My marriage has not been peachy cream, however I hold true to "for better or for worse". I got pregnant he walked out of my life when I was 3 months and left me with the mortage and no financial support. We have been seperated 7 months to this date and he has indicated he has moved on with another women and has admitted to cheating on me from day one. I have delieverd the baby and I can count on one hand how many times he has visit her. I never hear from him and when I call he never answers the phone, I dont know were he resides. Its like he just packed up and moved on as if I never exsist...This is very puzzling to me because how could a man whom you married do such a thing....Part of me loves him and the other half would like the opportunity to whoop his a$$! He has not filed for divorce as of yet and I feel why should I be the one to do so when he walked out on me and plus how could I afford it? I have cried so much these past months Im suprised I still have tears. Dont judge!!!
2007-10-04 20:01:56 · 22 answers · asked by canonlybeloved 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Divorce him, file for child support. You don't want him back he is a loser. Allow him to visit his child if he will but collect child support so you can take better care of your child. Don't tell your child you don't like her father he is her father so even if she doesn't like him it will hurt her if you say mean things about him.
2007-10-04 20:08:26 · answer #1 · answered by shipwreck 7 · 0⤊ 3⤋
You need to first talk to an attorney. There are attorneys that work"pro bono" there may be someone at a women's shelter that can help you legally or tell you where to go. You and your child have been abandoned.
Put your "feelings" for him aside for the time being and get mad at what he did.
You and your child will be better off without him but make sure he is ordered to support you financially.
Your feelings for "love" for him will go away when you are out of shock and see what he has truly done. You are worth more than a life like this. Good luck!
2007-10-05 01:00:40 · answer #2 · answered by Dani Bosco 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you do in a case like this is exactly what you are doing, Grieve. When a marriage, or long term relationship ends, no matter how friendly it is, there is a period of grieving just like there is when a loved one passes. I am sorry that this has happened to you, but rather than dwell on the anger and the grief, pull yourself up and believe that you deserve better. If you don't feel you can afford to pay for a divorce, or just don't want to divorce, at least file a separation that frees you up from any debts that he may incur without your knowledge. Don't rush into another relationship, just allow yourself to heal and take your life back. Good luck to you, I hope I have helped.
2007-10-04 20:11:18 · answer #3 · answered by penelopejanepitstop 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I am unbelievably sorry this has happened to you. I know you may feel like you want him back- and can't bear when people tell you to simply move on.... but you DO need to grieve this relationship- it's healthy to do so. I used to make myself listen to sad music, and force a cry out of myself. I always felt better after wards.
Also- try and re-evaluate what you really are willing to tolerate from a man- and what needs you really need to have met. You deserve to find that- and never ever think you won't!
What you need to explore- is- do you really want to be involved with a man in any way- that would do something so immoral? so cold and heartless? I do not care what the circumstance was.
Can you really ever trust a man that would turn his back on you and his unborn child? I think the grief you feel now- may actually be a few notches better than the feeling you'd have of always wondering what you should be doing to keep him around....
2007-10-04 20:10:35 · answer #4 · answered by **leigh** 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
God! that's sound an ***!... listen your story is almost same as my but...it's was my father left my family...i have no father since 19 years and he left me and my 2 sisters too, my single mother raise us ( we are triplets ).... my mom didn't care and didn't want him waste her time, and guess what? he miss alot of fun since me & my 2 sisters grew up, watch us grow so much, and now i am married, and had recently baby boy on june 26, 2007, he never met my son or my husband, he miss alot and my mom told me that she had so much fun since me and my 2 sisters were babies no matter what if my father is not there and she very happy that she had her first grandson (my son). so try not let him waste ur time or anything too, if he did not filed down for the divorce maybe you should filed the divorce, he will be very sorry later.
and dont forget him pay child support to your babies.
2007-10-04 20:14:25 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
look i wont show any sympathy over past things once time has gone dont cry over it think ahed it was really bad ,,
but stop crying u r not a kid its die hard to digest but look at teh baby and gather the courage make hoim a good man times are togh defend for the divorce what u said ..
and dont expect loyality from any human bieng human bieng is the most astable atom in d world how dare u say even after 3 years u cant guarentee even after 30 yesars...
all d best dont loose faith if u have in what called as god trust him else one whom u . teach him a good lesson just let him know u can do well without him rather beter ..
look as if ur child a new life and cause for u
go ahead dear...
2007-10-04 20:17:06 · answer #6 · answered by Swapnil K 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would file for divorce. Why keep yourself tied to a bastard like him, when you can be raking in the child support and allimony. I understand that's it's not the money that you want, (assuming since you stated the vow) but sometimes, greed just has to take over and push through. Especially while dealing with a twit like him. I say get a lawyer, honey and rape his financial freedom.
2007-10-04 20:08:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should file on abandonment grounds. And try and get some child support. You can pick yourself up and tell yourself that you deserve better!!! You don't still love him!! This is a common mistake in thinking you do. You love the man he was, but not the man he is.
2007-10-04 20:07:11 · answer #8 · answered by StephS 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ok, I presume you're quite young? I'll skip the "you have your whole life ahead of you" talk ... You have a baby now, it's sad that her dad doesn't care..very very sad for her..but it's about you and her now! You need to be strong for your little daughter she need a 100 % of her mother now. I understand that this is very hard for you and it will be for some time, there's no way around that, but when you have a baby you MUST concentrate on her and give her all you got. Don't get stuck in "the way things COULD have been...if only... etc it will only drag you down...just focus on what needs to happend now. focus on your girl, she deserves your energy, he doesn't!
I wish you and your daughter the very best of luck.
2007-10-04 20:17:34 · answer #9 · answered by CC 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
no judgment here. but trust me it is a common problem. some men don''t know the words honor and resposibility. however your best asset for now is friends and family. my friend charity has almost the exact problem however she waited almost 8 mths before realizing that clinging to the childs fathe rwasnt going to work. authorities will also be very sympathetic to your case especially if you work hard for the childs well being. i would definitely check on the legal stand point for custody allemony(misspelled) and child support. either way msg me if you would like more tips ill check with charity and some others here
2007-10-04 20:32:16 · answer #10 · answered by theraven_loki 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
nothing to judge, you haven't done anything wrong. okay, first of all, sue his *** for child support. that's just a given. he has to support his child. alimony is a possibility too because of the mortgage. he can't just walk out of his wife's and child's life and expect to live scot-free without repurcussions. Its up to you on whether or not you want to file for divorce. I say forget him, you're better off without, he obviously doesn't love and respect you as much as he should. So move on but make sure to get that chunk out of him.
2007-10-04 20:29:16 · answer #11 · answered by jenisilly80 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋