lost crush knows that you still sleep with your husband. You could try letting your husband know about this man. You could try telling him that you need both of their physical love. Maybe you could just go out on a date with your long lost crush, then when the date is over, your husband will be joyfully waiting for you to come home and make love to him after wards. Be sure to tell him how great the sex was with the other guy.
2007-10-06 13:07:25 · answer #7 · answered by K M 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetheart cut your loses with him and try cold turkey putting you into your marriage................... Long lost love were lost for a reason! If God saw fit for you to make it then you would've! Keep in mind if you have children that you are destroying them and your family with this relationship and if he has kids, then you are destroying his as well! Let him and his wife deal with there issues don't pursue him because things always seem picture perfect in forbidden relationships but they need to be just that forbidden!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Think about it!!!!!!! Also have more respect for yourself!!!!!!!!!! Being married your not the jump-off and I am sure you don't want to be anyone's jump off..............................
2007-10-06 12:53:23 · answer #8 · answered by rita_hiemy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get A Life!!!
Think of someone but yourself.
Do your spouses a favor and give them a divorce so they can move on with their lives. You to deserve each other.
2007-10-06 12:38:38 · answer #9 · answered by Steven E 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everything he wanted in a wife is you?Someone who is cheating and sleeping around?He is as sick as you are.Get a divorce and marry the guy you deserve each other!
2007-10-06 12:05:30 · answer #10 · answered by notagain49 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋