My child is scared to visit with his father?

Question

and he has reported that he's been spanked and locked in the dark, alone. I asked my ex and he hung up on me, refusing to answer my question.

I want to call authorities, but I don't know what they might do. What are your thoughts on this?

I am also thinking of having the child psychologically evaluated.

my child is 3 years old, almost 4

Answer 1

You believe your child. A child has not got the maturity to make stuff up like that. That is the whole problem with kids and abuse.....no-one believes them, so the abuse continues. Stop sending your child to see his/her father. Contact child services and I am sure they will have your child evaluated by a child psychologist....it will save you the expense. Do not put your child at risk anymore. If he wants to push it, then maybe he will have to take you through the courts. Its a long process, so by the time it gets to court you will have enough evidence to show that he is abusing your child. Protect your child at all costs.

Answer 2

O.K. now some common sense.

FIRST, spanking is NOT against the law, especially when carried out by a parent.

And 'locked in the dark' is also NOT illegal. How do you know he wasn't sent to bed and the door simply closed?

What I am trying to get you to realize is that children are children for a reason. And the kneejerk reactions here simply will involve you with a legal process there may be no reason or grounds to involve at the present time.

Also, unless a crime has been committed, you will be interfering with the child's father's rights. If that is your intention, then the court will know it and act accordingly.

The plain fact is, you have given no facts here on which to 'call the authorities' or to request 'supervised visitation' or for anything else except to try and communicate with your ex about the child's fears and to find a better way to handle discipline.

Failing that, unless you can prove abuse (and your post does NOT prove such) filing a false CPS complaint whenever something like this happens could end up costing you dearly.

YOU need to discuss this with your attorney AND perhaps your child before you do anything else.

Answer 3

You don't say his age & kids sometimes exgerate. But since his father refused to answer your question I'd definitely rather err on the side of safety. Call the authorities. If his father is doing that & mad he could seriously hurt your son to get revenge.

Your child needs to be evaluated because whether it's the truth or not he needs someone to walk through all his emotions going on inside & help him deal with it. But first and foremost is his protection.

I don't know about other states but in Ky. if a person unable to defend themselves is abused and either told you or you knew & didn't report it, it's not only a crime you can be charged for but if it's true you're considered an accessory to it. Thus the child could be placed in a foster home.

It's not fun nor easy to report someone when you have doubts of their guilt. But it's your responsibility to protect him & report it.

Answer 4

Do what your innertutions are saying to you. Always listen to your child and get to the bottom of this before damage can be done. Show the child you will always be there for him.
You sound like a very good mom. I would not let the child visit again until the father or the system could come up with answers. I would rather be in contempt of court by not letting him visit than the child being abused. I don't know your situation, but I would seek help for this is serious.Ihope all turns out well for you, my grands are facing some terrible times too. The child services will always say the father has a right to visit with their children. DUH! I say seek professional
legal help and find out your rights. Your child deserves a chance.

Answer 5

I agree, you need to call and report this. I agree with spanking but the locking in the dark thing is overboard. If he is spanking the child to the point that the child is afraid to go to him then he is probably going overboard. Also the fact that he refuses to discuss it indicates that he knows his punishments are too severe. Protect your child.

Answer 6

I know as a child problems can seem worse than they are. and some people's intentions seem more mindless than they are. But to answer you're question, That child's well being and growth are you're main concerns. if the father truly does choose to ignore you in the situation the theres just a reminder of his ignorance. if the child says so then yes contact the authorities but do as non-abrasivly to the child that you possibly can. hope this helps.

Answer 7

You do not say how old the child is, or where you are but .....
In Australia a child as young as 5 will be heard by a judge - in his chambers - and a 8 year old can present their own case in court - or in the judges chambers - and can make the decision not to go on access visits.

Fight for your SON !

This is family abuse!

Answer 8

If he has courtroom-ordered visitation rights, then specific, he's legally entitled to make certain them. inspite of the shown fact that, you may take the undertaking to courtroom in case you sense that the present association isn't on your babies's superb hobbies. in the event that they're legitimately afraid of him and there is reason to have faith that traveling him is unstable, then you definately could have a probability at getting the association revised. there is no age at which you would be able to legally refuse courtroom-ordered visitation; it lasts till 18. inspite of the shown fact that, the older you're, the greater probable a courtroom will take your opinion into consideration while figuring out what the visitation arrangements could be.

Answer 9

Protect your son. Call the authorities and your attorney. Your ex is refusing to discuss this w/ you and reacted agressively...assume the worst. Don't feel guilty about protecting your son. The authorities can't/won't remove your son from your care, if that;s one of the reasons why you don't want to contact them. Be strong and do this for your son.

Answer 10

Oh my!

I am guessing the authorities will prosecute his dad in some way. I think thats a good thing.

(how old is your child by the way?)

I'd tell them. BEcause i strongly doubt that talking to the father will have any effect - he wont even discuss the issue with you anyway. In the meantime, the father's behaviour may get worse.