A while back my girlfriend had an abortion even though I didn't want her to. Shoudl I dump her over this? It has been bugging me.
2007-10-04 18:23:38 · 21 answers · asked by calnevariguy 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
If you love her very much, you shouldn't. If your own morality comes before love, than, I guess you should dump her. If you feel so strongly about abortions, than why are you having unprotected sex in the first place? Why did you put yourselves in that predicament? I love right-wing Christian fanatics -- it's ok to have unprotected sex and put yourself in danger of having a baby before your time, but you can't have abortions. Love that!!!! So righteous, yet so hypocritical. Bible thumpers amuse me.
2007-10-04 18:25:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 7⤊ 5⤋
This has to be a decision made for yourself, not by someone else's opinion. If it were me, I would have. An abortion can cause a lot of emotional problems, and I know it was her choice, but women never think of how it will affect the father. It's a decision of what you feel in your heart is morally correct. If you are against abortion and feel resentment towards her, then that will never heal. I'm really not trying to preach, but I hope you learned your lesson. (even if she says she is on BC, still use a condom) I don't know if that was the case or not, but often times it is.. I think a little less pleasure is definitely worth not killing a child. Think it through, and don't take my advice to heart.. It's just my personal opinion. If you feel like you can't forgive her, or you might not want to spend your life with someone who could do that, then you do what you think is best.
2007-10-04 18:29:10 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
Well, if the two of you talked about the pregnancy and you made your position clear to her that you wanted to have the baby and she aborted anyway, then I would say there are some serious issues that you need to address. If you don't want the same things out of this relationship, then maybe it's time to move on and find someone who shares your values.
Ultimately you have to decide if you can live with it. If you're going to be pissed at her and blame her and bring it up during every argument from here on out, then it's best to cut your losses and leave.
2007-10-04 18:27:27 · answer #3 · answered by Take A Test! 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
was it your child? did you ask her not to and without you knowing she went and had it done? were you willing to step up to the responsibility and take care of her and the child? it just depends on the circumstances. if you asked her not to being the father of that child she should have considered your opinion and your wants. the baby was part of you too. if you cant forgive her for what she done then yes you should end your relationship with her. i personally know a guy that broke up this his high school sweet heart because she had an abortion and he would have taken responsibility for the child and taken care of it, she just didnt want to look bad to the people at school for having a baby at such a young age, he was off at boot camp and she went and murdered their unborn child. i cant blame you for feeling this way if you like him were willing to step up and take responsibility for something that you done. she knew that having unprotected sex could lead to pregnancy as well as you, yet she chose the easy way out and had an abortion when you wanted to love and raise the child. i wish you the best of luck in whatever you decide but think seriously before you do anything.
2007-10-04 18:46:07 · answer #4 · answered by Teri 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, it did take 2 for it to happen. I know if I was to get pregnant right now I would have an abortion (granted i am on birth control and use condoms so i would have taken every precaution not to get it pg in the first place) so i would like my boyfriend to back me up, but if it is bothering you talk to her about it, and if it still does maybe its the best thing. good luck, i wish you the best with everything
2007-10-04 18:42:05 · answer #5 · answered by hallie 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I really don't know you 2 that well to say yes to it or no to it. Do you love her? Was there problems that she had to have the abortion? I don't ever think there is an answer to an abortion but I hate to judge anyone that I don't know.
2007-10-04 19:50:48 · answer #6 · answered by Wendie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you sound like a bit of a jerk. Neither person in a couple should be forced to have a child if they don't want to. If she has a baby, the man has the option of leaving. If she doesn't want it, and he does, it's not like the man can carry it for nine months, and push it out and all.
If she doesn't want to have a baby yet, then she shouldn't have to. Maybe you should talk to her about it, and tell her it hurt you. You might find out that maybe she didn't trust that you would stick with her or something like that.
You should at least talk to each other before dumping her. That's what adult relationships are all about.
2007-10-04 18:32:09 · answer #7 · answered by A derka der 7 · 7⤊ 1⤋
If its bugging you then I don't think its going to go away, and in that case I think you should split up with her, but not be nasty about it. I stopped talking to two of my friends, who I still love in my heart, because they told me they had abortions. It's not judging in my opinion, its just that abortion is not something I agree with and that's my personal and religious conviction, and I find it difficult in my own conscience to not think about abortion whenever I see those friends. So perhaps its best to move on like I did, and then in time hopefully you'll find it in your heart to forgive her, and if it's your baby, to forgive yourself.
2007-10-08 17:39:28 · answer #8 · answered by sunny days are here 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps you and her should have a talk, let her know your feelings on the situation that occured, maybe you two can work past it, if not and it still continues to bother you than I'd say move on, afterall there is no sense in being in an unhappy relationship.
Good luck my friend!!
2007-10-04 18:28:25 · answer #9 · answered by chichibaby 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That all depends on how you feel. Some guys could get past that, and some I am sure, would have a hard time. I can see where that could definietely be grounds for a breakup, though. Like I said, it depends on how heinous it is to you.
2007-10-04 18:53:08 · answer #10 · answered by Amanda K 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Since she made the decision on her own, it sounds like you cannot forgive her. If not then the relationship will never work and you should cut the knot and move on.
2007-10-04 19:48:50 · answer #11 · answered by Kris 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋