Real question is, how many of you, who are involved in a serious and long relationship and either you or your partner have cheated, and still are together? If you are still together, is your relationship sucessful? Have you truly forgiven the issue?
2007-10-04 21:50:06 · 26 answers · asked by Sesoid 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I forgave my ex husband the first time I found out he cheated. He took this as my consent for him to do it again. I divorced him the second time. One a cheat always a cheat in my view. I am very happily married to a man that will never cheat on me
2007-10-04 22:07:54 · answer #1 · answered by Dory 7 · 4⤊ 2⤋
I've been married twice and both husbands cheated, neither marriage survived. I couldn't believe when it happened the second time. The hurt and resentment are still there. I was the faithful one, but yet I have to suffer because of their stupidity,and I never gave them a reason to cheat. Guess they just did not love me and had no respect for their vows. My last divorce was over 12 years ago--my ex has since remarried 3 times, with each marriage lasting only one year. And, he had a marriage prior to ours that lasted only 3 months. He has reached the marrying limits in our state. Each of the other wives wised up quickly to what a scumbag he really is.
I have yet to remarry, it is hard to trust that much again, especially after being cheated on twice. My life did not turn out the way I thought it would, get married one time and stay best friends throughout our lives--sure didn't work out that way.
Now I have a wonderful boyfriend, a man who has never been married. It has been 4 years now and we are completely devoted to each other. He is my soul-mate, enjoy the same things, think alike. We share a lot of humor in our relationship, that is very important. We will get married one day, not sure when---guess when I feel I can take that step again.
2007-10-04 22:12:41 · answer #2 · answered by ladyliberty 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
From experience it is a hard road to travel staying together after an infidelity not just for the victim but the cheater too,The only way it can work is to get to the bottom of the issue in the first place. Cheating is a sign of big time problems in the relationship as wrong as it is; you guys need to get to the root of why it happened in the first place and be realistic is it a problem that can be solved or is it one that shows you two are not meant for each other..only you know in your heart. It is not just enough to have the cheater promise to never do it again if they do not understand their issue they will do it again if they do not get it will happen again. If you cannot get trust back it is better to end it amicably and move on.cheers
2007-10-05 04:51:54 · answer #3 · answered by Versacetica 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband cheated on me, but I analysed why it happened and decided that it was not all his fault. I was a very difficult person to live with and there are many factors that caused it.
I forgave him and now we couldn't be happier. It woke us both up and the dull monotomy that we had settled into is no longer. He loves me so much for the fact I forgave him and we are still together as a family. There is not a day goes by where he doesn't look me in the eye and tell me he loves me...
We talk more, do things together more and laugh all the time.
I do still have some trust issues and he understands that and knows the right things to do and say...and I do believe him.
Not all men are evil cheating b*stards, and sometimes we need to take some responsibility and see the bigger picture.
(If you are going through this feel free to message me and I will do all I can to give you advice as I know how it breaks your heart.)
2007-10-04 22:12:34 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am a survivor,my husband had an affair and it almost destroyed me mentally and physically but i hung in there and my husband was very humble and that helped a lot.That was 10 years ago and of coarse my husband thinks I'm fine because i never bring it up ,i will never be all right because what he did is unforgivable and in my book it is the unforgivable sin and he knows exactly how i feel about it. But that is my problem to deal with not his so with that being said i would say we have a successful marriage because we did not quilt on each other like so many do these days.
2007-10-05 11:57:50 · answer #5 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I trusted my first Husband, and when I was in Hospital having our son he was off with the girls from work, he didn't think I would find out, but him being stupid took photos and put them in the back of our wardrobe, and I found them, then he had an affair with some young bimbo, I found out, so I left him, met another man, was with him 11 years he did the same thing, but I thought forgive him, and stupid me did, another five years down the line he does it again, but this time it was my son who saw him with the woman, He tried to lie his way out of it, He tried to tell me it was his his sister in law, and I said it wasn't, he just kept going with the lies, and by this time I had enough, two years ago I moved out got my own place with my kids, went for a divorce which he thought I wouldnt go through with and last week he got the Decree Absolute, and now he's playing the hurt party, once a cheat always a cheat.
2007-10-05 05:59:26 · answer #6 · answered by TRIKER CHICK 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have been married for 15 years,yes my husband has cheated how many times i dont know.i really dont think anyone can get over that.the way i feel if you marry someone your suppose to b faithful to that person no matter what.the vows that a husband and wife takes is sacred.i love him very much is why i never left.but sometimes i wish i would have left because of the cheating thing.that type of pain can never go away no matter how hard you try to bury it!u can forgive but u will never forget!
2007-10-05 02:02:46 · answer #7 · answered by Don't take life 4 granted 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it is easy to forgive but you will never forgive. I caught my wife just as she was about to start an affair nothing happened and I am still with her. But I have not forgotten what she did and I trust her as I have too, before I trusted as I loved her. I still have a problem that she still works for the same company as her male friend even although they are in different cities.
2007-10-05 07:10:44 · answer #8 · answered by JimmyH 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband cheated and our relationship is very successful. I have truly forgiven him; you must do so or you will never be able to move forward; it will be hanging over your head. If you can't forgive then it is best to leave the relationship as you will not be happy. Each person must make their own choice as to what to do; it depends on the two people in the marriage.
2007-10-05 01:07:55 · answer #9 · answered by pussycat 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Yes i forgave my husband of 8 years and im now starting to feel happy again and feel that we are bonding better than before. He makes every effort to try and make me trust him again, by not giving me any bad thoughts of where he is and what he is doing i know exactly where he is now 100% all the time. And yes i have forgiven him but ill never forget, i try to just push it to the back of my mind.
2007-10-04 23:35:48 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have and its very hard to forgive and forget,it wasnt an affair as such ,more to do with a computer,if you see what i mean.I still find it hard to trust him,its the lies that i hated more than anything but that was over 2 years ago and were getting there,trust is one of the hardest things to get back,im not sure you ever get it back completely but im trying!
2007-10-04 22:33:35 · answer #11 · answered by KEEP 'ER LIT 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋