question about the crying out method?

Question

ok, I'm trying my baby out for the first time on the 'cry it out method' hes 5 months old and gets up 3 to 4 times a night, and barely feeds (hes breastfed) what advice do you all have for me to make this a positive decision that I made. any stories you wish to share??? thanks in advance

Answer 1

I only tried this once -- when my 3 yr. old wouldn't stay in bed. We blocked her door closed, told her to stay in bed, and didn't go back till she was quiet. She had cried herself to sleep trying to get the door open.

I felt so horrible I never used that method again. I just laid down on her bed with her, rubbed her back, and kept her company until she fell asleep. If I was tired, sometimes I'd doze off with her.

I don't think I could do this with a 5 month old. They only cry if they want something. He probably isn't hungry. He's just awake. Tired as you are, Mama, he will get past this stage.

You might put him in bed with you. You might delay going to get him. Is he eating solids? You might make sure he gets some cereal or something with enough fiber to keep his tummy full longer before bedtime.


There are books on how to get babies to sleep through the night. Ask your local librarian to help you find them.

Answer 2

I think he is too young! I didn't use this method until my son was about 9 months old. If he is breastfed (wonderful) he still needs to eat often. He doesn't need to be up 3-4 times, but don't expect a full nights sleep yet. And if you mix the crying it out method and the feeding him once a night still, then he'll be confused... will mommy come this time I cry or the next time? Well I'll just cry til she comes...

Are you using bottles at all with your breastmilk in them? Maybe daddy could help once a night with a bottle...

He is old enough to start cereal... try giving him some cereal an hour or so before bedtime. This might help fill up his little belly a bit before he nurses at bedtime.

Answer 3

It's perfectly normal for a five month old breastfed baby to be waking 3-4 times a night and snack at the breast. CIO can severely damage the breastfeeding relationship, apart from the potential emotional damage it can cause.

If you need more sleep, I'd recommend co-sleeping with baby so you can feed and sleep at the same time. A co-sleeping baby will often sleep better during the night too.

My four month old sleeps through, but rolls over to feed about 4 times during the night without waking, as have all my others.

Might be something to consider.

CIO isn't recommended for babies under six months, or breastfed babies under a year.

Answer 4

Like has been said before, cry it out is not at all a positive thing. Babies rely on their parents for everything, including the feeling of being safe and secure. There is a reason he is crying and a reason he is waking up, and it doesn't have to be because he's hungry, maybe if he opens his eyes, he doesn't recognize where he's at right away and that scares him. He has no other way of getting anyone's attention so he cries. A babies language is crying, he can't tell you that he just doesn't feel good, that he just wants you to be around until he falls asleep, everything is wrapped up in the crying.

Here is a link to something from AskDrSears.com


http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/handout2.asp

Answer 5

This method is callled the ferber method, not the cry it out method. I suggest you go to the nearest barnes and noble or order his book online. This method does NOT condone just leaving the child to cry all night. You take it in steps and according to the method it is ok to go pat your child on the back or rub their back. You are not supposed to pick them up or feed them. This of course does not apply to a child that was not fed before bed for some reason or a child that is sick. His method does NOT cause brain damage or emotional damage. You are doing a very good thing for your child by teaching him/her to self soothe. Don't let these people tell you what you want to do will ruin your baby. They are probably runing their babies by smothering them with attention everytime they cry and allowing them to sleep in bed with the parents. Talk about damaging your kids....lol dont listen to what they say. Buy the book and get informed..good luck:)

Answer 6

Suggestion, maybe the baby is getting up that often because of teething? Or maybe he's more distracted during the day while eating and getting up to make up for the calories he didn't get during the day? And babies get up alot as well if they are going through a milestone, like rolling over. We are going through teething right now with my 5 month old, and he has been getting up 3-6 times a night. Breastfeeding releases a pain reliever into the milk and he gets it. We co-sleep as well so I can just roll over and give him the boob and we both go back to sleep. If it has been a few hours I would get up though and make sure he gets a good feedin with me sitting up in bed.

But I do not believe in CIO at all. I have read like the previous people have stated that it is very bad. He is learning to trust you right now. Here is a link from Harvard http://www.hno.harvard.edu/gazette/1998/04.09/ChildrenNeedTou.html saying the children need to be touched and held and LOVED. Not to let them cry it out.

So hopefully you don't make your child suffer through this by himself. I know if I was my DS I wouldn't want to be just left crying. If I do let him cry its 2 mins and with me holding and rocking him till I offer him the boob again.

Answer 7

I agree with Sarah and ShellyC; "crying it out", affects brain development. I also agree that you should not turn on the light, get him up or play with him. I also agree that the only time you should "let a baby cry it out", is if you are very frustrated; then it is best to walk away and give yourself a "time-out"; to prevent shaken baby syndrome. All babies go through a period of waking up at night, after they have been sleeping through. However, this problem often develops without parents realizing it, by rocking a baby to sleep in the early days. They then wake up at night, and don't know how to get themselves back to sleep. Make sure he has been fed, changed, etc. When he cries go to him, tell him he's ok and walk out. This lets him know that you will still come if he needs you, but that he's not going to get snuggles and playtime. After a few nights of this, it will be a lot better and he will start figuring out how to put himself back to sleep.

Answer 8

Hi Amanda
Before you try 'cryng out', try having daddy soothe the baby so that he's not smelling breast milk. If you have to get up for the baby, then try laying your hands on his chest and cheek instead of picking him up. If you sooth baby for the instead of the first feed, maybe you can stretch time so that one feed time leads to the next, and reduce N° of feeds.

You might be picking him up for a feed when he's not quite awake, wait to see if he really crys first... with all of my kids, at the age of sleeping thru the nite I'd look first for open eyes or wait a bit to see if baby was truly hungry before picking them up.

I haven't had a look at the studies that everyone is citing in a panic but I DID cry out my son whose now nearly 8.
At 6 months, he was well fed, burped, clean diaper etc and always got sleepy at 8.30 and yet cried when we put him to bed; we sat gritting our teeth and the TV extra loud while he cried. It was a test of will power to see who would go to get him first! (I lost more often than not lol)
I even had to suffer thru crying it out when taking my son for a 3wk visit with my family. Boy was that hard! Nothing like the extra pressure of Grandparents to stress you out!
But it did work, and my son is a perfectly happy child. Maybe he'll be an axemurder when he's an adult but I seriously doubt it LOL

I didn't need this for my little girl, now 3, but will probably try for my 3month old if need be.

Have a look at the suggested links from other answers before decide if you have the willpower to do this (maybe in a month nights will be better). I think that you know your situation & strenghts best!

Good luck with your little guy!

Answer 9

OK this is just an idea, but what if he is still hungry? What if he is not getting enough milk? After his night time feed, could you express some milk and top him up with a bottle (using your milk). Breast milk is easily tolerated and digests very quickly, more so than formula milk. I'm not saying that formula is better. Far from it. Breast milk is always best. I would give it a try first. It could make all the difference.

Answer 10

Do some research - several studies at universities such as Harvard have proven that this method can cause irreversible damage to areas of the brain responsible for emotional responses and development. Children who "cry it out" are more likely to be less independent than children who were not subjected to this. There are other kinder methods. I think that it is better to try a different routine - make bedtime a peaceful time that is not interrupted by noises such as TV and radio.

Please do not do this to your child - it is proven to be a cruel method.