my boyfriend and I have been talking about marriage - which led to an argument that has been ongoing. I really love this man, and I know that he loves me. However, I wanted to get married in 2009, he wants to get married asap. I want us to be around each other for a year going to marriage counseling and spending time together before we marry. He said he compromised for December of 08, but didn't mention that until we broke up. Then he wanted to move to washington after marriage. I have tried to compromise with him in many ways - he feels i'm not compromising, and I feel he's become different - he's really pushing his ideas and opinions - so I broke it off because I couldn't imagine saying yes with him being like this - I still love him, where do we go from here?
2007-10-06 04:00:44 · 10 answers · asked by CandiApple 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It doesn't sound like it's going to work for you. You both are set in your own ideas and NEITHER of you are bending. Love will not conquer all so I'd leave things as is.
2007-10-06 04:06:44 · answer #1 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Him being like what? This is supposed to be the guy you love s much and think you want to spend the rest of your life with and you cant even deal with him now? You better star understanding him and learn the fine art of compromising real quick if this relationship is to survive. Also you need pre marriage classes as marriage counseling is for those already married and trying to work out some marital indifferences, not trying to figure out if this guy is truly the one. Right now it looks like you want everything you way and arent even willing to try to compromise with him, so its either all you or nothing. Hes fighting you because of that exact attitude. Love alone in this relationship wont save it,especially when its one sided. Sit down and tell himyoure now willing to work with him tocome up with some amicable options and lay your ideas on the table along with his and find some common ground to which you two can build a lasting relationship. Good luck
2007-10-06 04:32:48 · answer #2 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well..... you broke it off! That means it's over. Maybe not so much huh? Compromise is a difficult idea. Easy to embrace when we are on the cat birds seat, but, not so much when we have a want or need, something that the other possesses. You need him, yet you feel the power of personal choice and are willing to veto any and all compromises he has set, for your own time table. True, you can set sail for calmer waters, but, something tells me you like the turbulence he puts to your ship! Listen, simply sit down and list all the pros and cons. If you can list nothing but the pros to stick to your guns, then you are lying to yourself. Compromise is nothing but a tool to use if it assists your time table. To tell you the truth, compromise is not necessarily always the best choice! If you are waiting till you are guaranteed security with a degree or better job, then it is a wise choice.
2007-10-06 04:24:22 · answer #3 · answered by delux_version 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go nowhere. Break away from him for good and start living again. Be thankful that you are away from the control freak. Waiting a year to get married to a sure sign that you want the marriage to work, and he's pushing too hard. Show him that you can move on with your life.
2007-10-06 04:07:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go with how you feel. NO one has the right to pressure you into marriage. I think 2009 is a great year. Ask him what's the rush? How old are the two of you? How long have you been dating? Do you need to finish school?
2007-10-06 04:25:18 · answer #5 · answered by navywife_2001 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not ready for marriage, and if he can't compromise you shouldn't give in to make him happy. A relationship is about compromise. Best of luck, the best thing for you two is to take a breather.
2007-10-06 04:09:17 · answer #6 · answered by Lisa D 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you all ready broke up?
and now he is rushing ( usually women are pressuring the guy.. that;s odd )
if you can't see the signs of desperation on both your parts
go ahead
get married
and then I'll sit here and watch your divorce
you both are not ready for it
and neither should be with one another
you need to find someone better suited
and he needs time to reflect on why the rush
2007-10-06 04:50:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Continue to see each other for a bit and see if you two learn to work on stuff. If your views stay different then you need to part ways.
2007-10-06 05:05:23 · answer #8 · answered by ronnny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try counseling and see if that will help but isn't it great knowing what type of person he is before you said I do
2007-10-06 04:08:22 · answer #9 · answered by oh_jo123 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you mean "where do we go from here"?
You broke it off, it's over. Move on.
2007-10-06 04:11:16 · answer #10 · answered by Spring 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋