I'm 22 years old, I've been married for 7 months. He's in the army, we live in Colorado, originally from Indiana. For the past 3 months (on and off), things have been rocky and I have considered leaving. We didnt date before we got married, we went from best friends to engaged and a month later to being married. I have never really felt married, we don't have a good sex life and its not getting any better. We have no money ever. We're not romantic. When we are being friends then things are fun and laughing and good, but when it comes time to be a married couple (sex, money, kids etc.) there is friction between us, and thats when stress and doubts come in. I have been open with him about how I have been feeling and have repeatly said "Maybe we're just meant to be friends" "If we do break up, I want us to be friends, I don't want to get to the point we hate each other". and he has agreed. His birthday is coming up and the holidays....should i stay until those are over?
2007-10-06 04:45:01 · 6 answers · asked by rachel 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
or should i go home and find myself and see if we are better off seperate? Lately I feel I am being manipulated by him. I told him repeatly over the past week how bored and lonely I feel, and yet I found myself sitting at home alone while he was out with his friends....and I was at home feeling guilty.....I don't really know how that happened, but I find myself feeling guilty all the time.
2007-10-06 04:47:09 · update #1
We have no kids, I got off birth control then decided to get back on. I have told him we should get into marriage conseling in order to start our marriage off right, seeing as how we rushed getting married, but he never did it, and I have asked multiple times.
2007-10-06 05:01:01 · update #2
You should go.
2007-10-06 05:44:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I meet my hhusband and three months later we got married and have been married for 18 years. Just because i meet and married my best friend and it is working great doesnt mean it will for everyone you have to consider both of your feelings and make the choice before you start hating each othermarriage is hard but worth it if you are with the right person and only you two know that answer down in your hearts good luck no matter what you decide
2007-10-06 05:10:27 · answer #2 · answered by redishong 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's disrespecting you and not showing that he wants to make this marriage work, then leave as soon as possible. When you wrote that he was out partying with his friends, even after you told him that you were bored and lonely, that meant alot of things. That means he's not loving, respecting, taking care and trying to make you happy. It seems to me that if you've been telling him how you feel and he's just ignoring you, then he doesn't love you. Well, only love can keep the marriage together.
I would be on my way. If he doesn't want to take care of his wife and their marriage, then you have to take care of yourself. You can still be friends, because of the children and that would be very smart. Just move on and try to live a great life for you and the children. Good Luck and God Bless
2007-10-06 04:58:08 · answer #3 · answered by Very Honest 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you guys really are just meant to be friends. That is a tough situation. Maybe try a trial seperation to see how it goes, how bad you miss him, how bad he misses you. Ang go from there. Hopefully this hasn't turned you against one another, that would be a shame. I'm a firm believer that if you're not happy with someone and they just dont do it for ya, get out and find someone that does. But maybe dont be so fast to say 'I do' next time. Go slow and make for sure the next one is the right one.
2007-10-06 04:59:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's great when your husband is also your best friend...BUT..... just because you're friends does not mean it will work as a marriage. I had a couple of friends that were great together until they were married. Sometimes it's just not meant to be. It sounds like you'd both be happier not married to each other. You can part friends now, so why wait.
2007-10-06 05:01:17 · answer #5 · answered by LAL 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know what happened -- you rushed into a marriage before you got to know what this guy was about... so discussing money, future, kids never happened, and now you find yourselves at odds.
i hope you do what is best for you as soon as possible.. why prolong your agony and his?
take care.
2007-10-06 04:54:09 · answer #6 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋