well i've been married for 5 years now my husband has an anger management problem he is 6 feet tall and looks like a fooball player so it is pretty intimidatingwhen he gets mad over little things even if i ask what they saying in the news he will snap but this is being growing with time he wa better before but it seems that he is always strees out about anything and everything he has an streessing job that i understand but dont take it out on me that how i feel then he blames me for everything that goes wrong in our life its just i have to much guilt all the time my best friend tell me i can live the rest of my life this way but is soooooo hard to divorce because i love him even more than my self i worry about hes feelings a lot and i know he loves me a lot so bottom line is dont know what todo cause he says hes going to change but then goes back to old wayshes done a lot a thing to me but cheating he is very lawful to me he always home when hes not working .
2007-10-06 03:44:53 · 8 answers · asked by kat 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
His behavior is unacceptable, it's only a matter of time before he hits you. If you love him more than you love yourself, that's also a red flag. Hopefully you don't have any children with this man because it'll just get worse. You need to go to counseling to see why you don't feel that you're worthy, or that you don't deserve a healthy relationship. You shouldn't love someone more than you love yourself.
2007-10-06 04:13:14 · answer #1 · answered by Lisa D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in the very same situation as you are now. I have been married now to the same man for 24 years. When we first got married, he also had anger problems to the point where I was terrified to come home to him. I knew that he loved me, and even though he was this way, I still loved him.
He would always find a way to blame everything on me. No matter what it was, it was always my fault.
My husband does not have any family left. I am the only person left in his life besides our daughter and grandchildren.
In my case, it took a alot of prayers and heartache on his behalf to straighten him out.
You both have to work on your marriage if you want it to work. Try talking to him (I know it won't be easy), he'll probably get mad, but believe me, eventually he will think things thru later and come to realize that he is being a jerk.
If it gets to the point, you need to leave him for a while. Go to your family where you feel safe and secure.
Whatever you do, you need to trust your instincts. Do not let anyone tell you what you should do. After all, you have to be the one to make your own choices.
Yes, everyone was telling me to leavehim, that there was someone else out there that was better, but only you can make that choice.
In my case, I followed my heart. Sure, alot of close friends, relatives, even my daughter are still upset that I am still with him after what he has done to me thruout the years.
I am happy to say, that he is not the same person. PEOPLE CAN CHANGE IF THEY WANT TO. We have a happy marriage now and we don't even fight anymore. DO NOT BE AFRAID TO STAND UP TO HIM. Stay strong and trust in god. Without going into full details of our problems that we had and what he did , my situation had opened his eyes to what he was doing. It has been approximately 3 years now, and he still apologizes to me each and every day along with telling me how much he loves me. He is a completely different man!!
Good luck to you both.
2007-10-06 11:19:03 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its good that your trying to work things out. One thing you should definitely avoid is ABUSE. People can change. It's sad to see how long it takes. I was in a abusive relationship for about 3yrs. The only way I got him to stop; is by acting on my threats. I had always told him I was going to tell on him. That didn't stop him from doing anything. The only thing that stopped him was when I called the cops before he had gone too far. It's awful living in fear. I don't just don't mean physical abuse. There's also emotional abuse. You can only take so much. I had given up so many times. My father asked me one question; DO YOU THINK HE DESERVES A SECOND CHANCE! My answer to that was NO! But he did deserve a second chance with our children. If you feel you have given him plenty of times to change than you should think about moving on in good terms rather then leaving when you can't even stand to look at him.
2007-10-06 10:59:16 · answer #3 · answered by cyndi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs anger managment counseling. He can't change unless he gets profession help. If he loves you he will do that, if not you better do something or this is your life for the REST of your LIFE...That's a long time and will only seem longer if you are forced to live like this...
2007-10-06 11:00:44 · answer #4 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him how you feel in a calm moment and talk him into anger management classes or therapy. If he just wont listen, try to get friends and family to help talk him into it. If he ever, ever, does anything to put you in danger, don't be afraid to call the police. Never tolerate any kind of abuse.
2007-10-06 10:55:07 · answer #5 · answered by oracleofohio 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He knows you are going to put up with his behavior problem, so he's not going to change. Don't be a victim of his inability to control his emotions. He's a self-centered idiot and you are his fool. Either he gets therapy now, or he continues with his temper that he seems to enjoy hurting you with. It is only a matter of time before the abusive jerk strikes you.
2007-10-06 10:54:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
try some marriage counseling but you shouldn't have to live this way
2007-10-06 11:37:17 · answer #7 · answered by oh_jo123 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
cut him loose. you can find some one better
2007-10-06 10:53:30 · answer #8 · answered by matakovich602 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋