if u had a messed up childhood, parents divorced, almost no authority, and u have anxiety problems, and NO selfconfidence at all...is it impossible to ever become happy? is it impossible to ever gain SELFCONFIDENCE? I am 20yo and im afraid that for the next 30 years of my life ill end up throwing money on selfhelp books, and therapy that dont work, simply because it is impossible to ever change to being more positive and selfconfident, if u missed your chance in childhood! im COMPLETLY hopless, weak, and afraid. I HAVE NO SUPPORT( FAMILY OR WHATEVER)... shpuld i just end my life? because for me the only realistic thing is, that ill never get out of this...ill be miserable all life long, id only screw up peoples lifes...what should i do?
2007-10-04 21:56:00 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
the first thing you have to do is believe in yourself. you gain self confidence by doing that. i dont think im the best and greatest at just about anything, but i make sure to tell everyone i am. that does 2 things: 1. it makes people think that you are self confident and they will treat you different. 2. it will make you work to back up what your saying. after a while, it will just come. all self help books do is motivate you to, well, help yourself!! all you have to do is motivate yourself. its hard when you have no one backing you, but trust me, as long as you work your *** off and do things you enjoy, it wont matter. there are always negative aspects in your life. the key is to ignore those aspects as hard as you can and use that as your motivation. think of life as a game. you let everything keep you down and make you miserable, then they win. i dont know about you but i am really competitive and that works for me because i hate to lose. just find that something that motivates you, and use it to get through everything that you are going through. the most important part of it all is changing the way you think. you wont be miserable, you will be the best thing to happen to people, and this is nothing for you. until you start saying that and make yourself believe it, you are going to have a rough time. if you say it enough, you will start to believe it. start now.
go read a child called it by dave pelzer http://www.amazon.com/Child-Called-Childs-Courage-Survive/dp/1558743669/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/105-1483005-3197235?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1191583847&sr=8-1
if this guy can get through all that, you can do it.
2007-10-05 00:26:58 · answer #1 · answered by jay D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start loving YOURSELF. Stop wondering what's *wrong* with yourself.. Go out by yourself and do things you really enjoy. Imagine the possibilities! Stop focusing on yourself and start noticing other people & things. People survive messed-up childhoods all the time.
If you have the time, do some rewarding volunteering. Be a grandson to a senior who needs help, like running errands, or just calling to chat & asking if they need your help with anything. Go see an elementary school principal. Offer to come 2 afternoons a week and read to some classes. You will be permitting a busy teacher to go sit inthe corner & catch up on her paperwork. Help people. Visit a church and attend Sunday School. Be around people. Contact a local hospital & tell them you want to do some volunteer work. They'll be happy to have a helping hand.
Reach out & try some of this. I'd bet my last $ that you will feel better.
One more important thing. If you feel on the brink of suicide, go to a doctor or a clinic. Tell them you've had therapy & you are still depressed & suicidal. There are good medications to help you feel better.
Good luck to you.
2007-10-05 00:15:35 · answer #2 · answered by gulfbreeze8 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, yes, yes, not only is it possible it will. You may not realise it, but just by asking this question you are better off than many, you realise that there are options, possibilities. One day you will consider all these horrible things that have happened to you are advantages. It's the university of life, it equips you for life's ups and downs, you may think that people who have had a more stable, loving upbringing are more fortunate than you, in some ways they are, but when it comes to being equipped for life, you have the advantage. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, one day all the pieces will fit together and you will look back on all you have been through and instead of seeing yourself as a victim of circumstance you will realise you are a SURVIVOR. Be thankful to have had the opportunity to learn the things you have and look forward to the future, you control it, make it bright, be all you can and should be. Be kind, but learn to say no and do what is best for you, all around will benefit.
Find a good counsellor, if the first one doesn't float your boat, find another.
2007-10-04 22:30:42 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
Well I can tell you ending your life would only be the beggining of your problems. I had a real screwed up childhood too. Infact, I pretty much have no relationship with my parents anymore because they screwed me up so bad, and are doing the same thing with my siblings, who I had to take care of for a long time. If you don't want to be miserable, don't let it happen. Take control of your life. Be your own authority. You're old enough to know right from wrong, you don't need parents to teach you that. Go see a doctor who can help you get on anti-anxiety meds, and or anti-depressants. Focus on what you're good at and forget the stuff you're not. Write out some goals, then figure out what you have to do to reach them. Start out simple, and work your way up.As you reach your goals, you will find your self esteem began to rise. I've suffered alot with low self esteem, and the only thing that will help you, is focus on your good points. Try not to let things get you down. Give your self some credit bud. You'll be ok, I promise.
2007-10-04 22:23:55 · answer #4 · answered by TMama 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If you believe things can improve - they will. If you decide to be strong - you will. If you decide to be positive - you will.
But IT IS completely up to you by changing your thinking.
Your life will be whatever you make it. I'm speaking from experience here. Often people won't help especially if you come across as too needy because they can't understand the pain inside that you are feeling. The anxiety is something you will have to work through and may need some professional help with that. It is understandable with what you have been through to have some anxiety. Believing in yourself, staying focused, working on it and learning to relax can help you with that, but talking with a therapist may also help. I had to manage without family from 17 and alone in the world - I can understand. These are issues and it won't be easy but you can do it if you want to - you have to learn to rely on yourself and be strong within yourself.
To save you years of self help books (lol) I read Dr Wayne Dyers book -pulling your own strings & you'll see it when you believe it. And Louise Hay - the power is within you . - Many people go through this and survive, becoming strong sucessfull people with happy lives. Take care - it's all up to you.
2007-10-04 22:52:10 · answer #5 · answered by flip 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You do sound anxious and depressed and I am sorry for that. I agree with nickipettis. Get professional help. Get prescribed with an anti-depressant, for example, so you start to feel back to your old, confident self. "Sometimes, the medication doesn't seem to help. When that happens, it's smart to talk with the doctor because there are different families of medications that work in various ways. If none of the medications work, there's a good chance that you aren't chemically depressed at all. Instead, it's possible that the depression results from critical, self-defeating thinking. This is where professional counseling really helps."
2007-10-04 22:17:46 · answer #6 · answered by onlyme_6000 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The fact that you can see that you have self doubts about the direction you are heading ,shows a desire to change what might be to what will be , and a desire coming from within is a most powerful thing , over time you will learn that the support you crave comes from the same place ...within , find a role model , someone you look up to , do what they do,...think like they think,....act like them , learn about life from those who have the positive experiences of life and you will gain the self confidence you lack, there IS someone out there who can help you , now go find them .
2007-10-06 00:22:56 · answer #7 · answered by Vivian X 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe that time travel is impossible, and it's all due to a theory i have put together. The universe is a gigantic computer, everything, every atom is referenced with both a state, place and time. With this given theory, that if we were to invent "time travel" it wouldn't be a case of time but dimension or universe travel. It would jump your being and references to a universe or dimension in which you have not been referenced in, and you could act anyway you want in that universe without consequence as you were referenced to be there. There is many implications in this like the fact of time travel would have you going faster than the speed of light which i suspect would tear a hole (or rip as i call it) in the current universe that would pull everything that existed into the next one that hadn't had everything referenced. This wormhole would mean that in essence you have traveled through dimension or universes but the end result would be that nothing had seemed to have happened because you have pulled everything into the new place which could in theory have created the universe in the beginning and made a sort of doughnut shaped time/presence continuum that would repeat itself indefinitely like the mobius strip. Alternatively if you found a way to only push you through then you could act as you please knowing you could not affect the time continuum on your side, but if you traveled back it would be as though nothing had happened as your brain chemistry would reset to what it was as that was how you were referenced in that time. So if we did travel like this through time over dimensions/universes then there would be nothing to tell us we did. That means every time we have tried we could have, but thought it didn't work as there was no change in ourselves in this unified, audited universe. D.
2016-05-21 06:11:17 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would be very difficult to change with an attitude like that! GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK! Calm down and breathe, everything in your life is now up to you seeing as you are now an adult choose your own path and allow yourself to find happiness even if it's in just the little things for now! But you must allow yourself! No-one will do it for you, realise this first and then do something about it! GOOD LUCK x
2007-10-04 22:52:14 · answer #9 · answered by twistedshower 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
dont you have any friends or even bestfriends that you can lean on?
Try to mingle with them, look life in the positive side because only you can help yourselves if you keep on thinking that you are weak then you really are, but if you say to yourself that you are strong and smart then you are..
All you need to do is to develop your self confident.
Life is too beautiful.... and beside your too young many things will come on your way it maybe bad or good but learn from it.
2007-10-04 23:03:00 · answer #10 · answered by loney 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋